Jena's Journal.

[musculArgirl2]

I just snacked on sugar snap peas

You seem to love those sugar snap peas. I honestly don't think i've ever tried them. If there like peas i probably won't like them.

I'm trying to figure out how I'mm going to do my eating and working out at school.

School will be hard to adjust too. But you can figure out a way to make it work.

[MissJenaKay]

You seem to love those sugar snap peas. I honestly don't think i've ever tried them. If there like peas i probably won't like them.

I LOVE them, and to me they don't taste like pease, more like fresh green beans, but sweeter and juicy. You eat the whole pod and everything, they're amazing. c: I vote you try them sometime.

School will be hard to adjust too. But you can figure out a way to make it work.

I will, plus, there I have a gym to go to.

[Boss Man]

One day of not eating eounhg won't be really detrimental to your weight loss, it's probably a bit better than eating way too much anyway.

Your university has good eating options and a Gym, so I'm sure you will make things work for you.

Much as though someone telling you to stop complaining about things, might sound a little harsh, in fiarnes it's kind of a salient response, because vocalising frustrations is okay, but if it gets to the point where berating yourself for something or other, becomes an almost daily act, it just ends up being defeatist, because it doesn't facilitate progress, unless it promotes relisation about shortcomings, that you can then use to overcome them

You know things like I don't do X, I should do Y, help to address problems that can be overcome, but if it turns into I hate X; I wish Y wouldn't frickin' happen; Z, sucks, then it becomes frequent ranting that can't serve a purpose, because it isn't very likely to help you address shortcomings.

Let's face it however many times people complain to others about waiting in a queue, or being kept on hold for long periods on the phone, it won't do much to affect your abiltiy to be first in queue, or get faster phone reponses.

So I can understand sometimes why you want to explode, and criticise many things about you and the world around you, but letting it simmer should focus the mind more and hopefully promote more positivity within yourself, because you'll realise not everything you loathe about life and the world, remains loathsome, because it depends on whether it's a national issue, or something occuring within your own personal circumstances, because if it's the latter, the problem is most often temporary, as opposed to things you put up with like many others and have little control over, I.E. healthcare standards, transport infrastructures etc.

Whatever you feel sometimes that's negative, you'll get more understanding with time, about what is destructive or constructive and learn to keep more of the destructive feelings down, by rationalising them, or putting them into a better context.

I hate waiting for buses that are late, especially if it's cold or raining, but I rationalise it, by knowing I don't live somewhere where there's 1-2 buses a day, or maybe even a week and I still feel a bit knarked sometimes when they're late, but I try to be mindful of what I just mentioned.

Don't feel bad at all for feeling what you feel sometimes. Just learn to understand it more and reassess how major or minor those feelings are.

Right now you're doing pretty great all things considered and you're making slow but steady progress, so chin up and keep believing okay .

[MissJenaKay]

Okay, today was a horrible day for eating and exercise, however, I did go shopping and I got a haircut Proof It's so short! Lol. But I like it, I hope I don't end up regretting it though since I was trying to grow my hair out. xD We see how well that turned out. I also went shopping, I got two new tops and two new necklaces. c: My grandmother also took me to lunch, however, breakfast and lunch were the only things I ate today. I woke up too late to exercise before my grandmother got here so... I didn't exercise, I under ate, but I feel wonderful. c: I think it's okay. Lol.

Annnnyyywayyyy.

TOTALS

Calories - 810
Fat - 45
Carbs - 65
Fibre - 6
Sugar - 4
Protein - 39
Sodium - 1610

Sooooo, I need to get back on this. I will though, tomorrow will be productive, I promise! I read your response boss, I'll reply to it tomorrow though because I'm too giddy right now and I can't sit here and concentrate long enough to respond. Lol.

[MissJenaKay]

Today was weigh-in. I've lost another mmeasly .7 pounds. Oh well, better than nothing, I bet it would have been better if I didn't under eat so badly two days in a row and worked out yesterday and didn't eat out. Well, I worked out I guess with all the walking I did yesterday. Also, for all I know, that .7 pounds could just be from me cutting off a lot of my hair. Haha. Anyway running total is now at 6.8 pounds.

[musculArgirl2]

.7 is good! Going in the right direction that's all that matters.

[MissJenaKay]

Thanks, Becky.

In other news, I'm starting to really regret cutting my hair. I feel like I look like a boy from a lot of angles. It's making me sad, I've gotten to the verge of tears twice now. I don't know why I cut it so short anyway, I wasn't planning on it, but I wanted to do something new and found a picture that I liked, asked them to cut the fringe like it, the girl didn't even get the fringe right, but I caved to cutting it short like in the photo. I should have kept my hair long. I feel like I looked a lot better that way. . . . Oh well, no one notices me anyway, so does it really matter what my hair looks like?? Probably not.

[musculArgirl2]

Jena, I think you look pretty in the photo. Forgot to mention that when i posted last. I'm working and i have to post inbetween things so i do it quickly.

[MissJenaKay]

No problem, Becky, I think I look like a boy. :c All the girls I know keep telling me it's cute, all the guys I know keep telling me they liked my long hair better. I don't know. I just wish I hadn't cut it.

[feelin-great]

I think it looks great, but I know how you feel, I have done it before too many times to count! Just remember, it is just hair and it will grow back

[MissJenaKay]

I think it looks great, but I know how you feel, I have done it before too many times to count! Just remember, it is just hair and it will grow back

Well, I've cut my hair short before Exhibit A And I loved it when I cut it back then... I don't know what's so different this time around, I mean my hair is a little shorter, but back when I cut before it was nearly shaved in the back and a little longer than it is now in the front. I don't know what's so different about this cut that makes me look like a boy. . . Also, I know. I was just trying grow my hair out. I mean, I wasn't trying to get it back to the length it was in about my sophomore year (I could sit on it.) but I wanted it longer, because I missed being able to do things with it. Also, I felt prettier with long hair it made me feel more feminine. I don't know. I feel like I'm never pleased with my hair though... Probably because the styles I think look good require you to have slightly damaged hair to get the right look, but my hair is super healthy... Lol. I like haircuts like these



so, I tend to like the more extravagant looks (the first one is kind of tame, but still I like it.), and your hair generally can't be super healthy for them to work in these styles. I don't know.... Oh also, the last two are a boy. (The same one, he just does his hair two different ways. He's the vocalist for one of my favorite bands and I think he's very attractive. Lol.) But yeah, I never go out on a limb though because I'm so scared that I'll look horrible and other people's opinions of course have an influence. . . I'm a huge sucker for the really out there hair cuts, ones that are super piecey and edgy are always ones that I love, but I can't get haircuts like those because I value my hair being healthy and other people's opinions of me too much . . .

[fitoverforty]

I like your new hair cut! It really flatters your face. My gosh you have beautiful eyes! I always wanted green or blue eyes, like my mom and sister have.

I don't know what's so different about this cut that makes me look like a boy. . . Also, I know. I was just trying grow my hair out. I mean, I wasn't trying to get it back to the length it was in about my sophomore year (I could sit on it.) but I wanted it longer, because I missed being able to do things with it. Also, I felt prettier with long hair it made me feel more feminine.

I do understand what you are saying here. When I got my hair cut short last year, I swear EVERYBODY loved it, everybody except me...I could not see what they were seeing, all I could focus on was how short it was and how much out of my comfort zone I was.
You definitely do not look like a boy - you have a very feminine face, great bone structure. You may be associating femininity with long hair because for ages and ages we were all taught that women have long hair, men have short hair and that if you don't have long hair you aren't "pretty" or "feminine" enough. In my experience most guys like girls to have long hair, it's just bred into their "man genes"...lol...but you know what? who cares what they think! I'm just saying, that your hair looks great at this shorter length, healthy and shiny. But if you decide to grow it back out longer because you are more comfortable with it, then that is the right thing for YOU, not because of what anybody says or thinks. But for now, give it some time, it takes a while to adjust to any sudden change in appearance. It really does look cute.

[MissJenaKay]

I like your new hair cut! It really flatters your face. My gosh you have beautiful eyes! I always wanted green or blue eyes, like my mom and sister have.

My eyes actually change colours. Haha. They were green yesterday when I took that photo, today they are a grey-gold colour. It definitely makes life interesting. c:

In my experience most guys like girls to have long hair, it's just bred into their "man genes"...lol...but you know what? who cares what they think!

I do. Lol.

I'm just saying, that your hair looks great at this shorter length, healthy and shiny. But if you decide to grow it back out longer because you are more comfortable with it, then that is the right thing for YOU, not because of what anybody says or thinks. But for now, give it some time, it takes a while to adjust to any sudden change in appearance. It really does look cute.

Thanks, I appreciate it. Maybe it'll grow on me (haha hair pun) and I'll like it more a little later, but as of right now, my goal is to grow it out.

[MissJenaKay]

I finally have a free minute to reply to you, Boss

Positivity and I seem to not get along. I used to be a very positive, happy person, but I don't really remember HOW to be positive if that makes sense. I try to be positive about things, but I seem to only be positive about very little in life. Any ideas as to how I can "learn" to be more positive?? I don't really mean to be so negative and destructive, but I know I am. I'm not sure how it starts, but it always happens, I'll find one little fault and then I seem to get almost obsessed with it and I fixate on it and add to it by thinking of the other negative things that I hate or aren't going right and I can't get it out of my head. I poke and prod at it until I'm in a horrible mood. I don't know how to stop from focusing on the bad things, because it's just so natural for me anymore. I have a feeling it stems from my need to be as close to perfect as possible. I'm expected to be perfect, so when I see the flaws or that things aren't right, it makes me very upset. I'm not sure what to do for it. :c This is a fairly short response, but I really don't know what to say.

[fitoverforty]

Maybe it'll grow on me (haha hair pun)

That's funny!!!