Jocelyn's Food Journal

[musculargirl]

I can't ever imagine my mom calling me fat or telling me I look pregnant!

I think you have to know my mom and my relationship to understand her telling me that. Were pretty close and she can be brutally honest I guess. sometimes a little too much. But she also would be the first person to compliment me if I lost 20 pounds too.

I think everyone is around people that have a way of getting to them. Be it whoever. So I think everyone can understand your issues with your mom

[Boss Man]

Her opinion doesn't matter. The opinion of people that notice and care matters, the ones that don't noticed or say bad things don't matter. Unless you lived in a community where everyone was a total ass, then maybe it would matter a bit, but otherwise don't bother with it.

You know how she makes you feel sometimes, so that's part of the system of change. You don't just adapt physically throughout something like you're doing, you adapt mentally and emotionally.

If you don't create some sort of symbiosis of the three, you will struggle to achieve, because one or both of the non-physical aspects, will potentially spoil all you have achieved.

So it is a key thing that whatever she does or doesn't do, that she could or shouldn't do, shouldn't be taken in a highly negative way. You accept her lack of tact, attention or whatever you see it as and move on.

The problem will arise, if you start to let every moment build and build to a crescendo of negativity, as one day you might then explode and frankly if you want to succeed, do you need someone elses gratification? Sure it might help a bit, but realistically, the end results are your gratification, if you feel better, you look better, because you know some of the things you have tried got easier, or became things you could do with more effort and /or capability and maybe even a doctor gives you good news, about some of the physical readings you had some time back on a medical, then you have gratified yourself.

The negativity can bleed you dry of positive feelings. People, places, situations etc etc, that are negative and too frequent, will have a prominent effect on someones mental and emotional state, the more they happen and the less positive things, people and places that can be factored into your life.

The rewards you can get from your undertakings, are worth so much more than one or two measly plaudits, you have been hoping to solicit from someone that chooses to withold them.

Keep surrounding yourself with people that give a stuff and ignore those who say nothing, or worse say bad things. They latter people only matter more, if you let them matter more and they take away a litle bit of you, which only serves to devalue you as a person, when you can't properly feel the way you want to feel, about yourself and what you are trying to do.

Keep pushing for what you want, keep the positive people close and the others not-so close, then you have a good emotional and mental platform to progress physically.

You're worth and deserve that.

There's definitely more good things to come from you. Just keep on keeping on and don't stop believing in yourself okay .

[feelin-great]

So we got together for my mom's birthday last night and my sister (not the one with her mouth wired shut) knew how much my mom's ignorance had made me feel bad so when everyone was sitting there after dinner she said "Did everyone know that Jocelyn has lost over 17 pounds in the last two months, doesn't she look amazing?" And my mom once again replied "did you know Joel lost 30?" ARGGGHHH!!!!! Jessica started to say something to defend me and I told her not to worry about it, that I am not going to let her get me down. My mom got really defensive but I just told her (very calmly and relaxed) that I am not going to let her get me down. I told her that I feel great about what I have accomplished and if she can't see that then I don't need her to, that I am going to succeed with or without her support. It felt really good because I actually meant it!

Last night dinner: Chinese - lots of brocolli and mushrooms with a little bit of chicken and rice and then two bites of german chocolate cake

[Nokie173]

I think moms will always be moms. They say things and they don’t realize that it hurts people. I struggled with my mom all the time even now. I remembered when I was about 13-14 years old and 130lbs. She said I was fat!!! She tends to compare me to her friend’s daughters… they were under 100lbs with long black hair and cleared face! I mean… calling me fat wasn’t enough but called me pimple face too (my older brother too) So yeah… eating fried chicken to comfort myself didn’t help and forced myself to throw up was even worse… most of my friends in middle school was doing it…. LoL (Young and naive I was!!!) Even today… my mom thinks I’m taking diet pills or throwing up my food (not being sick) When she cooks and I don’t eat, she think its disrespectful. If I eat a little she thinks I’m starving myself or her food is not good. If I eat a lot, she thinks I’m fat and don’t’ know how to control myself… either way… it’s a losing battle for me. Now… I bring my own food when I visit her and only eat if she steam some fish and veggies! She is starting to accept I’m watching what I eat… so now there’s always salad when I visit her…. But It’s a long struggling battles when it comes to moms…. I was sick this past weekend.. I puked her food… she thought that’s how I lost weight!!! LoL… ohwell… I told her im sick so she ended up making me rice porridge!

You’re doing a good job and keep it up. You have a good attitude and continue to keep that. That’s what going to push you to your goals!!!

[feelin-great]

Yeah, I guess mom's will be mom's Same goes for families in general - they always seem to sabotage my diet without even realizing it. I used to get upset with them but I am pretty sure they are just naive. They know how hard I am trying to lose weight and they are all supportive (well, most anyway!) but they are always trying to get me to eat things I don't want or know I shouldn't. I have told them over and over just to not offer me dessert, if I want it I will get some when it is being served. But they continue to try to get me to eat it! But I think they are starting to realize how serious I am. Also, their idea of a healthy meal is chicken smothered in cream of mushroom, cream of chicken, sour cream, and topped with croutons and baked for an hour with a cheese biscuit on the side and canned vegetables. But it must be healthy because it's chicken, right! (dripping with sarcasm )

You know, I can't say enough how much I appreciate the support on this site! I have had numerous times over this past week where I have almost given up but then I log on here and it pushes me to keep going

Today so far:

Breakfast: protein shake and banana (still working on getting my butt out if bed early enough to make breakfast)

Morning Snack: LF string cheese and 14 whole natural almonds

Lunch: two slices whole grain bread, deli turkey, LF cheese slice, 1 tbsp mayo, handful of grapes (after my sandwich I had a sweet craving and the Girl Scout cookies were staring me down - my neighbors weren't home last night so I haven't gotten rid of them yet - but my will power persisted and I grabbed the grapes instead )

More to come...

[Fygle]

I see a lot of you guys eating string cheese, what's the deal with it? I don't think we have this where I live.

[feelin-great]

Hey Fygle - not really sure how to describe string cheese It is like a stick of cheese that you can pull apart a little at a time, it kind of comes off in strings.

Yesterday's afternoon snack: 1 cup celery with 1 tbsp peanut butter

Pre-workout snack: string cheese

Workout: 30 minutes elliptical and 30 minutes recumbent bike - I increased each by 10 minutes from what I normally do. It felt really good! But after the recumbent my knees really started to hurt, they still do this morning a bit. I am not sure if this is normal for a recumbent or if I am doing something wrong, maybe I don't have the seat situated correctly? Hopefully this doesn't continue. I already have bad knees (I used to be a skydiver and it wreaks havoc on your knees!) but haven't had issues in a couple of years. Also, I have a really hard time with my right foot when I use the elliptical, it goes numb. Does anybody have any suggestions on how to keep this from happening?

Dinner: Chicken breast with brown rice and sauteed red and green peppers, zucchini, and mushrooms

It felt good to get back to working out, I feel like I haven't enough over the last week!

[Fygle]

I have to be really careful with my knees. I had to quit soccer when I was just 12 years old because of it. After I turned 30 and got a reality check, I decided to start eating better and working out. I used to eat pretty much only crap, hamburgers, hotdogs, chips and beer with a movie was standard in the evening, without moving from the couch. I wasn't overweight (high metabolism), but I'm sure I was what people around here call skinny-fat So I started jogging, and hard! I soon realized good shoes and a soft start was going to be the way to do things. My knees were destroyed and I had to take 2 weeks off work TWICE in a couple of months because I pushed myself way too hard. Since then I have sloooowly built up my training intensity, with success! I'd start with only biking, then I'd do short jogs every now and then. Now I can jog every other day if I want to without any problems, probably because of strengthened muscle tissue around my joints.

I don't know if this is helpful in any way, it just came to mind when I read about your problems. If you have just recently started working out, it may be a good idea to ease into things, even though I know it's really hard to hold yourself back when you have set yourself a goal

[feelin-great]

I have to be really careful with my knees. I had to quit soccer when I was just 12 years old because of it. After I turned 30 and got a reality check, I decided to start eating better and working out. I used to eat pretty much only crap, hamburgers, hotdogs, chips and beer with a movie was standard in the evening, without moving from the couch. I wasn't overweight (high metabolism), but I'm sure I was what people around here call skinny-fat So I started jogging, and hard! I soon realized good shoes and a soft start was going to be the way to do things. My knees were destroyed and I had to take 2 weeks off work TWICE in a couple of months because I pushed myself way too hard. Since then I have sloooowly built up my training intensity, with success! I'd start with only biking, then I'd do short jogs every now and then. Now I can jog every other day if I want to without any problems, probably because of strengthened muscle tissue around my joints.

I don't know if this is helpful in any way, it just came to mind when I read about your problems. If you have just recently started working out, it may be a good idea to ease into things, even though I know it's really hard to hold yourself back when you have set yourself a goal

Thanks, that's good to know! And it definitely is hard to hold myself back! But maybe I will try to ease back on the recumbent a little - they have been bothering me a little bit after each use but since I increased the time last night it really got to me. Maybe I will do more on the elliptical to make up for it. Thanks for sharing!

[feelin-great]

Today's meals...

Breakfast: protein shake and banana
Morning Snack: small kiwi and 14 almonds
Lunch: two slices whole grain bread, deli turkey, slice LF cheese, 1 tbsp light mayo
Afternoon Snack: 1 cup cucumber, LF string cheese
Pre-workout: Either a protein shake or string cheese (not sure what I have left!)
Dinner: Chicken breast and probably will steam some frozen veggies or sautee some fresh veggies

Tough day for food, I have been hungry all day so I am eating everything earlier than I should. Don't know what the problem is (my guess is the boredom from work). Good thing I don't have more food or I would eat it all right now!

Tonight's workout:
50 minute Jillian Michael's Banish Fat Boost Metabolism DVD

[Nokie173]

Tough day for food, I have been hungry all day so I am eating everything earlier than I should. Don't know what the problem is (my guess is the boredom from work). Good thing I don't have more food or I would eat it all right now!

I personally think you're not eating enough...
It's ok to have a larger breakfast... add some carbs in there?
Wheat toast? Oatmeals? High fiber cereal with some protein shake??
Try to have some protein for morning snack? (Scramble eggs or HB eggs???)
For string cheese.... try to wrap some turkey deli around it for more protein??

[feelin-great]

I personally think you're not eating enough...
It's ok to have a larger breakfast... add some carbs in there?
Wheat toast? Oatmeals? High fiber cereal with some protein shake??
Try to have some protein for morning snack? (Scramble eggs or HB eggs???)
For string cheese.... try to wrap some turkey deli around it for more protein??

I'll be honest, I am having a hard time getting myself to eat more - my brain is still programmed to say that I won't lose weight if I eat more! I am scared to increase my calories too much because I have been doing so well losing weight that I don't want that to change. The sad thing is that what I am eating now is already a slight increase from what I have been eating for two months. A couple of years ago I did Weight Watchers and I did lose weight, but it was based on a lot fewer calories than what this site tells me to eat. I really don't know how many calories, though, because it was the points system.

As for the morning meal - I know I need to do better with that, I am just really struggling to give myself time in the morning. I generally grab the protein shake and banana and eat when I get to work. One of these days I will get myself up early enough!

[Nokie173]

Funny thing is…. One of my coworker did weight watcher too and is programmed to eat very little. She was struggling to lose more … in order for her to lose she would have to eat even less to nothing at all (NOT HEALTHY)

They started her out with 1,100 calories (she counted both points and calories)
She lost a lot but got stuck at 145lbs.
For 2 years she kept eating 1,100 and not losing anymore and she even does yoga… until I told her she is starving herself. She didn’t believe me at fist because she gained some weight….say… I think she mentioned 152 that’s months ago tho (Her body wasn’t use to it) … now she is 141. (She has energy to run, do yoga and weights) So… she slowly increased her calories and added more lean proteins & raw veggies in her diet and now she is actually losing!!!

(Im happy for her same time envy her… I am stuck while she is losing… it just shows we all have different body type!!! )

I know it is hard to get it in your head… but keep in mind… you need to feed your body to give it energy to function properly. Just watch out of the things you are eating… Increase on the good stuff and eat less to nothing of the bad stuff!

[feelin-great]

So instead of adding all of those calories at once, should I slowly add them in? I think I was probably eating around 1,100 as well. This site has me at around 1,768!!! Should I just add in some each week until I work myself up to that or is it best to just start eating it all right away - believe me, I wouldn't mind! But I also don't want to gain a bunch of weight.

[feelin-great]

add in about 100cal/day each week. Make sure you get a balanced number from each fat carb and protein and that they are all from the right kinds of foods! (Eating mm's will definitely increase the count, but from the wrong source!)

So based on what I have been eating, what do you think I need to add more of, protein, carbs or fat?