Jena's Journal.

[MissJenaKay]

Fair enough, you think what I said is stupid, that's your opinion .

The main reason for weight loss not happening, is probably down to lack of exercise moreso than diet, so if you are studying a lot and have no time to exercise, then you will end up with that problem.

That's being frank and to the point.

Okay, thanks, Boss.

[MissJenaKay]

I decided to check what I'm eating to make sure I'm eating enough and not too much and all that. c: I feel like it will help me get back into the swing of eating better. c: I need to get back into working out as well.

9:00 am
-- 1 slice Whole Wheat Bread [[Cal 110, Fat 1.5, Carbs 20 - Fibre 4 Sugar 4, Protein 5]]
-- 1 tbs Peanut Butter [[Cal 95, Fat 8, Carbs 3.5 - Fibre 1 Sugar 1.5, Protein 3.5]]
-- 3/4 c Egg Whites [[Cal 90, Fat 0, Carbs 3 - Fibre 0 Sugar 0, Protein 18]]
-- 8 fl oz Orange Juice [[Cal 110, Fat 0, Carbs 26 - Fibre 0 Sugar 22, Protein 2]]

(Yeah, I know it should be a real fruit, not juice)

3:30 pm
-- 2 slices Whole Wheat Bread [[Cal 220, Fat 3, Carbs 40 - Fibre 8 Sugar 8, Protein 10]]
-- 1 slice Fat Free Cheese [[Cal 25, Fat 0, Carbs 2 - Fibre 0 Sugar 1, Protein 4]]
-- 6 slices Turkey Breast [[Cal 45, Fat 1, Carbs 1 - Fibre 0 Sugar 1, Protein 8]]
-- 2 tbs Low Fat Mayo [[Cal 30, Fat 2, Carbs 4 - Fibre 0 Sugar 2, Protein 0]]
-- 1 Low Fat String Cheese [[Cal 60, Fat 3, Carbs 1 - Fibre 0 Sugar 0, Protein 8]]
-- 1 serving Multigrain Wheat Thins [[Cal 140, Fat 4.5, Carbs 22 - Fibre 3 Sugar 3, Protein 3]]

6:30
-- 1/4 c Tuna [[Cal 90, Fat 5, Carbs 2 - Fibre 2 Sugar 0, Protein 10]]
-- 2 tbs Low Fat Mayo [[Cal 15, Fat 1, Carbs 2 - Fibre 0 Sugar 1, Protein 0]]
-- 3 slices Bread and Butter Pickles [[Cal 20, Carbs 5 - Fibre 0 Sugar 5, Protein 0]]
-- 1 serving Multigrain Wheat Thins [[Cal 140, Fat 4.5, Carbs 22 - Fibre 3 Sugar 3, Protein 3]]

7:35 "Workout"
-- 1 mile walk (walked the dogs, they're little so they didn't want to walk any more than that. :p)

8:00
-- 3/4 c Fat Free Milk [[Cal 60, Fat 0, Carbs 8 - Fibre 0 Sugar 8, Protein 6]]
-- 1 Scoop EAS Whey Protein Powder [[Cal 130, Fat 2.5, Carbs 3 - Fibre 1 Sugar 1, Protein 23]]
-- 4 medium Strawberries [[Cal 15, Fat 0, Carbs 4 - Fibre 1 Sugar 2, Protein 0]]
-- 1/3 medium Banana [[Cal 35, Fat 0, Carbs 9 - Fibre 1 Sugar 5, Protein 0]]

10:15
-- 1 serving Whole Natural Almonds [[Cal 160, Fat 14, Carbs 6 - Fibre 3 Sugar 1, Protein 6]]

:: Daily Totals ::
-- Fat :: 51g
-- Carbs :: 184g
-- Protein :: 110g
-- Calories :: 1590

The site says that my calories are split between protein-carbs-fat as 27%-45%-28%
Not too bad, clearly I could eat a little more and get a little more protein and a little less carbs.

[MissJenaKay]

I'm ashamed to say that I've fallen back into my old summertime habit of eating very little and sleeping in way too late. I don't think that there is a day I've been home (save for one when I got up at 8 so I could get around and hang out with a friend) that I have gotten up before 12pm... It's annoying, no matter what time I go to bed, I can't get up early. I feel like it's all those nights at school where I got 4.5 to 6 hours of sleep catching up with me. :/ But it's driving me nuts, and since I'm not getting up early, I'm not tired later, so I'm not falling asleep until 3 or 4 or 5 in the morning. I don't know where this cycle came from, but I do not like it. I've been setting alarms and even swallowed my pride enough to ask my mom to wake me up before she goes to work, but I STILL can't get myself to get up. I don't know what's wrong. I think that maybe since I have no commitments, I don't feel a need to get up early. I need to find a way to get myself up early. Any suggestions?

Also, I've managed two digital paintings lately, they're not that stellar, but they're better than I used to be able to manage.

I would have posted them outright, but they are large images and I didn't want to take up so much space here.

Exhibit A: (it's just an apple and so it has no title)
Apple

Exhibit B: (A cyborg/robot girl... random, yeah...)
Cybernetic

I'm not fully pleased with either of them, there are quite a few flaws that I can see in Cybernetic, but whatever. I just thought I'd show you guys what I've been up to.

[Boss Man]

Nice artworks .

As for the getting out of bed, the simple thing is to put te Alarm clock far enough away, that you can't just whack it off and stay in bed, you'd have to get up and switch it off, or lie there with it making a horrid noise for probably 10 or more minutes.

Maybe that is a simple answer to your problem, though I suspect in your case you'd just say, I'd get up, turn it off then shuffle back to bed or something counterproductive like that

Another mode of attack for this is if your bed has a headboard or is next to the wall; stick a piece of A4 paper to the headboard, or the wall, with the words DON'T GET BACK IN in big letters, so when you get out of bed to whack the alarm off, trying to get back in will cause you to see the message and hopefully you'll respond to it, by staying up and sorting yourself out.

Thoguh I know from past experience, you sometimes have what looks like an aversion to random stuff like this and a reason to seemingly snub it, so I may expect such a response I feel .

Relax, I'm not criticising you, I just know you pretty well right now. You never make things straightforward for yourself. The only things that need to stay in bed for long periods are any hangups you've still got .

Both these things are free to try and unless that is you have absolutely no paper or pens in your house at all and have to buy some, being free and simple to do, they should make a difference to the situation.

[MissJenaKay]

The only problem I have is that it's not that I just hit the alarm off. I don't hear them at all. . . . :/ My phone alarms that I have set even vibrate... I even had my mom try to wake me up and I don't even remember her calling me or anything... :/ :/ There's where my problem is, I don't even hear the alarm even though it's at the loudest volume it can get. I can try putting it across the room, but if I can't hear it when it's right next to my bed then . . . . O-o Well, I have two clocks, maybe the one I had at school is just louder. I'll switch out clocks and see if it helps at all.

[musculargirl]

nice photos jena.

I wake up early but i go to bed early, i've never been that wakes up very good by an alarm so i know how you feel.

[MissJenaKay]

nice photos jena.

I wake up early but i go to bed early, i've never been that wakes up very good by an alarm so i know how you feel.

Thanks. I'm glad I'm not the only person here that has waking up issues. Lol.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/lights/8f1a/

Also, eating a healthy diet and exercising daily will help you sleep better and wake more refreshed.

That clock, way too expensive. Lol. I don't even have 40 dollars for new shoes which I need desperately. I'd give it a try if it weren't so expensive, thanks for showing me anyway.

I know. But when I wake up late, I don't eat enough, and I try to exercise, but since I wake up late, It's evidently not enough. :/ :/ Vicious cycle, I've gotta break it somehow.

You don't have any structure so of course you are not going to get up. Why would you? So what if you do wake up, then what? What do you do then? Sit around and be useless? Go get a job or something. Find someplace to volunteer your time at least. Be useful to society.

If you have a purpose, you will get up and do it, if not, well...

This is exactly what happens to people when they retire - just lay around and shit themselves. Do something.

I'm trying to get a job, but since I get out of school later than the schools back here at home, all the jobs are picked over and there are none.

Besides, I have to have somewhere withing walking distance since I do not have a car and we have no public transportation here. And since I live in a little town, it's not terribly active and most people have cars.

I would do something if there actually was something to do.

[MissJenaKay]

Yup, after only three hours of really terrible sleep on Wednesday evening, and then being up from 8am yesterday (Thursday), to 1am today (Friday) I woke up at 4pm today (Friday). I'm quite pissed about it, but since I got terrible sleep and I was active on Thursday, I can understand sleeping so much. But that means that my sleeping pattern is absolutely screwed. :/ Blah. My eating and exercise has been mediocre at best, I really need to start working harder, but with my sleeping being screwed up, I never have the energy to have a good workout. I'm eating decent, I'm still under eating, but I can't bring myself to eat more for some reason. I just keep forgetting to eat all together. :/ I've gotta get this figured out.

[Boss Man]

You CAN get it sorted Jena and I'm SURE you will.

You just need to keep believing in your ability to get things sorted out.

The main thing is you haven't given up which is something ot be proud of, but it will take time to get the diet and exercise sorted out and yes the exercise should help you to sleep better, as you'll use more energy during the day, which should encourage the body to feel more needing of sleep, in order to re-energise and recover.

Right now you're getting about as many hours sleep per day as a Cow; the only difference being you don't sleep standing up .

I believe in you, so keep believing in yourself. It's not easy for you as we both know, but you CAN do it and regards the eating; it's a case of when you don't feel like it, just convince yourself it's for the best and try to eat a bit more to make sure you're getting enough.

[MissJenaKay]

Right now you're getting about as many hours sleep per day as a Cow; the only difference being you don't sleep standing up .

Uhm, Boss, cows sleep lying down. Lol.

In other news, I tried on that gown that I'm wearing in the only full body photos I have on here and we have both good and bad news, good news, it lies flatter on my lower back, so I've lost some weight in my hips and such, and I can cinch it just a smidgen tighter (It doesn't get any tighter than I got it), bad news, it's not loose around the bust like it used to be. So I've put on some weight in my upper torso. However, at the same time, my shoulders look a little tighter. I don't know. I worked out today and I feel like I'm going to die. :/

[MissJenaKay]

Oh dear god. I'm drinking a Monster Energy for the first time in about a year. This is the worst decision I've made in a long time. I feel jittery and shaky and I feel like I'm going to die. Lol. On the bright side, we went to WalMart today and I got a bunch of kiwis, cherries, and mangos (three of my favorite fruits EVER) and they were pretty cheap! 30 cents per kiwi and only a dollar per mango! c: c: THe Cherries were really expensive though, 3 dollars a pound. Oh well, they're delightful. c: Really short and random update, but whatever.

[Boss Man]

Screw those monster energy things, they're poncy. Thye have ingredients in that are not necessary and then they take out a small amout of Dextrose content and charge about the same as a pure dextrose drink, from my investigations

Frankly, it's the Dextrose that's the main thing you want if you drink them, not one or two vitamins and some herbal content.

You could use Powerade, or Gatorade, or alternatively just use water. Water is free if you get it from the tap, which is fine, because by law water in any public or working establishment should be potable and I would expect the States to be on the ball with that too like we are in Britain.

So when I train I can drink free water, which is fine, as it saves money on bottled stuff.

The workouts might have felt tough, but they will get a bit easier to cope with, when you have done them a bit more.

Keep up the hard work okay and be proud of each session of effort, because it's all those little steps, that can potentially lead to big strides forward in your weight loss .

[MissJenaKay]

Screw those monster energy things, they're poncy. Thye have ingredients in that are not necessary and then they take out a small amount of Dextrose content and charge about the same as a pure dextrose drink, from my investigations

Frankly, it's the Dextrose that's the main thing you want if you drink them, not one or two vitamins and some herbal content.

I wanted to drink a Monster because I missed the taste. I drank it at like 4 in the afternoon. I'd only been awake 4 hours... I didn't need energy. Haha.

The workouts might have felt tough, but they will get a bit easier to cope with, when you have done them a bit more.

Keep up the hard work okay and be proud of each session of effort, because it's all those little steps, that can potentially lead to big strides forward in your weight loss .

How can I be proud when I feel like I'm going to die after a five minute "Warm Up" Haha. Actually, I can never really keep up with the warm up anyway. :/ :/
I really want to be able to have a noticeable difference when I go back to school. But I'm feeling like that's not going to be happening. :/
My mother and father distract me from my goals so bad. They keep buying my favorite sweets. I know they're just spoiling me because they missed me so much. But I can't resist the treats. :/ My willpower when it comes to resisting things that I love is non-existent.

[MissJenaKay]

I'm extremely proud of myself today. c: I made myself a Victorian Cameo choker necklace. I c:

Click
Click

Completely handmade from ribbon, a little bit of chain, a lobster clasp, a cameo, and a setting. c:

In less exciting news, I have an appointment to have a phone session with my therapist. Ugh. I should have just kept my mouth shut about the fact that things were bothering me.

[musculargirl]

Nice necklace Jena! How did you learn to do that from a book?


Good luck with the therapy appt.