My brother, who is my role model, totally let me down recently and I'm kind of in shock.
My brother has always been big, as in biceps-bigger-than-his-head kind of big, and really strong, able to bench press his body weight 20 times without stopping, and all kinds of stuff. When we were kids he started boxing, then bodybuilding. I saw him bulk up, lean out, and get ripped. Throughout college we mocked him for being so irritable when he was studying, and so rude and abrupt in conversation, we kind of thought it was funny because we were used to him being so sweet. All the while I knew he was only working out 3 times per week, and somehow he was enormous. We would do the same workouts, he would work out with his friends, but no one ever came even close to being as big and strong as he was. I completely idolized him and wanted to be just like him.
Anyway, I hadn't seen my brother for months because he was away for work, and when he came back and I saw how big he was, it smacked me in the forehead: my brother is on drugs. There's no freaking way he looks the way he looks training 3x per week, with our genetics, and no drugs. He saw that I was doing CrossFit and picked out some of the most muscular guys and said, "What does he do?" and I said, "CrossFit." To which he replied, "No... but what does he do?", like he couldn't believe that the results were legitimate - that everyone must be cheating, just like he was. It made me so mad! I felt like a complete idiot for not noticing before.
There was a time when I probably would have shot right up with something if someone at the gym had offered it to me, but I would never do that now. I never want anyone to look at me and think that I cheated, and to have them be right. I'll never talk to my brother about steroids, but I definitely know that I will do my best and if I don't look like Wonder Woman at the end, I'll enjoy being healthy and fit, and get over it. My whole personality is based on my idea of who my brother is, and it's not even real. What the hell, hey? I still love him, but my world is kind of rocked by this. It's amazing how your idea of someone can totally change the way you see them, and make you ignore a lot of things that are right in front of you.
Would you ever use steroids, testosterone, or anything else like that to get the physique you want? Personally I just think it's kind of shallow. Do your best, be healthy, be fit, and enjoy life. At the point that I would use an illegal substance to cheat and make faster gains, I would really have to question what the heck I was doing and for what reasons.
