Jena's Journal.

[musculArgirl2]

You can still choose healthier options when you have fast food though?? True?? They have salads at mcdonalds and stuff?? Losing this weight is the hardest thing i have EVER done!! I said this in my profile already but i've ran marathons, i've been in boot camp and in the military and i graduated from college and this takes the cake in terms of how i feel like it's never going to happen. It feels overwhelming. I truly mean that. Especially right now with temptations everywhere it seems.


Maybe try baby steps. make small goals. That is what i'm trying to do. Think how nice you will feel when you arrive in Europe even 20 pounds lighter! I'm right there with you Jena. I've even lost about the same amount of weight as you. We both can do this!

[MissJenaKay]

If we had a McDonald's at the mall I'd definitely be chossing salads, but we don't. We have a Friednly's (which is a sit down place that takes too long for my lunch breaks), Burger King (which I don't know if they serve salads or not...), Arby's, A chinese place, a pizza place, and a place that sells an assortments of deep fried things. I always have Arby's. I don't know if they serve salads. I'll have to check. I know Arby's itself serves them, but I'm not sure if the mini-arby's at the mall does.\

As for the mini-goals. I'll be excited for any concrete progress. I get a pound off, a pound on, two off, one and a half back on. My weight isn't going anywhere. It's pretty much exactly the same.

[MissJenaKay]

My not boyfriend boyfriend wants me to go to a doctors for a dietary consult because I've been complaining to him about how crappy I feel about myself and how nothing I do works. But I hate doctors and I hate talking to them about my weight more than anything else because I'm sick of the idiots assuming that I'm fat because I eat a lot of junk food and sweets and all that. I don't know what to do, I mean, it would be a good idea if I didn't hate doctors and if they weren't all such asshats, but that seems to be how it goes. What do you guys think??

[musculArgirl2]

I went to a doctor and they didn't really tell me much more than i already know to be honest. They basically said they could prescribe weight loss drugs and i spoke with a nutritionist. I don't even know if i'm going to go back. Haven't decided.

the truth is for me i know i haven't done all i can to lose weight. It's been half ass for quite a long time.

I don't think you have either. You were losing last summer and fall when you really tried. It's up to you.

[Boss Man]

Does the work have lockers? If so you could make some things and keep them in a tupperware container and then leave your stuff and your lunch and snacks in the locker.

Why not workout with the friend? If they don't workout, they stil should, even if they are slim, because being slim isn't healthy necessarily, as slim people can still be prone to thin bones, and high blood pressure and cholesterol, depending on their physical state.

Working out on work ays is still feasible, so addressing it is one thing, now you should make it easier to do.

[MissJenaKay]

Hey y'all. It's been a while. I didn't do bad for Christmas. In fact, on Christmas day and the day we had family Christmas at my grandparents, I underate. . . Well, I'm planning on once I get back to school, I will workout much more often since I only have classes two days a week. In news that is not related to my weight really, I'm getting really strong feelings for a guy back here at home and it's freaking me out because I don't want to fall for anyone since it ALWAYS ends badly. He's extremely sweet, but I'm still not willing to take chances on getting hurt again.

Does the work have lockers? If so you could make some things and keep them in a tupperware container and then leave your stuff and your lunch and snacks in the locker.

Why not workout with the friend? If they don't workout, they stil should, even if they are slim, because being slim isn't healthy necessarily, as slim people can still be prone to thin bones, and high blood pressure and cholesterol, depending on their physical state.

Working out on work ays is still feasible, so addressing it is one thing, now you should make it easier to do.

No, work didn't have lockers or anytihngl ike that, so I tended to avoid taking my coat or anything with me.

As for working out with my friend . . . Uhm, too awkward. I hate working out with people unless it's at a gym where we can both completely focus on our own thing.

As for working out, I'm lucky if I've been home for an hour other than the time I've been sleeping.

[MissJenaKay]

I've decided that I'm not going to weigh myself until Friday to give myself a chance to regulate myself out after the holiday shtuff. Because I did have some cookie things made with puffed rice cereal, dates, nuts, butter, and sugar and something else that I can't remember. I'm going shopping today with Kevin (the guy I'm not dating but falling for pretty hard.)

[MissJenaKay]

9:40 Wake Up

10:00
- Cinnamon Toasters Cereal with 1/2c fat free milk (I'm out of yogurt. :/) [[Calories 175, Fat 3.5, Carbs 30.5, Fibre 1, Sugar 16, Protein 5, Sodium 205]]

12:00
- 1 Light String Cheese Stick [[Calories 60, Fat 2.5, Carbs 0, Fibre 0, Sugar 0, Protein 8, Sodium 230]]

1:20
- 2 slices white toast with peanut butter [[Calories 215, Fat 9, Carbs 27.5, Fibre 2, Sugar 3.5, Protein 7.5, Sodium 295]]
- 8oz Fat Free Milk [[Calories 90, Fat 0, Carbs 13, Fibre 0, Sugar 12, Protein 8, Sodium 130]]

[musculArgirl2]

Hopefully it works out with your not boyfriend but boy-friend. You never know. Happy your having a nice break.

2 classes next semester will be a nice for you!

[Boss Man]

The thing is though you might be afraid of getting hurt, but it all depends on how you look at the possibility of you and him.

Right now, do you think having to move for long periods of time to study in another place, would strain a relationship? If so don't do it.

Does he give off any possible signals that might indicate he might be reciprocal to the idea of you and him? Has he started displaying any differing behaviour, or talking about you, or using descriptions of you in a different way to usual?

If so then there might be something there with real milage.

If he was someone looking possibily to progress to some form of commitment, assuming there was anything or you both to start with, could your current life circumstances make it viable? Could you potentially see yourself living with him in 2 years from now, or would that not be possible?

If so, then don't do anything.

Being afraid of getting hurt is understandable, especially from past experiences you must have had, but if you gave such circumstances the same thought processes every time, would you ever be able to commit to anyone?

So there are circumstances to weigh up, but I personally would say, don't outright shun the potential existance of anything between you and him, but to weigh it up rationally, explore your current and near future circumstances and his current behaviour to you and behaviour, personality and attitude in general and then avoid or enter into a relationship with a more considered approach .

[MissJenaKay]

Hopefully it works out with your not boyfriend but boy-friend. You never know. Happy your having a nice break.

2 classes next semester will be a nice for you!

Thanks for the well wishes dear. I wish I only had two classes though. I still have four, I just have them all on two days, so I have class from 9am till about 9 pm with a a couple breaks in between. Mondays and Wednesdays are going to be VERRRY busy, haha.

The thing is though you might be afraid of getting hurt, but it all depends on how you look at the possibility of you and him.

Right now, do you think having to move for long periods of time to study in another place, would strain a relationship? If so don't do it.

Does he give off any possible signals that might indicate he might be reciprocal to the idea of you and him? Has he started displaying any differing behaviour, or talking about you, or using descriptions of you in a different way to usual?

If so then there might be something there with real milage.

If he was someone looking possibily to progress to some form of commitment, assuming there was anything or you both to start with, could your current life circumstances make it viable? Could you potentially see yourself living with him in 2 years from now, or would that not be possible?

If so, then don't do anything.

Being afraid of getting hurt is understandable, especially from past experiences you must have had, but if you gave such circumstances the same thought processes every time, would you ever be able to commit to anyone?

So there are circumstances to weigh up, but I personally would say, don't outright shun the potential existance of anything between you and him, but to weigh it up rationally, explore your current and near future circumstances and his current behaviour to you and behaviour, personality and attitude in general and then avoid or enter into a relationship with a more considered approach .

Oh, golly, beleive me Boss, we've talked a lot about the idea and we are really close and spend a lot of time together and we might as well be dating, but I'm just too scared to actually take it to that level. I could see myself being with him, he treats me so amazingly he tells me I'm gorgeous and tries his best to help me with all of my problems, even when I'm in such a hurt and surly mood that I cut at him and get so angry. I'm just so afraid to commit and let the feelings I have for him gros into anything because I'm almost certain that this will end badly. Relationships always do for me. I've been thinking about all of it for a while, and I really want to date him, but I don't want to get hurt and also, he has a few friends that I absolutely hate that hate me back because of rough history I've hafd with them. Perfect example, he and I went to a diner with some friends for a friend's birthday last night and the couple of his guy friends that I can't stand were there and they were harrassing him and making disgusting comments about me and him all night which made everything really weird and so we left early. I don't want him to have to put up with that all the time because of me. And quite frankly, I don't want to deal with it either. I'm not sure what to do. It's a matter of what will make me happy for now and the slight possibility of the future versus what is easier for now and most likely easier for the future. :/

[Boss Man]

Well then perhsps discuss the possiblity of his dumbass friends. discuss whether they are true friends, because they forced him to leave early. He must have felt bad that they were giving you and him as well some serious stick and why would he want to be friends if they treated him poorly as well.

He made a statement by leaving with you, not sticking with them and being blazé about their behaviour, as if you were blowing things out of proportion.

He showed you some loyalty and that's a good thing and you have expressed his behaviour to you as being of a very good standard.

So maybe you have positive reasons to move forward with him then?

[MissJenaKay]

I do have positive reasons, but a lot of fear and "what if"s that won't leave me alone. We also talk about his friends and he says that he only hangs out with them if there's no one else and he didn't even know they were going to be there last night otherwise he wouldn't have asked me to go with him. I'm just afraid that I'm going to get hurt....

[Boss Man]

However, it could be the best thing in a long time and even if it wasn't meant to last, several months or a few years down the line, you'd be more mature to cope with it, espeically if it ended amicably and not in some kind of ranting or accusational kick you where it hurts scenario.

It's like I said, if you feel something for people and are open to persuing it, then to let the doubts and fears in could spoil things in the future and leave you a lot older and regretful.

I cannot tell you to jump straight in or keep a million miles away from it, but you need to think about any possible regrets of not doing it and whether you are now in a better more grown up place to deal with it or not, which perhaps you weren't last time you might have had something with someone that ended.

You deserve to be made to feel good about yourself and he might just be the person to do it and if you feel better, then your outlook regards work, studies, exercise and food might change a little more for the better too.

[MissJenaKay]

I've decided to streamline the things I track for things in order to make it easier for me to keep up with. I will write down what I eat for each meal, but I will only give Calories, Fat, Carbs, and Protein per MEAL, instead of per item and I will only add in sodium and break down the crabs in sugars and fibres as a Whole day thing. Hopefully that will make writing my trackings on here seem less like a chore. I'm also going to start tracking my water better if I can...

So here we go.

8oz servings of water - 2

9:00 Wake Up

9:22
- 1 Bagel with <1 tbs cream cheese
- 8oz fat free milk
[[Calories 340, Fat 5, Carbs 56, Protein 18]]

12:23
- Chicken sandwich on whole wheat with 1tbs mayo and a slice of American cheese
- 2 oz baby carrots
[[Calories 365, Fat 19, Carbs 34, Protein 17]]

2:22 (I'm pretty awesome at eating right on 22s today xD)
- small non fat vanila frozen yogurt from Yogen Fruz
[[Calories 100, Fat 0, Carbs 22, Protein 4]]