C-tina's work out blog!

[rockchick_82808]

Thank u! today i was a good girl and brought a salad and an apple for my lunch today along with a small jello and a cup of raviloi. this morning a bagel with cheese. not sure what to do about dinner. may stop at subway on my way to my job from this one.

[Boss Man]

WELL DONE Christina. I'm really proud of you and this new approach to yourself is really going to be worth it, trust me .

[rockchick_82808]

this weekend was a blast! had a great time. on saturday after the dress shopping (kinda depressed me bc the bridesmaid was the one who had to try on the dresses bc i was too big for their samples. took a lot of fun out it) but we had a great hotel party that nite so that cheered me up. then yesterday we had a great day at the renaissance festival. i did a lot of drinking this weekend to say the least. lol. now its back to reality and have to hit the gym some time today. booo. lol

[Boss Man]

Yes, you get your hiney in that Gym and sweat ALL that booze off missy

[rockchick_82808]

lol! i did and i'm about to leave here very soon to do an hr of cardio, once my mp3 player charges. suppose to go to a party again this saturday! so i need to be on my best behavior the entire week! i don't drink much but i do see a big difference on the scale once i do and i don't want to screw up my hard work.

[fitoverforty]

suppose to go to a party again this saturday!

ah, I remember those days..... well, i don't remember them exactly...but I'm sure we all had a great time!!! thank god my party days were before there were things like facebook and widespread internet....

do an hr of cardio, once my mp3 player charges.

I was in the last 1/2 mile of my run the other day when my mp3 player died....ugh!!! I hate when that happens - was forced to listen to my huffing and puffing for the rest of the way.

[rockchick_82808]

it just isnt the same with out the music. i noticed i don't push as hard. it helps keep me distracted and makes the time go by quicker.
ok so heres what my cardio is like for both cardio days and resistance training days. yes over time this will change but here it is for now. i do 35min on the treadmill at 3.8 - 4.0 no incline arms pumping the whole time. i dont allow myself to grab the bars. then there is this other machine. they call it the cybex arc trainer. it really works ur thighs which i love! i do that with a resistance of 20 for 20min then knock it down to 15resistance for 10min. that machine really makes me want to give up the first 5min it hurts once i pass that...the pain is gone and the adrenaline kicks in. i love it. heres a pic of it :

[rockchick_82808]

it is 6am and i am about to go to the gym! i have never worked out this early in the am before but i have to work at two stores today and then have to open tomorrow so i know i wont be able to go after 10 tonite. so i am pushing myself to go now. i need to discipline myself. i am sick of failing and i have a drive now like no body's business! just try to stop me and see what happens! i now eat a portion of carbs and drink 2 glasses of water every time before i go and soon as i get back i have a couple eggs for protein after my workout. yesterday for lunch i brought in a lot of different fruit and had a muscle milk which is surprisingly yummy btw. the strawberry one is amazing!

[rockchick_82808]

kick ass workout this morning! i pushed hard on the cardio baby! my bf is in the shower i wish i would of ran in b4 he had the chance. lol! i hope to see a good number on the scale friday if not i wont let that stop me i feel on top of the world right now!

[musculArgirl2]

Good for you Christina. Keep it going.

[Boss Man]

i feel on top of the world right now!

GREAT .

[rockchick_82808]

today was weight in...232.4. its strange because on monday i was at 234 again. idk if it was bc of the booze or if it was just water weight i lost at the time idk. but i wont let that stop me. today i wont be able to go to the gym because i am working all day! from 7am until 10pm! then i open the next day and have a 3hr drive to grand rapids for a party. this party i will make sure to only have one drink or none at all and to have a good meal b4 i go. maybe bring my own healthy snack as well. im going to try to change some things. just thought i would update ya guys. time to go!

[musculArgirl2]

you were at 230 or something last week? I have to check so you are up a little bit but like you said you were up on monday at 234 from the weekend so you did go down from the weekend.

Hang in there it will happen!


by the way you must really like your job because there is no way i would do my job from 7 am to 10 pm. Awful!

[rockchick_82808]

by the way you must really like your job because there is no way i would do my job from 7 am to 10 pm. Awful!

lol. only enough to pay for school. it was rough. now i have to leave to go to work to open the store. boo. im soo tired. im just happy i dont have to drive to grand rapids after this. 3hr dive=a 3hr nap! lol

[rockchick_82808]

today i am going to be completely open with everyone. i have been going through a lot of struggles and i figured i will post it because i am sure some one out there can relate and help me. i need some advice from people and maybe some guidance. what i am about to post was intended to be a private msg to bossman but i thought it would be better if everyone saw this because if anyone out there is struggling like i am (not just weight loss relation) i want you to know ur not alone.

today is the first time i have been on here in quite some time. a lot has been going on...go figure. i had to decide to not pay for the gym to help reach my financial goal at the end of this year. with things going on at home i have been back in my ways of eating shit even at work. heres whats been going on.

as you know my dad is no good. last nite i went to visit my grandma and she told me that 2days ago he broke into her house and stole from her. she called the police and the officer told her she didnt have to press charges that day. she told me shes in shock. she doesnt know what to do. i told her she should press charges because of all that hes done to this family. who knows what hes going to do next. she changed all the locks on her house already. shes so hurt because shes done nothing but love him and helped him. in my opinion she gave in too much and because she took it away hes taking things from her to make up for that. he does have a history of violence too which worries me. what ever she decides im behind her. i told her to just not keep me in the dark because if something happens i should be there. ive stood up to my dad all my life and i seem to be the only person that he back downs from. hes lost his damn mind!

with all this going on i have been trying so hard to keep a clear a mind on things to try to still see the positive. for example i will be going to college next friday! instead of being excited i start thinking negatively. like what am i doing? i can only pay for one class at a time why should i bother going? i cant file for financial aid until next may because of my parents not helping me with giving out their information. more than likely i wont get jack for it because no matter how hard i try in life i always get screwed. i could take out student loans but then i'm back in debt. there wont be any break for me not ever.

these thoughts keep creeping up on me which is why i have been eating shit again. i try not to think like this because i want to make my grandma proud and have her see me succeed in life but its so hard. i just get so depressed. i dont tell these things to my boyfriend anymore because the past three years hes had to hear it and i dont want to bring him down with me. he doesnt deserve that. i just feel so alone. i have been trying to talk to my mom more but when i see her all i think about was how shes wronged me and hurt me. i try to block it but it affected me so deeply. i dont know what to do. i feel more lost than ever.

i want to just be able to hold my own. i want to be able to attend school and make something of myself. i want to be healthy i want to afford my own apartment! every time every single time i start to make head way...i get pushed back another 3 steps. i feel like im being punished. i know im suppose to be strong and i have been for so many years but ive had enough of this shit. i'm fed up. no matter what choice i make, turn i take it always leads to disaster. i need some advice on how to get through this.

when it comes to school i have been filling out scholarship forms everyday.
when it comes to work and bills i have been working double shifts and working at other stores to get ahead. for example my last day off was this past tuesday i wont be off again until the 24th! not only am i working 10days in a row but im working a double one of those days. i try soo hard to do the right things to help myself do better but it seems like it just slaps me in the face.

going back to the subject of school. i had to put this class on my credit card by the time i get it paid off in december i have to put January's class on it. i feel like im drowning. im being so open im even gonna tell you my finances. i owe around 1,400 on my card, 3,000 on a unsecured loan, and just above 1,000 on my car. here are my monthly payments for those plus phone and car insurance and rent and fuel total: 659-699 a month
my normal income with out working at other stores:800-850
money left over for food and school supplies and emergencies :141-151

here my dad who has his trailer paid of owns a shit load of electronics and bought a new truck still goes after my grandmother for all shes got. yet i dont ask anything from any one ever! the new computer my gma and aunt paid for for school was their decision i didnt ask em for it they said it was their gift to me for trying so hard and helping them when ever they need it.

yes i have tired looking for other jobs but none are better pay and not as flexible for me for school like my manager is. where i work...they are my family. they have been their for me for so much with what i have been going through. they are my support system. i leave idk what i'll do.

i know i keep jumping from topic to topic but my mind is all over the place right now.

on top of all this that my dad has done...the 1yr anniversary of grandpas death was the 14th.so my grandma is already depressed because that but now scared because of my dads actions. its gotten out of control!

i had to be open to all of you because i know i have followers on my blog and i want to be real with everyone. if some one out there has experienced any thing like this and can give me some advice on how to get through this please talk to me. regardless if its on here or a private msg. you know how much i would appreciate it.