Keeping track to keep on track!

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fiona18
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Keeping track to keep on track!

Post by fiona18 »

Ok, starting weight 19 stone :x
Weight I want to lose in 2013 5 stone
Remainder to lose in 2014

How I plan to do it ... do at least 30 minutes on the wii fit mostly/every night and watch what I am eating ... at first see how I go ... eventually refine a plan!

Workout today was a mix of steps and hulla hooping which used up 235 calories.havn't actually cut down on the food as yet ... aiming for proper start 1st January.

At the very very very least I wish to be fitter ... I am pre diabetic and keep having episodes where blood sugar brings me down, palpatations and feeling like I am going to die. i sleep raised on pillows cos the fat on neck feels like it will cut breathing off ... not a good place to be! especially as I am stay at home mom and have to be the one to set the example!
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Boss Man
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Re: Keeping track to keep on track!

Post by Boss Man »

I hope that you can do this for you and for your offspring and if there is anything we as a community can do to help, please just ask and we will try what we feel is our best for you.

I'm sure you can do this, so GOOD LUCK and keep remembering that you ARE worth it :).
fiona18
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Re: Keeping track to keep on track!

Post by fiona18 »

Boss Man wrote:I hope that you can do this for you and for your offspring and if there is anything we as a community can do to help, please just ask and we will try what we feel is our best for you.

I'm sure you can do this, so GOOD LUCK and keep remembering that you ARE worth it :).
Thanks very much :)



Well, I have made a proper start saying as it is New Year, and am 3lb down and burned off 200 cals on the wii today.
husband left us yesterday for good so this is a total new start for me.
fiona18
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Re: Keeping track to keep on track!

Post by fiona18 »

I'm feeling rather down tonight so thought I would write up a little bit about me etc.
Well I am in early 40's with a toddler, single mother - health wise: pre diabetic which does go as weight drops, it's a total weight thing with me that and I have high blood pressure.
I put on all this weight with pregnancy, before that I had lost 5 stone so I am used to all this, but don't seem to have the heart as much this time round, which is why I havn't lost any of this weight in over 3 years and have gained!
I suffer from depression and anxiety and find it hard to go places, do things etc and also have some physical problems due to a broken finger that has made hand quite weak and useless .. I also suffer from pain and cysts since i had a c-section .. so all in all I am a bit useless! I often go to do things and end up breaking things, or simply cant manage it, which is very frustrating.
I get out of breath easily and at times It just feels like I am constantly on the verge of a major panic attack.
I get name called when I go out which is terrible considering I am always with child. I fear she'll be bullied at school if I still look like this, cos I am an older mother as it is, she doesnt need a fat old one.
So that's basically where I am at - fat, unfit, no husband, feel ugly and couldnt get much lower.
I'm currently wearing size 24 and tbh maybe I could actually do with a 26 :? But aim is UK 14 and i have a ton of clothes waiting for me in that size!

But as they say the only way is up! I am not altogether despairing, I have hope because I have lost alot of weight before and gotton fit and know I CAN do it again, it is in me somewhere!

Just on a side note, I feel husband actually treated me the best and we were at our happiest when I was slimmer. I feel weight has a lot do with the breakdown of everything and his behaviour towards me.... maybe. He used to say he had never seen me wear such good clothes, how I had started straightening hair and wearing make up, I must have felt like a new person to him! .. hope now i smy daughter can get that excitement and pride from me losing all this weight and being a fit mummy.
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Boss Man
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Re: Keeping track to keep on track!

Post by Boss Man »

Firstly, I'd like to say that you are a million miles way from being useless, you really are :)

It takes a certain amount of courage and heart to admit to all the things you admitted too and I don't see a lot of sadness in words like yours, I see some beauty, optimism and hope :).

Not giving up on yourself is a key ingredient to success. You touched upon what you see, as sometimes sliding into a depressive state and for some that inevitably goes only one way, but you are seeing a more positive future for yourself and one where your daughter can have more of the person, they already DO deserve in their life and the sort of person I believe you WILL become :).

Your husband to humble way of thinking, chose wrongly. To leave you for how you looked is wrong. To leave because a person changes who they are on the inside and becomes difficult to live with and slowly develops a negative personality change over time, is something else.

I don't think you're someone, just from your words alone, that would have become a difficult individual from an emotional perspective to live with and I don't think you are someone that has developed an incapacity to show much human emotion. I think that inside of you resides a person capable of much sunshine and positivity and that your physical circumstances have suppressed that somewhat, as opposed to being someone naturally lacking in such emotional richness.

One of best things you can do, is to recognise that you are that person with that inner potential and not a broken damaged psyche, that cannot mend. The healing process for you, comes not just with addressing your physical side, but the way your mind thinks about you as an emotional person and how you think you are capable of expressing emotion.

I empathise with you, that when you feel in some kind of depressive state, you may not exactly believe, that you are capable of exuding much positivity as a person, even when not in such a state, as depressive behaviour will often overshadow peoples emotional potential, which is very understandable and not thinking well of yourself in such circumstances, would not be a weakness of yours, but symptomatic of the way your circumstances control your freedom to think.

Your courage to speak of your difficulties both past and present, eludes to a certain beauty, that I don't doubt exists within you and it's that quality that will with time, be something that can rise to the fore more and be some form of guiding hand in the way you think about and treat others, not least you and your daughter.

Being an "older Mother", to me should have no bearing on what people think, as age should not factor into the way(s), in which normal, required care quality is administered to a child and whilst unfortunately some people must obviously use age to judge you, they are wrong and shouldn't do it.

I have read enough about you upto now, to know that I don't think for a minute you are going to seriously let your daughter down. Infact some of the best parents are single parents. Sometimes the lack of the second influence is better, because that person may be a highly negative or simply inadequate influence on a child or children, that is counterproductive to the other parents actions.

This statement should be taken as a generalisation however and not a specific description of your Husbands' attitude to your daughter, as it would be crass to make any form of judgement based on 0% evidence.

I think you WILL succeed, because I believe as you say, you have done this sort of thing before and you believe in yourself that it is possible.

So I don't want you to think of yourself as useless, I want you to be proud of yourself :).

Proud of admitting all these problems and difficulties and proud of not giving up on yourself and talking about yourself like you are worthless, because there is a difference between useless and worthless and not necessarily being any good at stuff, doesn't mean you have no value.

So you should be proud of yourself and you know something, I'm really proud of you, for the things I said and you have barely shared any time with me on this forum, except the time since you joined the other day, but you've given me enough reasons through your words and expression, to believe in you, be proud of you and want the best for you.

You're not broken or damaged, you're just someone that has lost some of their ability to shine and express more inner beauty. I know you'll find those things again and be the sort of person, I whole-heartedly believe you CAN be and DESERVE to be and I wish you so much luck trying to find that person :).

You ARE worth it and so is your daughter, so chin up, be strong and no worries okay :). If you want this as much as you seem to, you'll make this happen and you'll prove to your daughter what a strong, independant, empowered Lady can be and as for the husband, I'm sure you'll find that inner strength to go on without him and prove that you don't need him to be a wonderful Mother and a wonderful influence on your daughter and if she grows up to be not as you might have liked, don't judge yourself too harshly, but remind yourself that outside influences and TV, play a part too and sometimes with the best will in the world, good people can't be perfect and can't always raise the best kids, but if you do what I believe you CAN do, you'll have every chance of being someone with a child they can be proud of :).

It's good to see you starting to take those first positive and important steps to a better future and a better you and we as a community will support you for as long as you want us to :).

WELL DONE on being brave and strong enough to talk about your problems and issues and GOOD LUCK again. You CAN do this, I'm sure of that :).
fiona18
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Joined: Thu Dec 27, 2012 7:49 pm

Re: Keeping track to keep on track!

Post by fiona18 »

WOW just want to say that reply is most appreciated! Thank you :)
Boss Man wrote:Firstly, I'd like to say that you are a million miles way from being useless, you really are :) Thanks!
It takes a certain amount of courage and heart to admit to all the things you admitted too and I don't see a lot of sadness in words like yours, I see some beauty, optimism and hope :). Thanks again! I think admitting things come with age, I couldnt when I was young.
Not giving up on yourself is a key ingredient to success. You touched upon what you see, as sometimes sliding into a depressive state and for some that inevitably goes only one way, but you are seeing a more positive future for yourself and one where your daughter can have more of the person, they already DO deserve in their life and the sort of person I believe you WILL become :). Thanks, and I hope youre right.
Your husband to humble way of thinking, chose wrongly. To leave you for how you looked is wrong. To leave because a person changes who they are on the inside and becomes difficult to live with and slowly develops a negative personality change over time, is something else. He didnt really leave me for how I look, theres loads more to it than that and this was supposed to be a working back together situation :cry: , I was 15st when we met 13 yrs ago ,and he's known me as a slimmer 12 stone , which is when we got married, to 19 stone, but you hit the nail on the head a bit I do have a negative personality these days, not about everything but I think stress plays a part and also thinking things are going one way when reality shows they arent is hard to cope with.
I don't think you're someone, just from your words alone, that would have become a difficult individual from an emotional perspective to live with and I don't think you are someone that has developed an incapacity to show much human emotion. I think that inside of you resides a person capable of much sunshine and positivity and that your physical circumstances have suppressed that somewhat, as opposed to being someone naturally lacking in such emotional richness. Youre spot on
One of best things you can do, is to recognise that you are that person with that inner potential and not a broken damaged psyche, that cannot mend. The healing process for you, comes not just with addressing your physical side, but the way your mind thinks about you as an emotional person and how you think you are capable of expressing emotion.

I empathise with you, that when you feel in some kind of depressive state, you may not exactly believe, that you are capable of exuding much positivity as a person, even when not in such a state, as depressive behaviour will often overshadow peoples emotional potential, which is very understandable and not thinking well of yourself in such circumstances, would not be a weakness of yours, but symptomatic of the way your circumstances control your freedom to think.

Your courage to speak of your difficulties both past and present, eludes to a certain beauty, that I don't doubt exists within you and it's that quality that will with time, be something that can rise to the fore more and be some form of guiding hand in the way you think about and treat others, not least you and your daughter.

Being an "older Mother", to me should have no bearing on what people think, as age should not factor into the way(s), in which normal, required care quality is administered to a child and whilst unfortunately some people must obviously use age to judge you, they are wrong and shouldn't do it.

I have read enough about you upto now, to know that I don't think for a minute you are going to seriously let your daughter down. Infact some of the best parents are single parents. Sometimes the lack of the second influence is better, because that person may be a highly negative or simply inadequate influence on a child or children, that is counterproductive to the other parents actions.

This statement should be taken as a generalisation however and not a specific description of your Husbands' attitude to your daughter, as it would be crass to make any form of judgement based on 0% evidence.

I think you WILL succeed, because I believe as you say, you have done this sort of thing before and you believe in yourself that it is possible.

So I don't want you to think of yourself as useless, I want you to be proud of yourself :).

Proud of admitting all these problems and difficulties and proud of not giving up on yourself and talking about yourself like you are worthless, because there is a difference between useless and worthless and not necessarily being any good at stuff, doesn't mean you have no value.

So you should be proud of yourself and you know something, I'm really proud of you, for the things I said and you have barely shared any time with me on this forum, except the time since you joined the other day, but you've given me enough reasons through your words and expression, to believe in you, be proud of you and want the best for you.

You're not broken or damaged, you're just someone that has lost some of their ability to shine and express more inner beauty. I know you'll find those things again and be the sort of person, I whole-heartedly believe you CAN be and DESERVE to be and I wish you so much luck trying to find that person :).
Thank you for all the above!You ARE worth it and so is your daughter, so chin up, be strong and no worries okay :). If you want this as much as you seem to, you'll make this happen and you'll prove to your daughter what a strong, independant, empowered Lady can be and as for the husband, I'm sure you'll find that inner strength to go on without him and prove that you don't need him to be a wonderful Mother and a wonderful influence on your daughter and if she grows up to be not as you might have liked, don't judge yourself too harshly, but remind yourself that outside influences and TV, play a part too and sometimes with the best will in the world, good people can't be perfect and can't always raise the best kids, but if you do what I believe you CAN do, you'll have every chance of being someone with a child they can be proud of :).

It's good to see you starting to take those first positive and important steps to a better future and a better you and we as a community will support you for as long as you want us to :).

WELL DONE on being brave and strong enough to talk about your problems and issues and GOOD LUCK again. You CAN do this, I'm sure of that :).
Thanks again for all you've said, it means alot x
They were saying on the news today that people like me in the morbidly obese catagory are 29% more likely to die significantly earlier than other people, which brought it home to me.
I also headed off to Holland and Barrett and came out with some B-Complex and Vit B12 to see if it ups mood and makes me less tired... (daughter was bored and wouldnt let me have a good look round) .. have done good with eating today, to be honest I feel so heart sick at whats happeneing I have no appetite, silver clouds and all that!

I have yet to do exercise.. I'm a night time exerciser.
Note to self to check out with doctor if I am anaemic - the breathlessness and heart palpitations can be a sign.
fiona18
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Re: Keeping track to keep on track!

Post by fiona18 »

Just done wii fit, burned 191 cals .. got a nice sweat on!
fiona18
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Re: Keeping track to keep on track!

Post by fiona18 »

I've got 11lb to go to first goal so I am going to treat myself to something.
I'm hoping I'll reach that in a couple/few weeks.
I'm thinking perfume!
musculArgirl2
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Re: Keeping track to keep on track!

Post by musculArgirl2 »

Welcome fiona!! Your not alone! sorry you had to go through such a rough time lately. sounds like a lot. but you are in the right spot and with a very supportive great group of people. :) :) you will be to your first goal in no time!! :)
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Boss Man
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Re: Keeping track to keep on track!

Post by Boss Man »

A B complex might be a good idea, not least as past studies have linked B8, (Inositol), to beneficial effects for people with OCD and depression, the latter being something you have eluded to going through in your past.
fiona18
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Re: Keeping track to keep on track!

Post by fiona18 »

musculArgirl2 wrote:Welcome fiona!! Your not alone! sorry you had to go through such a rough time lately. sounds like a lot. but you are in the right spot and with a very supportive great group of people. :) :) you will be to your first goal in no time!! :)
Thanks for the lovely welcome :) x
fiona18
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Joined: Thu Dec 27, 2012 7:49 pm

Re: Keeping track to keep on track!

Post by fiona18 »

Boss Man wrote:A B complex might be a good idea, not least as past studies have linked B8, (Inositol), to beneficial effects for people with OCD and depression, the latter being something you have eluded to going through in your past.
Hehe I am a bit OCD too apparantly. I'm just hoping they'll do something and I feel less tired. I'll start them tomorrow, although don't think I'll do the full 6 a day!

I just took some pics, geez I've really let myself go :? I'm bigger than I thought I was in head! Much bigger!
Oh well, afters will just look that much more impressive :wink:
daughter has taken to calling me 'big bum' so she'll have to come up with a new nickname!

When I lost weight before exercise was alot more than doing wii!
I was doing bootcamp dvds up to 3 times a day, and lifting 20lb weights, which is why arms are so huge now.
I cant lift weights anymore, but hope to work up to bootcamp eventually and I have Tae Bo also, but I'm just not physically ready yet, I'd probably have a heart attack!
fiona18
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Re: Keeping track to keep on track!

Post by fiona18 »

Whoohoo just posting early to log down 6lb down now and so close to being out of the morbid catagory!
musculArgirl2
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Re: Keeping track to keep on track!

Post by musculArgirl2 »

Great job! what is the morbid category how much weight do you have to be? i will have to google it. I was never able to find a website that gave it that i remember. I know it varies on your height and really isn't totally accurate if you are more muscular than most.
fiona18
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Re: Keeping track to keep on track!

Post by fiona18 »

A BMI over 40 is classed as morbidly obese, then 39-30 is obese, and to 25 is overweight which is where I am fine at.
Between 25 and 27 is goal :D
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