Help:Girlfriend won't talk to me

Teenagers and kids discuss your fitness concerns here.

Moderators: cassiegose, Boss Man

Post Reply
senior13
STARTING OUT
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Apr 15, 2013 4:34 pm

Help:Girlfriend won't talk to me

Post by senior13 »

I was gentle as possible. I asked her if something was going on and if she wanted to talk to me about( i thought maybe she was comfort eating. I told her that I loved her and that I always will. I told her that because I love her, I am concerned about her, her weight, and her health. I told her that I wanted her to be around for a long time and that that won't be possible if she keeps doing what she's doing. I told her that the decision was hers and that I can't make her change but i reiterated that, as her boyfriend, I worry about her. I told her I would help her if she wanted me to. I used to be heavy and I got a similar talk from parents and it helped immensely. I wanted her to be completely honest and if she was happy then I'm happy. She responded by saying that I didn't love her, that I was being mean, arrogant, and making fun of her. She left. I texted her and called her but she won't respond. This morning before school I went to her locker like I always do but she just walked away. What do I do?
User avatar
Boss Man
SITE ADMIN
Posts: 15439
Joined: Sat Nov 25, 2006 3:27 pm

Re: Help:Girlfriend won't talk to me

Post by Boss Man »

You reiterate your stance.

You remind her that caring is not making fun and that offering to help is not making fun and that worrying about her is not making fun and that when she's ready to see your actions for what they were, not what she thought they were, then you will be there for her and you will support her, but hse needds ot be made aware of the true nature of your intentions.

I'd give her a few days though, to let her actions sink in. Don't crowd her by constantly trying to touch base again and if she has the alone time to think about how she reacted to you, then maybe she will realise what you were trying to do and she will touch base with you.

Ultimately though it boils down to you not being able to force her to change, she's got to want to and you can't blackmail her and say it's either me or the fast food that goes, what's it going to be, as that may not work too well, because she might not be the sort of person that is a dab hand at pleading and begging and finds it alien to her nature, so she then might choose the food over her, because then the food is seen as something that isn't problematic, unlike you, with your ultimatums and supposed mockery of her and nagging of sorts, as she'll see junk food as not a problem, when it tastes nice and makes her happy.

I'm sure in time there's a chance she'll understand you, but I think you'll need to give her space without you, in order for her to come to her senses.
Trish0102
SOCIAL CLIMBER
Posts: 92
Joined: Fri Jan 04, 2013 12:41 am

Re: Help:Girlfriend won't talk to me

Post by Trish0102 »

It is normal for girls to react when criticized about their body and weight. But try to further explain to her what you really meant and I am sure, in the end she'll eventually understand that you just care and wanted what is best for her.
User avatar
Boss Man
SITE ADMIN
Posts: 15439
Joined: Sat Nov 25, 2006 3:27 pm

Re: Help:Girlfriend won't talk to me

Post by Boss Man »

That was posted 4.5 months ago, so I'd expect there to be some kind of conclusion to it all by now, whatever's happened :wink:
toddhicks209
SOCIAL CLIMBER
Posts: 89
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2015 5:01 pm
Location: St. Louis, Missouri

Re: Help:Girlfriend won't talk to me

Post by toddhicks209 »

It was wrong for you to imply to your girlfriend that you would leave her if she did not stop being overweight. Love is supposed to be unconditional.
Post Reply