Eating Disorder??

[Fygle]

Question. Whole grain rice vs. brown rice, which is better? What's the difference?

[Fygle]

So it's basically the same thing?

[MissJenaKay]

Hi Jena,

That is a bit of an issue with not having access to a wide variety of healthy food. For fruits and veggies you could always buy frozen varieties... throw them in the freezer and use as needed. Also, things like eggs, legumes (lentils are awesome and very cheap!), nuts, oats, brown rice, quinoa, whole grain cereals... all store for quite a while so you could always stock up on these items.

Sometimes its just a matter of making changes where you can and just making the best of what you've got. We all have barriers that we have to overcome... its just a matter of looking at your situation and finding areas where improvements and changes can be made.

Cassie,

Next time we go shopping I'll try that, getting more frozen fruits and veggies and I'll try to get my momma to buy extras of the healthy stuff. :] Thanks for all the help.

Jena. :]

[Athene]

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish and leave only frustration for the life you deserved, but never have been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists. It is real. It is possible. IT IS YOURS."

Cassie

This is awesome.

[MissJenaKay]

Hi Jena, I just wanted to put a teenage guy's point of view in this thread

Don't sell yourself too short. You are, in fact, VERY pretty!

I also think you're at least a little right in saying that changing my body may help with some other issues, but as for my shyness and a couple other mood issues go, that's issues that I don't think losing weight can help, neurological chemical stuff. . . :/

In my honest opinion, I believe the neurological and chemical stuff doctors describe is 80% bullshit. I've been overweight my entire life and I'm 6'3" tall, and I used to be shy/scared about the jocks who were a foot shorter than me, and I hated talking to new people. When I finally took the time to look at my mom's side of the family and realized that the majority of them are overweight with diabetes, I took a stand and made a change.

If you need a guy's perspective.point of view/advice, feel free to give me a holler. Anyone on this forum will tell you I like to help people

~Wolf

Hello, Doll,

First of all, please do not call me pretty, and don't tell me I'm selling myself short. I'm really not pretty, I hate how I look, face, body or otherwise. I hate hearing compliments, it just... I don't know, it makes me angry that people would fool themselves into thinking that I'm attractive. (By the way, I apologise for my bitchiness there.)

I'm glad that you decided to make changes. Change is good, regardless of what it is, usually. :] Also, as far as your family having weight and diabetes issues, I face the same scares in my own family. Both sides of my family are over weight, both have prevalent diabetes and prevalent heart disease. It scares me A LOT, but I'm having issues trying to decide which scares me more, the potential health issues, or the miserable and disgusted feelings I get when I eat.

Also, thank you for the little bit of advice and info, however, I know that my issues stem from psychological and neurological chemical imbalances. I've been a large girl my whole life, but it was only recently, about five years ago, that I started having severe depression problems, to the point of me becoming a severe cutter. To the point that I would add around 100 slices to my arms and wrists each time I felt horrible. I also have OCD and I'm bipolar. The OCD I have suffered from my whole life and the bipolar set in only a couple months after the depression. I will admit that I tend to get happy after working out or something of the sort, but eating in general makes me miserable, depressed and sick, so even though I eat healthy, which I pretty much always have (with the exception of a couple guilty pleasures ex: ice cream and gummy worms) I tend not to eat nearly as much as I should. If you were to look at my nutrition calendar, the days are perfectly accurate, I make sure that I document what I eat, directly after eating it. As you can see, I don't eat much at all. I do drink a lot of water and a lot of tea. Those things I tend not to document merely because I always have a drink in my hand, so I'd have to be on the computer all day.

Thanks again for your input and the offer for your help, doll.
Jena :]

[Boss Man]

I'm going to say something now and feel free to shoot me down in flames, but you ARE a good looking person and I think you ARE being a touch hard on yourself .

There I've said it.

I also think that within you is a person that to some extent is beautiful and that is why you look like you do, because some of it radiates outwards.

I know you hate compliments, to be honest I feel a little awkward myself with them sometimes, not because I hate them, but because I feel sometimes as if they're unnecessary, but I accept them with good grace. That's me telling it from my perspective, not giving you advise on that particular matter.

I also want to tell you that I am exceptionally proud of you, for talking about your personal issues. You know it takes heart, courage and strength, to disclose the things you do and at your age, that is an absolutely fantastic show of self confidence, when clearly in relation to what you've experienced emotionally and mentally in life, you have not had a serious amount of experience of the big world view, like someone twice your age might.

So your heart, courage and confidence impess me and I often do find a certain beauty in such admissions from people. I don't look at you and see someone who should be pitied, but someone who should be praised for standing up and saying this is me, it's not perfect but I am trying to make it better and I want to be helped and supported, instead of stumbling along, trying to do it myself and to a large extent failing.

Your attitude impresses me also. I know you're not trying to be bitchy, you just have what some might call an uncommon mindset, to some types of positive comments and need some way to express what you feel when people say those things.

Take it as read though, whether you like hearing this or not, you DO have a certain beauty about you, that shines from within and also is present in your words too. It shows that you are not broken, unfixable, or damaged, you're just someone with some imperfections, that could be corrected in part or maybe even in whole.

Maybe some of your aversion to some types of positive comments, may stem from never getting told certain things enough in your past, or maybe you feel as if you don't deserve nice comments, but you truly do and you have come here and every time, displayed the qualities of a Lady and been a great part of the community. Warm, respectful, honest, genuine and humble.

You've shown a lot to others of yourself and let us see some of the best of you and it's really appreciated . You add value to the community and you deserve the help and warm comments you get given.

I know with time you CAN achieve what you want and you should be so, so proud of all your attempts right now, to overcome your physical, mental and emotional hurdles, because for someone with your clearly difficult background, every little positive probably counts and is worth double, compared to most people.

So WELL DONE for doing what you have been doing. Training, logging your food, trying to be proactive on caloric intake and quality of food too.

I won't say you're selling yourself short, I'll say you're slowly but surely learning the true value of you as a person and I think in time, you'll be able to recognise and accept more of the things, members like me see in you and be able to appreciate their value and impact on others.

So you can shoot me down in flames if you want, for what I've written, I'm a grown man, I'll take your heat and your emotional bullets if you want , but I will reiterate just how proud of you I am, for talking about your issues and being able to show people here, just how wonderfully human and warm you are.

I hope if not now, then someday soon, you can be proud of yourself too. I think you're a young "Lady", with a great future and you deserve tremendous happiness.

Keep up the hard work and keep doing everything you're doing, because if you believe in yourself like we do, you will be able to achieve some pretty amazing things.

GOOD LUCK Jena.

.

[MissJenaKay]

Boss Man (That feels awkward to write. ),

Thank you for taking all the time to think out and write all that you did. I greatly appreciate the fact that you've paid attention to me. It's not something that occurs very much. I may not be able to accept myself, I can't even accept compliments. But the fact that other people see good things in me amazes me. I've always felt like I'm a worthless person, and so I always let myself be taken advantage of and I generally don't care. I'm not going to shoot you down in flames for complimenting me, but it still makes my skin crawl and it somewhat disturbs me that someone would call me beautiful. I've always been told "You'd be prettier if... xyz" I've never been told that I'm beautiful as is, except for maybe two or three people in my life, and I've always laughed in their face. I honestly don't believe the compliments, and I don't think I will until I have my body and everything else the way I want it.

Thank you for being proud, I know there are not many people that are, I mean, my parents are, but they are only ever proud of my academic accomplishments. They've never once told me that they're proud that I've survived my suicide attempts, or that I've quit cutting, or that I reached out for help with my emotional and mental issues, they're only proud of things that the public eye can see. Which, honestly, at times, makes me feel like all the work I have done to improve myself is for naught. So, thank you, thank you very much. It's scary how sometimes people that you've never known in person and you've only known for a very short time can be so caring and helpful and supportive. So thank you to you and everyone else that has been kind and welcoming to me since I joined here.

Thank you all, so much.
Jena

P.S. You really think I'd get angry and shoot down my elders?? I was raised better than that, sir.

[cassiegose]

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish and leave only frustration for the life you deserved, but never have been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists. It is real. It is possible. IT IS YOURS."

Cassie

This is awesome.

Glad you like it. Its one of my faves.

[cassiegose]

In my honest opinion, I believe the neurological and chemical stuff doctors describe is 80% bullshit. I've been overweight my entire life and I'm 6'3" tall, and I used to be shy/scared about the jocks who were a foot shorter than me, and I hated talking to new people. When I finally took the time to look at my mom's side of the family and realized that the majority of them are overweight with diabetes, I took a stand and made a change.

When I first went to the gym with my dad, I weighed myself and I was a whopping 312 pounds! At age 17 and the way I was going, I knew the only way I would go is downhill unless I changed everything.

I started working out and eating better, and subconsciously my self-esteem rose and my shyness disappeared. Exercise and eating right changes your body AND mind, without you realizing it. Lifting weights, out of habit and discipline made my posture improve and within a couple months, my girlfriend noticed that I was clearing the halls in school. because I was walking confidently (and my size being a good factor) just projecting that confidence to other people they would move out of my way without me being aggressive OR even making eye contact.

My point is that people underestimate the power of a healthy lifestyle. A friend of mine suffered from chronic headaches and she would be sick all the time. I told her all about my journey, and she jumped on the boat too. Her headaches are gone, and she hasn't felt sick in months. At first, when she was reluctant to join me in fitness, she was like "It's not all an easy fix Kyle..some things only doctors can do.." Boy did I give her a piece of my mind! I told her it's not easy, it's just SIMPLE.

If you need a guy's perspective.point of view/advice, feel free to give me a holler. Anyone on this forum will tell you I like to help people

~Wolf

WOLFIE!!!!

Hey there pal!! Just a few quick things for you...

First... That ^ was AWESOME advice.

Second... YOU are such an inspiration!!!!

Third... I am SO freaking proud of you and your progress!! This site is lucky to have you around. You're doing great and I have a feeling you are destined to do some pretty great things in your life. Keep up the awesome work.

Cassie

[Boss Man]

Hey Jena.

Firstly, thank you for responding with such levels of kindness and understanding. It's something I've come to respect, appreciate and admire about you .

We certainly would never say anything about someone we didn't feel or think. I totally understand about how you feel regards positive comments. Sometimes when people feel they don't deserve any, or start to believe they're not worth any, they really do take them badly sometimes it's no doubt, because they don't want people telling tme what feels like lies or something they haven't earned, or don't deserve.

It is a truly amazing achievement, that for someone of your age, you have as stated survived suicides, cutting and been able to find the sheer heart, courage and emotional fortitude to be able to talk to us about it. You really, really can be so proud of being able to be here now, posting these things.

You speak so eloquently from the heart and you're a very intelligent writer and very emotionally expressive. I couldn't be crass enough, as to claim I know what the heartaches and tribulations you have lived through feel like, because I've never lived them, nor known anyone that has.

So I can only imagine how your life has progressed, but I can empathise with you, because you make difficult things easy to understnad, by expressing them beautifully and I htink the time is coming, when your life can finally start to feel, like the life of what you would consider a normal person, because your attitude and behaviour shows the qualities of a Lady and shows very rational responses and high levels of social awareness.

So I think the next phase of your life will be a lot more rewarding, enriching and something that you can continue to be proud of.

You're half my age, but I am in no doubt whatsoever, that by the time you're my age, you will be a more fully rounded, more 3-dimensional, more accomplished person, mentally, emotionally and physically.

Your words, responses and warm, expressive people skills do you so much credit and show me that there is a brighter future for a young "Lady", that I think has truly earned that life and certainly i this site and this community can continue to show you the same respect, belief, honesty and acceptance, you have shown us, you can certainly continue to help you make more positive strides forward in your life.

Just keep believing in yourself, be understanding with yourself and learn from mistakes and keep remembering you're human and that's okay. You'll doubt, question and criticse yourself sometiems, but when you ask the question "am I worth the time and effort I give myself", the answer should always be a resounding YES every time.

You're worth the time and effort and you are a million miles away from being worthless. You have proven through your words, what value and worth you have and it's a lot, it really is. I've come across people that have less than a tenth of the qualities you have. People that are horrible, cold, liers, decievers and basically loathsome and despisable people, in real life and portrayed through the media, so I know the difference between that sort of person and the person you are.

I can say, that as a community, we will look out for you and try to give you as much support as we can, for as long as you'll let us. We ARE here for you and we DO care .

You're someone who has a really, really bright future ahead of yourself and you are a really intelligent, human and inspiring young Lady, who has overcome some very difficult problems and never become nasty, bitter or resentful about how life seemingly kicked you down to the ground a lot, you've just come through it with some strength, courage and heart and a lot of warmth and emotion to give.

So YES!!!! I AM VERY, VERY PROUD OF YOU and I think you're an absolutely fantastic person and I am going to say something you may never have heard or read before, but you ARE a rolemodel. You've shown people what can be done when life looks bleak, when everything seems lost. You've shown people how to live again and live with a lot of positivity to others of that personality type.

So I completely understand you're not used to, or feel perculiar about positive comments to you, but trust me, they will happen more in the future, because I know you WILL deserve them.

We are right behind you and I'm wishing you a lot of GOOD LUCK and best wishes for the future.

This is the start of your new life, this is where finally you find a lot of the happiness life stole from you. Granted it will be hard, but I'm 10,000% confident you CAN and WILL be strong and capable enough, to change your life even more positively than you already have.

WELL DONE again, for getting this far in life and being you. It's a very tough but also inspiring story and maybe many years from now, you may one day find a way to make a book out of it, to help and inspire others that may become like you were.

Not trying to freak you out or anything like that, but with your expressive writing skills and intellect, it could be a thought for the future at some point .

[MissJenaKay]

Boss Man,

Thank you once again for your kind and encouraging words, I don't think you really know what it means to me to hear someone talk about ME in a positive light. I've always been the person ytha advocates and encourages others, it kills me every time I hear of someone wanting to do something that i know will only cause pain and hurt, so I try my best to be the kind of person I wish I had for myself. I've always been the girl that is strong for everyone, the one that will sit and listen, and let someone cry if they need to, hug them if they need it, and give them advice or talk something through if they need it. However, at the same time I feel like I just want snap and cry until I can't any longer just because I felt so alone and so miserable and so hurt. Over the years, thankfully, I've learned to be strong for myself and I've definitely built walls as a way of saying "You weren't there for me before, no one was, and I don't need anyone now." But the thing is, I need people in my life and close to me more than ever. I've gotten better with living life and being able to get more out of it than tear stains on my pillowcases, bloodstains on my sheets, and scars on my heart. However, I just want to thank you for caring, there aren't terribly many people in the world that do.

You think I'm a good writer? I guess I am, but I know that I could definitely be better. Writing is a talent for me, yes, but there are many things about my writing that I want to improve. However, thank you for the vote on confidence and the compliment. I really hope that in the future, I can do something with my words to help people that are going through the horrible things I have. And sadly enough, what I've told you guys is only the tip of the iceberg of the things that I've somehow survived.

Thank you again, you make me think and you make me feel. I'm not sure exactly what emotions they are, but I quite enjoy them.

Jena. : )

P.S. Please pardon any typos, grammar errors, or misspellings. I used my phone to write this reply and when I type on my phone, since the buttons for my key board are so small, I end up making mistakes without even realising it. : /

[Boss Man]

You have no need to ask for a pardon about anything where I am concerned. I think I would be being rude and discourteous to a Lady, if I accepted unnecessary apologies, so I must politely decline.

The main thing is that you have managed to change yourself and challenge what you felt about yourself.

If there are scars on your Heart, they certainly have not affected your ability to express yourself and care for others. It is a remarkable story and one I am honestly and genuinely thankful for you sharing, because it teaches others, including myself, more about people in this world who's personalites and behaviour, may be largely hidden away or innacessible, making them difficult to understand or recognise as people.

There is just so much to like about you and so much to admire about you and whatever your future holds, this community will always care about and support people like you, because it doesn't matter who you are, as long as you respect us, we'll reach out to you and keep reaching out for as long as you wish.

You're one of us now and we WILL try to do our best to look out for you and help you develop your future in a positive way .

So chin up and best wishes .

[MissJenaKay]

Thanks again. I would try to write something longer for you, but I know that it doesn't matter how much you write, it's what you say. So, truly, Thank you. :]

Jena