Jena's Journal.

[musculArgirl2]

Today I've been doing a lot of thinking and I'm stressing out about my weigh-in on Monday, I'm afraid that I'll have gained or something even though I've been trying to do things right.

Try not to stress about it Jena, i know i feel that same way. Personally though if i gain weight or don't lose much weight I know there are areas i can still improve on in my diet especially. I don't know if you feel that way but i do. It's not all or nothing. If you don't lose this week you can improve next week. This is a long journey we have not a sprint. But we both can do it!!!

[MissJenaKay]

Try not to stress about it Jena, i know i feel that same way. Personally though if i gain weight or don't lose much weight I know there are areas i can still improve on in my diet especially. I don't know if you feel that way but i do. It's not all or nothing. If you don't lose this week you can improve next week. This is a long journey we have not a sprint. But we both can do it!!!

For me, I get really upset when what I'm doing isn't enough. I end up beating myself up about it. I know there's room to improve, but I'd like to make changes gradual while seeing progress. I've always been held up to such high standards that if I don't succeed on the first try it's usually all over and I've messed it up for good, so when things don't go right the first try, I start to freak out. Perfect example, this past quarter I got a B- on ONE paper and I hated myself for a week and I actually cried. I know that sounds extremely stupid, but it's how I feel and how I approach anything.

[musculArgirl2]

For me, I get really upset when what I'm doing isn't enough. I end up beating myself up about it. I know there's room to improve, but I'd like to make changes gradual while seeing progress. I've always been held up to such high standards that if I don't succeed on the first try it's usually all over and I've messed it up for good, so when things don't go right the first try, I start to freak out. Perfect example, this past quarter I got a B- on ONE paper and I hated myself for a week and I actually cried. I know that sounds extremely stupid, but it's how I feel and how I approach anything.

I can't really help you there. I'm the opposite of this. Unfortunatley though with weight loss you do plateau and sometimes you have bad weeks and sometimes their is no method to the madness in when you lose weight. Maybe trying to lose weight will teach you something about youself more than weight loss, like just putting less stringent expectations on yourself. I'm sure stringent expectations will serve you well in most aspects of life but sometimes you have to be more forgiving to yourself.

[MissJenaKay]

I can't really help you there. I'm the opposite of this. Unfortunatley though with weight loss you do plateau and sometimes you have bad weeks and sometimes their is no method to the madness in when you lose weight. Maybe trying to lose weight will teach you something about youself more than weight loss, like just putting less stringent expectations on yourself. I'm sure stringent expectations will serve you well in most aspects of life but sometimes you have to be more forgiving to yourself.

I'm afraid of putting less strict expectations, because if I do, then I may not achieve as well. I have to get everything right. When I fail at something it's the worst feeling ever. Maybe with weightloss I can be a little more forgiving, but not much. Maybe I'm wrong to hold myself to such high standards, but I need to, it makes me work my hardest and everyone should always put in their best effort.

[musculArgirl2]

I agree everyone should put in there best effort. I just meant with weight loss you may need to be a little less stringent because things don't always go according to plan. It will happen though.

[MissJenaKay]

I'll see what I can do, Becky.

[Boss Man]

It's okay to be dissapointed with your B- if you're used to A's, but it's still a great grade and it's what you achieve overall that mattes, not just one grade .

As for the weight loss a good way to counteract weight loss is stress, as Cortisol can contribute to Fat gain and you will sometimes potentially get no weight loss or a bit of gain, but it's about the long-term too and one week of not getting what you hoped for, shouldn't mentally derail you or mean you're going to keep getting dissatisfactory weeks, so keep believing and keep p8ushing okay.

You're doing GREAT .

[MissJenaKay]

A B- is a terrible grade, Boss.

Also, I really want to see progress every week.

[MissJenaKay]

Todays Totals

Calories - 1870
Exercise - 501
Net Calories - 1369
Fat - 52g
Carbs - 244g
Fibre - 15g
Sugar - 105g
Protein - 109g
Sodium - 2472mg

Sugar was very high today, much more so than most days even. I don't like this, I will admit though that I have indulged today on one of my favorite foods ever: P'zone from Pizza Hut, I only ate half, and I have switched from the meat version to one that also has peppers and onions in it with only one type of meat instead of four. Lol. Not much of a consolation, but better than I could have done, this is also a one time in a long time thing. C:

[MissJenaKay]

I've come to the conclusion that I hate people. I'm sooooo sick of being nice to people and caring about people to be treated like shit and insulted at every opportunity.

[Boss Man]

A B- is a terrible grade, Boss.

Yes it probably would feel like that if you're used to A's, but you'll bounce back and as I said, it's about the overall aggregate grades not one grade.

So try not to look on it too harshly. There's probably people regularly getting B-C grades who would kill for a B-, just once.

Also people who insult you a lot, shouldn't put you off being cool with people. Forget those people and concentrate on the ones that think well of you, like we do, but don't let such people turn you into someone you might hate, I.E. a very anti-social, potentially bitchy type.

When you let yourself be, you can be a pretty beautiful person inside, so screw the people that act negtively, because they don't matter and if they change you into a negtive person, they end up winning to some extent.

You're better and more beautiful than those sorts of people, trust me .

[MissJenaKay]

I'm just so sick of being teeated badly, Boss. I don't understand why people ALWAYS take advantage of nice people. It makes me want to stop being nice. So what if they win, it keeps me from getting hurt. Also, Boss, why are you one of the only people that ever sees the good in me and thinks I'm worth the time of day it takes to reply to me? I must not be nearly as good as you think.

Todays Totals

Calories - 1839
Exercise - 669
Net Calories - 1170
Fat - 54
Carbs - 227
Fibre - 23
Sugar - 79
Protein - 117
Sodium - 2355

[musculArgirl2]

I'm just so sick of being teeated badly, Boss. I don't understand why people ALWAYS take advantage of nice people. It makes me want to stop being nice. So what if they win, it keeps me from getting hurt. Also, Boss, why are you one of the only people that ever sees the good in me and thinks I'm worth the time of day it takes to reply to me? I must not be nearly as good as you think.

We definitely think your worth the time of day Jena. I struggle with relationships myself so i guess i feel uncomfortable giving you advice that i myself still have problems with sometimes.

I do know though that your a talented, smart, kind, pretty girl and you have a lot of things to look forward to in life so just hang in there. I would also say you might want to reconsider relationships where you feel treated badly by the person or at least weigh why you are letting them treat you badly.

[MissJenaKay]

We definitely think your worth the time of day Jena. I struggle with relationships myself so i guess i feel uncomfortable giving you advice that i myself still have problems with sometimes.

I do know though that your a talented, smart, kind, pretty girl and you have a lot of things to look forward to in life so just hang in there. I would also say you might want to reconsider relationships where you feel treated badly by the person or at least weigh why you are letting them treat you badly.

Thanks, Becky. I let people treat me badly because I don't ever want to hurt anyone. I can't live with myself if I hurt someone. I never want to make anyone feel the way people have made me feel.

In other news, my life might fall apart any minute as I'm at the mercy of someone that is angry at me as to whether or not he tells my parents something that might get me disowned.

[musculArgirl2]

n other news, my life might fall apart any minute as I'm at the mercy of someone that is angry at me as to whether or not he tells my parents something that might get me disowned

Nice guy it sounds like. (I'm being sarcastic) I wish i was full of advice but i'm not i don't knw what to tell you. I'm sorry.

I do know we all do things we regret or are stupid. Things we'd rather our parents not know about. and really as adults a lot of stuff i don't think is necessary for your parents too know about. I hope this guy keeps his mouth shut.