Boss Man wrote:As for me, I don't always feel good about things, but I largely try to see the positive in most things. What I said to you is not a marshmellow thing , but something I felt at the time.
Though I know that cannot happen really, but if it could it would have been true .
Boss Man wrote:Ultimately you need to do what is best for you, but I can't help thinking that you could improve your life so much, if you could find a way to overcome some or all of things you have had to know and feel and see thme differently in some way.
I hope that somehow you can, because I don't think you fully realise just how amazing you could become in the future and you are a very talented artist and a very intellectual person and it proves that you have value and ability and things to build foundations of your life with and you DO have a chance in life to progress and do well.
Boss Man wrote:I can't tell you what confronting fears, hurt and other things from your past would ultimately do in the short or long-term, but sometimes it may be necessary to take a leap of faith, in order to learn, grown and be stronger and better for it.
MissJenaKay wrote:I don't take leaps of faith. I refuse to, because it never ends well for me. :/ Thanks for everything, Boss. As always, you say such nice and encouraging things. I really wish that I could just act on them, but I can't. I hold myself back and I know that it's my own fault.
Boss Man wrote:I know it's a once bitten twice shy scenario, but if you have as much love as you profess, even for those who have wronged you very badly in your past, then you must have enough love for yourself, unless you are giving too much to others at your own expense, in which case don't do that, because their lives won't fall apart if you choose to care a little less, to decide to stop giving anything to the wrongdoers and save it for yourself.
Boss Man wrote:Moving on is something you MUST do to let yourself heal. To believe that certain positive steps cannot work out in any circumstances, is a hinderance, because they can for others and you're no different .
Boss Man wrote:Sooner or later you will have to increase the amount of people you are willing to trust, because not all people of authority, older age or status, are only interested in furthering themselves and not you.
Well educated proffessional people who work to help the mind or body, can sometimes be negligent or corrupt, but many are not and you can fear therapists, Doctors, mind coaches etc, all you like, but the vast majority don't want to make things worse, but to make things better.
Think of it as public speaking or stand-up comedy. Theoretically You get less nervous the more you do it.
Boss Man wrote:So I know you could really feel bad, having to confront some very dark episodes in your past, or things that made you feel embarrassed, but the more you learn to change your relationship to those feelings in positive ways, the more you could improve your chances of changing yourself positively too.
I know you want to feel like it's self preservation. Care for all and risk little to nothing, but I believe you can change and can learn to overcome what you have felt and experienced before now.
I believe so much in you, and your potential to move on and I know you can move on more, even if you cannot yet see it for yourself .
If you ever feel the slightest inkling to tackle anything you fear to speak of head on, please, please don't hesitate to PM me and tell me how you are feeling or what you are regressing about .
I will ALWAYS be on your side sweetheart, ALWAYS .
Boss Man wrote:I never promise anything to anyone, because I know there's that 0.1% chance it could be broken, but I can guarantee you that I want the best for you in life, though I know I can't guarantee to give you your deserved life back, the happier kind of life you have always deserved, but I've experienced enough of you and your commentary on your life and dreams and hopes and wishes to know, I can try my best to help you find more of the person you deserve to be and help you to overcome some of the things you have experienced in life and if you ever feel even a 0.1% urge to let me, don't hesitate to talk to me privately, because I'm not a mind coach, therapist, psychoanalyst or anything like that and I won't intentionally embarrass you or shame you, so please do talk to me if you can even feel the slightest compunction to talk about even 1% of the darkness in your past, you think you will never be able to deal with.
Boss Man wrote:You're still talking to us here and still trying to make a difference to your life and not giving up on yourself and I want you to know, I'M VERY, VERY PROUD OF YOU Jena and you should be too, because when you want to be, you really can be a little shining star and a beautiful one as well.
MissJenaKay wrote: I really wish I could work on the things that I don't like, the things I know are holding me back. But I really don't want to. I really hate feeling afraid and/or nervous so I avoid the feelings at all costs. I don't feel like stepping outside my comforts is going to help at all.... I don't see how forcing myself to work through and think about the things that I never want to think about could help.
Boss Man wrote:In my neck of the woods / world, you have lost nearly a stone, (14 lbs), so that in my reckoning is a great milestone to have reached. I am so, so pleased for you and proud of you for getting this far, because in some ways, moreso in the past, it has been a struggle, but finally it looks like you are starting to make some good steady headway.
Hopefully soon enough you'll be able to start, if you haven't done so already, wearing some slightly smaller clothes.
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