Christina, yes sometimes people do replace bad things with substitutes. one addition for another, or in your case cutting with food.
Would it be prudent to compare you to the impoverished 3rd world people, to highlight all that is better about your life? Possibly, but I won't do that now as I don't see it will be of much importance right now.
As for how you eat and live. If you can't use the Gym, find alternatives okay
. Do it at home with bodyweighted stuff or things like that and keep the food good. Try not to give in to food and try not to let it start to rule you again.
You need to keep believing that things WILL work out for you. I know it's hard and I completely empathise with you. You are such lovely, lovely person and when you smile it is incredibly touching and whilst things seem difficult they are no impossible.
You need to stay focused on every aspect of you though. The studies and espeically your health, because you don't want your health to be a hinderance to your studies, because you struggle with sitting down for long periods of time, or take a few too many days off with sickness, because your body isn't strong enough to fight infections.
I feel your anguish I really do, but at the same time I never fail to see the beauty in the real and candid honesty of words like yours.
I want to tell you, I AM INCREDIBLY PROUD OF YOU for being strong enough to write all that and for not giving up on yourself. You really can be such a beautiful young Lady, when you let that part of you come out Christina and I will let you know that as always, I will try to be here for you where possible, whatever happens.
I'm sending you a BIG HUG
and letting you know you DO have the power to be an aamazing peson and by remembering what you ARE worth and what you CAN achieve, you will find the way(s), to do it.
Don't stop believing in yourself and don't stop loving yourself in the way you deserve to. You CAN take a few positives from all this I'm sure and learn from it and become stronger.
Shapefit will always, always be a home from home for you sweetheart, for as long as this site exists. We all think so much of you and we all want you to succeed in life and I will support you 10,000% in every decision you make.
So GOOD LUCK with everything, including the studies. Don't stop believing that the person you CAN be, can be even more superb and valuable and precious than you are already. Take heart in all the qualities you possess inside and treasure them and let them grow each and every day, because you CAN touch people a lot with your words and beauty and as for your Dad, he is a dick for not realising how lucky he is, to have people like you in his life.
Shame on him for being so cowardly, ignorant and weak and your Mother for being much the same. You are a million times the person they are and you deserve to feel like it too. So be proud of the inner you Christina, because you have earned that right
Your Grandmother and Aunt are so lucky to be touched by someone like you.
GODO LUCK again and WELL DONE again for posting what you did, I'm bursting with pride for you right now, for being so strong and candid.
You are pretty amazing and BEAUTIFUL