I realize that women are much more conscious about their weight than men are. Although it is a predominant situation in our society, I had an epiphany recently that resulted from my research of top weight loss blogging websites. The lists were dominated by women in 2013 and then again in 2015. It’s time to explore this topic.
The rules of society are very simple, men expect more of woman than they expect of themselves. Women are supposed to look gorgeous, be ready in five minutes, and look the other way even though their man isn’t meeting the same expectations. Really? And all of this after their bodies change due to pregnancy and aging. These are the same people who spend hours shopping for bras and a lifetime experiencing the discomfort of wearing them only to lose the battle to gravity. I won’t get on my chivalry pedestal, however these efforts deserve not a little, but a lot of recognition. Get her door, get her chair, and stand when she leaves and approaches a table. It’s the least you can do to acknowledge her efforts on your behalf. Rules are rules. Compassion is golden.
You can’t change the rules but you can see the opportunity within them. I am a perfect example, having learned the lesson both the hard way and the easy way. Some of my products such as my movealongs hang tags are for providing a clue to stupid drivers. You can’t fix stupid and although my “gentle reminder” signs bring a smile to people’s faces, they have done little to clear the left lane of traffic hogs. The same goes for my weight loss. I have seen the opportunities offered to me by being fit. Surprisingly, they are not always positive opportunities. Some are actually turned off or intimidated by a muscular body. There is an easy way around this. I offer them a smile which breaks down any negative feelings and generates a smile in return. Still, in the same manner a toned body generates interest, it will also create tension. That’s the subject for another article. We are focusing on the rules here.
So why is it that there are so many weight loss blogs by women? Why does the phrase BBW (big beautiful woman) pop up on so many dating sites? The topic is complicated. The answer is simple, women want to be confident with their looks. Their looks are important in attracting a man. So men, should we accept this? Absolutely. Here’s why. Whether she’s fit or not, she wants to be attractive to you. She is trying to impress you. She has made the first step to reaching her goal. She’s trying. Men, you can try too because most don’t and therefore that means less competition. We will address both subjects.
Women want to lose weight to look good. Even a BBW wishes she was more fit. In reality, it’s not a cop-out. It’s a temporary situation. We all have within us the ability to control our lives as well as our weight. It is more difficult for some than others. This is where you need to discover your inner self. Fitness isn’t just about building outer strength. You must build inner strength first if you are going to succeed. Some must be thinking, “Easier said than done, especially for a man.” I don’t get it. Here we have the much stronger sex admitting weakness. I’ve never given birth so I can’t imagine the pain level. The point is, if you can handle that, you can handle anything. As men, we try to ignore the pain and be tough too. Both sexes have the ability to lose weight yet fear the pain. Guess what? It was more fun than painful for me. Surprised? You shouldn’t be. Fitness is a reward, not a punishment. Still, the same ability to overcome pain can be put to use in an effort to become fit.
In the same way women go to the bathroom together, they have formed a support group for weight loss. The number of weight loss blogs prove this. Don’t look at this as a fault, view it as an advantage. There are a lot of people in the same boat as you who are willing to help. They could be complementors, or in my case as a fitness blogger, they could be competitors. One of the best secrets to success is to know your competition better than they know themselves. This includes knowing their strengths as well as their weaknesses. There is among both the sexes a competition of sorts. Understanding this competitive tendency will improve your fitness quest. You can leverage your competition as much as those offering support. After all, there is that fit chick at the gym that just pisses you off. Really? And where is it written that you can’t exceed her level of fitness? It isn’t written anywhere except in your own, personal drive which you have control over. Take control.
There aren’t that many weight loss websites offered to men. In the same way that we don’t stop for directions, we don’t need help in losing weight. Really? Well, I smell opportunity and lots of it.
Here’s a little story for you men. It sounds egotistical because it is. My suggestion to all of you is to look past the ego and see the value in the results which were apparent when the women flocked to me over the other men at a recent singles gathering. I enjoyed it as I had worked very hard to stand out. Admit it, you’d like that too. Instead of fluffing my ego, I wanted to understand the situation I had observed. As it turned out, I had three advantages, two of which I could control. I was better dressed, looked younger, and was toned.
Of those three, looking younger is the hardest to control. I’m lucky that at age 53, I have hair and it’s not grey. My skin is not wrinkled or should I say as wrinkled as it could be. In general, the rules of society are more accepting of baldness and grey for men than women. Again, we are being cut a break that is not offered to women. Thanks babes. If you can’t control the aging process, let’s just move on to the things that you can control.
I’m going to address fitness before I talk about clothing. There is a very simple reason for this. Your body dimensions determine how you dress. Whereas my shirt was tight to my body and hugging my flat stomach, the others wore large baggy shirts that were still stretched tightly across their pendulous midsections. Shirtsleeves hid further fat whereas mine rode high above my toned, muscular arms. My tan competed with peaked complexions. I Googled “peaked complexion” to make sure I had spelled it correctly and “sickly” popped up in the response. Color indicates life in a human being. Ghostly white is reminiscent of a corpse at a funeral or a winter spent hibernating. It’s an indication you spend more time on your couch than outdoors.
I had other traits that appealed over my competition. My muscles were ripped beneath my clothing and my shoulders had definition. My pectorals were perky and rounded. They had replaced the moobs (man boobs) that once pointed at the floor. Boy, does this guy have an ego! Yup, and you expect her breasts to be perky and her booty to be tight. Give me a break. Give back that which you ask. The rules don’t allow women any breaks. See the advantage? Get fit and break the rules. Distance yourself from the competition. Don’t be a pathetic weenie that expects a break. Be a strong, confident man who appeals to a lady.
As for clothing, those adjacent to me wore silly plaid patterns and although the shirts were clean and collared, the style lacked any way to make someone stand out. I came dressed for success with slacks and a stylish shirt. I broke the grandpa mold of those similar in age to myself. I portrayed an image of a younger man. I didn’t look old and tired. Whereas most men seek this in a woman, they don’t expect it in themselves. Therein lies the secret. I had lowered my number of competitors by looking and dressing younger. I was in control of my situation. Men, it’s time to take control.
By now you may think I’m putting men down. I admit that I am. I’m putting my former self down as much as anyone. For years I was fat and unappealing. It was disgusting. I didn’t like myself and I don’t like my former self. I like me now. It has made a world of difference in my confidence and happiness.
I would like to get back to the subject I mentioned earlier about the negativity experienced due to my fitness. I walked up to a pretty lady in a bar and started talking to her. Her first words to me were, “You wouldn’t like me. I don’t workout.” I came back with, “I didn’t like me so I started working out.”
In order for others to like you, you must first like yourself. Once this happens, you will portray an air of confidence that draws others to you. Again, the size and muscles of a fit body can generate tension. A smile breaks it down immediately. People are drawn to happiness in the same manner they are to confidence. Like yourself and be happy. Fitness is a great way to do both.
Many have had success breaking the rules. Others have had success by realizing the opportunities that they hold. Men will always expect women to be thin and women will always strive to appease that desire. You can’t control other people’s desires. You can, however, control your own life and physical appearance. So, start taking control today!