I used to be really skinny (only 49 kg) and that made me feel bad. Now I am not too skinny, but shapeless and kind of fat. It makes me feel bad. So, I don’t think I have bigorexia since I am not distorting my reality. I’m just too anxious and obsessed because it’s not what I want. The problem is that it directly interferes with my life.
I would like to keep my weight where it is now or maybe increase it a little bit, but mainly burn fat. I know people who reduced their waist and also gained weight. I will feel great if I can reduce my waist and keep my current weight (not lose any muscle).
If you choose to do a cutting phase, stick with a very clean diet and up your cardio to 45-60 minutes per day. If you want to do a mass phase, then cut back a little on your cardio and really hit the weights hard.
In terms of your mental “bigorexia” issues, this is very common with people involved in bodybuilding. My recommendation is to try your best to focus on the task at hand (diet/training) and don’t get too discouraged. Stick with the plan and it will work, it just takes time. Do not compare yourself to others. This will only lead to issues down the road. There will always be someone bigger, stronger or more ripped than you are. Try to find happiness in the journey and you will find ultimate success.