Yes, the weight we gain can be added gradually, so we don't always see it like others around us see it. I looked at some vacation pictures back from last year - when I thought in my mind I was a certain size and that I looked good - then I saw the pictures and it was like "who is that?" OMgosh! I could not believe it was me - what a wake up call! I had managed to pack on 25 pounds and like alot of women, I carry the weight all over, so I just didn't realize it. Yes, my clothes were tighter - even had to go up a size (or two
) but still didn't really think it was all that bad. I would make jokes about it around my family - and they would not say anything...that should have been a BIG hint! LOL!
But anyway, my point is that alot of us have faced or are currently facing the same feelings and issues you are and struggle with the same type of yo yo dieting and depressions.
What this site has helped me to learn is that it isn't about "dieting" - all that leads to is temporary weight loss, that is bound to be regained time and time again.
The key to successful and permanent weight loss is healthy eating - making smart choices of whole grain, unprocessed foods. Lots of veggies, lean meats, healthy fats that come from nuts, LF cheeses, olive oil, etc.
I had to learn to give up the "easy" stuff that I had always used to lose weight - no more frozen diet meals...no more 100 calorie packs of processed foods...stay away from the sweets and fried stuff - period. Eat more fresh fruit, fresh salad with tons of vegetables. Steam bagged veggies are great and so easy! Just dont load them up with butter. Broiled, baked or pan seared with a bit of Olive oil is great for chicken, fish or lean beef. Getting rid of diet colas, sodas is major help and very hard to do -
but it really does help to lose the weight.
Don't be afraid to ask questions. Read some of the diet and workout journals here, they are really helpful to get an idea of a basic daily menu and workout ideas.
Try to exercise 5 days a week alternating between cardio and strength training. Again, there are tons of suggestions on the Shapefit site, complete exercise demo's. I don't have a gym membership but have learned how to work out at home doing alot of body weight exercises - just basic stuff like reverse crunches, pushups, planks, jumping jacks, burpees, squats, lunges, etc. And I have a stability ball and some resistance bands that really are great for a good, intensive, workout. You Tube has so many great videos of bodyweight workouts, stab. ball & Resistance band workouts.
I hope this helps you, glad you are here!! Keep us up to date with your progress - you will find alot of motivation and support from members here who know and understand the battles and struggles of trying to become more healthy and fit.