You're right, the stomach thing could sound a bit silly to some, or one of those, "why do you do that, when you don't need to things".
Personally having read what you said, I understand this is a minor psychological thing you have, that you can get over, but it is you living in your skin, not your husband. He clearly sounds like he's saying what he feels is right and you're certainly not someone, who thinks you'd look better weighing 90lbs, which you wouldn't, so your want to change this a bit, is perfectly normal, healthly and is something you shouldn't feel concern or worry about.
It's another part of you, you want to change for the better. There's no shame in wanting healthy, physical change, it's admirable and more people should do it, for numerous reasons.
So don't ever feel shame about yourself. Making the changes and being slow, steady, patient and not hard on yourself, will slowly develop more acceptance of how you look, which ultimately is a key thing you are striving for.
You're not redefining yourself as someone completely different, that people may hate or not recognise. it's not about new clothes, attitude to people, etc etc, except for how you look, because you have had a few physical issues, but never issues with personality or humanitarian ability, as far as I can see.
So the main thing here is not to be ashamed of yourself. You are clearly from an emotional and mental perspective, quite a beautiful person. Your attitude on here says it all and if anything about you is a reason to feel shame, then we should all shoulder some of your shame, because we none of us are perfect, and have one or two things we look back on wish we hadn't done or said.
However this is not the past, this is the here and now and the transition for you, to a better, brighter future, so don't use your past to judge yourself, use your current efforts to judge yourself.
You're not doing anything in vain, or to achieve something impossible, so don't worry about it for a moment. Just be proud of yourself and proud of the person you are today. We know it's been hard sometimes and in ways good people shouldn't have to know, but it's made you the person you are today, and for whatever bad has occured, I would think it has never changed the person you are inside, which is a very positive thing.
Where others could have crumbled, or reacted badly towards life, you have remained the sort of person you should be, and many others should strive to be like.
You have no shame, except in your head. Use achievement and associated pride to banish shame.
Your family clearly have nothing to feel shame about where you're concerned, you shouldn't either. Neither do we. We are proud of you, are you?

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