Have a great time in the coming weeks. You deserve it
You look great by the way, you've given yourself a really grown up and feminine look about you, since you've adapted your appearance slightly
Whatever happens in the coming weeks, I know you can make inroads into your weight issue, but I know it will be a little difficult to stay focused, during what for many is often a period of laxity, in regards to things like eating, but I know you can do this, if you put your mind to it and I am very proud of you for never giving up and believing the way you are is the way you will always be, because it doesn't have to be like that.
i know you don't externalise some of your inner slef as much as you have done in the past and I know you say, that is not down to simply more emotional achievement, but moreso you choosing to to externalise as much, but I think there must be some kind of emotional and mental improvement, in relation to how often you choose decry your life and its downsides and I personally think you have made some progress in how you express yourself and that in part may be down to you actually starting to get physical progress and better rationalising life choices that affect it, instead of approaching certain things with an "I can't" mentality.
I'm sure you'll have your own thoughts on this as to whether you agree or disagree in part or in full and I won't say that the maelstrom of emotions you've developed in your life, will become less fluctuating and more controlled in the near future, but I sense there is a little more calming about you as a person and I think you're discovering more ability to find happy moments and more ability to recognise when you have done well and can be proud of yourself.
It's been a hard year for you and it's not been always easy to read about how you feel or your expressions of your inner self, but I have never stopped finding a sense of courage, heart, strength and beauty from your words, because many people would not find the attributes needed, to write about a difficult past and so they wouldn't.
It's to your credit that you have managed to detail some of what you have experienced in life and go through and though it's undoubtedly hard to write it for sure, I want you to be proud of letting us know how you feel and for being brave enough to talk to us
That thing you said to me privately some weeks ago, (which I will not disclose publicly for privacy reasons), that you thought you could never externalise, gave both of us a challenging exchange and it may have made you feel pretty negative at the time and feeling like you would not get any positives out of doing it, but again I was so, so proud of you for facing down a very hard and difficult experience you'd gone through and I mean that so much, I really was so proud of you Jena and yes I knew it was arguably one of the hardest things you'd ever done in your life, but it was such a beautiful and brave thing to do and I admire you immensely for it sweetheart I really do.
No matter what you think of yourself or indeed me for that matter, I know the person you can be sometimes, that supports and looks out for people on here sometime is a part of you that can become more prominent as time goes by and you will learn to see that part of you as something that can be projected outwards a lot more often.
There is only one Jena Kay that I know of and I know you have made progress physically, mentally and emotionally since you first came here and you have my undying admiration for that, because you proved me right, about how I thought you could become a more progressive person that could positvely change to some degree, no matter how long it took.
You are one of those people I knew was always going to be a difficult person to help and support and could be a potential waste of my effort, if you just said screw you and left, but I never stopped believing in you and I won't stop that, unless you do it to me first.
I know your life isn't perfect, but as long as this site exists, with any luck, you will always have me in your corner, to shout at, rant at, talk to, let go of hurt with, ease pain with, laugh with, smile with, continue to learn with and just be as flexible and adaptable to you as I think I can be.
So I want to give you my guarantee that I will be here for you when I can be and I want you to try and take a little or as much time when you can, to be here for myself and others too, so we can help to give you that added "X" that I think you deserve in your life to help you change the things about you you don't like.
WELL DONE, for simply making it this far, seriously WELL DONE, because a small 0.1% of me on one or two occasions, thought you'd give up on yourself, tell us all thanks but no thanks and disappear, with no way of us knowing how good or bad things were progressing.
You DO have it what it takes to progress further, you just need to know that and believe in it to some degree even if you don't completely believe, because some belief will help you to not give up
So I'm sending you another BIG, BIG HUG
You are part of our community and our extended family of sorts and I want you here with us for a long time to come, sharing in our journeys and having as much of our strength, positivity and humanity as you can, because you ARE worth it and you DO deserve it.
THANK YOU again, for the heart, humanity and compassion you've given to a few people and for trying to respect and understand those of us, that reached out to you and just gave you the space to be you, it means a lot and I hope 2012 will be the best year of your life and hopefully the happiest and most successful year of your life.
Together you and us the community, will work to help you find and get more of the life you should have had and richly deserve and I want you to believe that because we will do that and of course that includes me
Chin up, keep smiling and best wishes and YES that is a beautiful picture of you and it highlights the person inside, that you ARE capable of being