Attempted Mugging >:U

So some dumbass kid who thinks he's a gangster(the most annoying kind of stupid people) tried to mug me today..He was talking trash about my friends that were waving to me from my bus. Usually I just ignore how stupid people are, but then I heard him say "That small one is hot."

"That small one" happens to be my girlfriend..so instinctively I just told him to shut his mouth. He followed me into an underground parking lot and said if I gave him all of my money he wouldn't kick my ass.

So I said: "Hmm. No?" So he went to attack me.

Needless to say he has:

1 pair of purple testicles
1 swollen nose
2 black eyes
and a brand new mugshot

I had to try rather hard to convince my friends/sister's mom that this happened. Because I'm a very non-violent guy. But the only thing I take seriously is my girlfriend. Ever read about what happens when one wolf tries to steal the Alpha Wolf's mate?

So some dumbass kid who thinks he's a gangster(the most annoying kind of stupid people) tried to mug me today..He was talking trash about my friends that were waving to me from my bus. Usually I just ignore how stupid people are, but then I heard him say "That small one is hot."

"That small one" happens to be my girlfriend..so instinctively I just told him to shut his mouth. He followed me into an underground parking lot and said if I gave him all of my money he wouldn't kick my ass.

So I said: "Hmm. No?" So he went to attack me.

Needless to say he has:

1 pair of purple testicles
1 swollen nose
2 black eyes
and a brand new mugshot

I had to try rather hard to convince my friends/sister's mom that this happened. Because I'm a very non-violent guy. But the only thing I take seriously is my girlfriend. Ever read about what happens when one wolf tries to steal the Alpha Wolf's mate?

LMAO! Good for you wolf! I'm proud of you. I like to think that i'm a lover not a fighter... however it i told you that I've never been in a fist fight i'd definitely be lying. I'm a firm believer that sometimes some people just need thier a$$'s kicked. Mr Purple Balls is obviously one of them. LOL!

Way to go Wolf! Not only have you stood up for yourself (and your girlfriend, who I am sure thinks you are a superhero), but now this guy will probably think twice before mouthing off and attempting to mug someone else. Awesome job!

Way to go Wolf! Not only have you stood up for yourself (and your girlfriend, who I am sure thinks you are a superhero), but now this guy will probably think twice before mouthing off and attempting to mug someone else. Awesome job!

She already says I'm a superhero lol. She's called me "Superman" for years.

You’re a real man sticking up for your girl
I am my fiancé's bodyguard…

Oh man. I am crackin' up. I don't typically condone that kind of thing, but that guy probably had it coming.

I feel really bad for him. He just wanted a couple bucks now he has purple testes. Idk but it sounds painful?

I hope his testicals take a VERY long time to heal so he has lots of time to think about his actions.

I'm pretty sure I broke his nose! I just realized I have blood on the knee that I hit him with. So yeah, he's not a happy camper. My dad's worried his friends might try to pull something. Maybe I'll have another crime-fighting story for you guys tomorrow

I'm pretty sure I broke his nose! I just realized I have blood on the knee that I hit him with. So yeah, he's not a happy camper. My dad's worried his friends might try to pull something. Maybe I'll have another crime-fighting story for you guys tomorrow

Hey Kyle, is your Dad a truck driver?

My dad's worried his friends might try to pull something.

I was a little worried about that as well. Just take care of yourself....watch your back, try to stay in a group - don't isolate yourself anywhere. But hopefully you got the message across to him - and he will respect your space and your friends from now on.

I'm pretty sure I broke his nose! I just realized I have blood on the knee that I hit him with. So yeah, he's not a happy camper. My dad's worried his friends might try to pull something. Maybe I'll have another crime-fighting story for you guys tomorrow

Hey Kyle, is your Dad a truck driver?

Nope, he works as transport at the Hospital. Thats why I'm allowed to use their gym

My dad's worried his friends might try to pull something.

I was a little worried about that as well. Just take care of yourself....watch your back, try to stay in a group - don't isolate yourself anywhere. But hopefully you got the message across to him - and he will respect your space and your friends from now on.

If his friends are there all I gotta do is not go through that underground parking lot. If I just goa round i go right through the town square. 1000's of witnesses FOR THE WIN!

I don't know why anyone would try to mug a guy that comes in at 305 pounds. It is quite beyond me.

As for the friends threatening you I would suggest you follow my uncle's advice (I did and it worked).

If they threaten you, then pick one guy from the gang and beat the holy crap out of him. Take his wallet out and make a note of his home address (and make sure he knows you have his home address).

Then say, "If anyone bothers me, and I don't care who it is, I will come back and beat you again. I will do this every time someone bothers me. So it is in your best interest to make sure that no one bothers me or my girlfriend ever again."

(Oh, and make sure that after he acknowledges what you said the you pop him good a few more times for emphasis.)

Amongst a certain class of citizens (and this guy seems to be in that class) this approach is spectacularly effective, and other approaches seem quite ineffective.

My dad once gave me a wonderful piece of wisdom. This, after I dropped by his house to tell him I was going to the grocer and did he need me to get anything for him. I asked him to babysit Wiggles while I was off running errands. I told him if he did anything to her in my absence, I would remove one of his toes.

"No, Les, that's always the first mistake. It's the same thing that happens when you say, 'Stop! Or I'll shoot!' What you shoulda done was winged one at 'em to let 'em know you mean business, then pop 'em one if he doesn't roll over."

I don't know why anyone would try to mug a guy that comes in at 305 pounds. It is quite beyond me.

Thats what I was thinking 6'-3"------305 lbs.

He was roughly the same height as me, but I carry my weight very well. I don't look like I would weigh anywhere near 300lbs. Either that or he was just a very stupid person.