a new direction, please help?

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ruerue17
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a new direction, please help?

Post by ruerue17 »

im sixteen and 170 lbs. last year, i was the same weight and after a comment that someone made about me needing to join fat camp, i knew i had to turn life around. i started excercising like crazy and eating the right foods and cutting out sweets and junk food entirely. i was more than happy with life, but as time passed i put on the weight again. and just recently more commets about weight have flown about, and now i am more serious that ever to lose a total of 50 lbs within time. i am very self concious and have nearly no confidence at all. it also doesn't help that friends are very slim. i just want this struggle to dissapear and to finally be happy about myself, and i don't want to put on the weight again.

i work out quite often and do lots of physical activity, but eating is biggest problem. i am always hungry and portions are probably larger than necessary and i need help in cutting down on the food for good.

also, i want to come back and wow people with body. i want people to see me and know that i worked for body and i want to keep it in fit shape all the time.
help please.
cassiegose
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Re: a new direction, please help?

Post by cassiegose »

ruerue17 wrote:im sixteen and 170 lbs. last year, i was the same weight and after a comment that someone made about me needing to join fat camp, i knew i had to turn life around. i started excercising like crazy and eating the right foods and cutting out sweets and junk food entirely. i was more than happy with life, but as time passed i put on the weight again. and just recently more commets about weight have flown about, and now i am more serious that ever to lose a total of 50 lbs within time. i am very self concious and have nearly no confidence at all. it also doesn't help that friends are very slim. i just want this struggle to dissapear and to finally be happy about myself, and i don't want to put on the weight again.

i work out quite often and do lots of physical activity, but eating is biggest problem. i am always hungry and portions are probably larger than necessary and i need help in cutting down on the food for good.

also, i want to come back and wow people with body. i want people to see me and know that i worked for body and i want to keep it in fit shape all the time.
help please.

Hi Tia,

Welcome to our site.

First of all... Girl I'm sending you a great big *hug* as I can honestly say that I know what youre going through, I know its not easy, and I know how cruel and hurtful others can be. And speaking of others, all those cruel, mean, hurtful, inconsiderate MONSTERS who are making comments about your weight will have their day when they find that life isn't always as easy as it is now. I know its hard, but ignore them if you can and try not to let them bring you down. If they bring you down, then they've won. Don't let them win!

Secondly... You've had success with weight loss before and therefore WE BOTH know that you have what it takes to do it again. As for portion sizes, girl I know what you mean. I LOVE to eat! In fact, I can eat more than most grown men (true story!). This is actually a huge accomplishment for me because I was anorexic for years and spent a long time very much afraid of food. Since then I've learned that its ok to eat and its ok to eat ALOT... As long as youre eating the right foods! You should never have to feel hungry or deprived just because you're trying to lose weight. In fact, overly depriving yourself of food while dieting will only make you more likely to give up on the diet and not meet your weight loss goals.

Ok so now lets take a look at your diet. You said that you're hungry alot so I'm assuming you're probably not eating enough protein and healthy fats... or your just not eating enough calories in general. Can you post an example of a typical day and what you usually eat? Show what youre doing and we'll go from there to help you meet your goals. Also, 50 lbs is a great goal, however lets also make some smaller goals that you could meet in the next week or two. You said you are pretty active... how many days a week do you currently exercise and what kind of exercise do you do?

Confidence... This is a tough one Tia. Being sixteen and having friends who are slim makes it even more difficult to be confident as its hard not to compare yourself to others. When I was your age I used to see other peoples successes as failures. If I got a 3.8 gpa and sister got a 4.0 I would feel like i had failed because her grades were better (even though mine were still good). I've learned that one of the greatest things a person can do to improve confidence and self esteem is to focus on whats good in your life instead of whats not. Can you humor me and list three things that you LOVE about yourself? You said that you have friends... that means that you're probably a nice person? What else.... Are you smart? Funny? Artistic? Athletic? Kind? Generous?...

Also, you said that when you lost the weight before you were more than happy with your life. Can you describe what was going on at that time that made it easier for you to lose the weight? Were your parents/family/friends supportive? Did you have a certain event or goal date that you were working towards? Is there a certain event coming up that you want to look super hot for? (Prom is in the spring right?... atleast 8 months away... I bet you could easily lose the weight by then).

Ok I'll stop bombarding you with questions as I don't want to completely overwhelm you. :)

As I already said, you have what it takes to meet your goals Tia. We just have to develop a plan and put it in force and you'll be there in no time.

*hugs*

Cassie
ruerue17
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Re: a new direction, please help?

Post by ruerue17 »

thank you for that message, it helped to make me feel like i am not alone.
okay so a typical meal day for me will be a bowl of cereal in the morning ( or sometimes two)
and then about an hour or two later i will snack on a granola bar or something small.
for lunch i usually have turkey and cheese sandwiches (always on weat bread) and something on the side like pretzels or chips or crackers.. and i usually have a diet coke with it.
for dinner i'll have whatever parents make such as spaghetti, rice and chicken, hamburgers, etc etc. and im also a big water drinker and drink lots of water throughout the day. i also tend to snack throughout the day on whatever is pretty much laying around the kitchen that is out of a box.
also, i go out to eat a lot with friends and even though i know its not healthy to eat out so much, its hard to say no when friends always want to go out.

as for excercise, i'd say i work out atleast three times a week. I go to the gym often and i lift weights, work abdominals on the mats, do some cardio, and walk laps around the gym. When i go, i usually go for between 2-3 hours, but when i get home im starving and just start eating again, and lots of food because i always think "oh i just worked out so i should be able to eat this is and this..." which is not good :/
also, i go to the park a lot which is five miles around and i either walk, run, or bike ride around it. and since it's summer i often go swimming too.

and three things i love about myself? hmm.. i like optimism. i always try to stay positive as best as i can and am always up for anything new. i'm also very trustworthy i've come to find which i like about myself as well. friends can all confide in me and even family members too. i'm also pretty athletic and i play softball, basketball, and soccer for community leagues in area.

the first time i started losing weight was in february 2009, and that was just after dad had left for a year in iraq and dad had always been somebody to limit me on what i ate which was really upsetting if i'd be snacking on chips and he would tell me "you don't need to be eating that" which i knew was his way of telling me that i was bigger than i should be, and he would make me run. and when he came home i wanted him to see me healthy and fit, and eating the right foods, which was always in the back of mind while i was trying to lose weight. mom was also very supportive and would always tell me that she was proud of me for what i was doing, and when she started to notice changes in body she would tell me, and everyone else that was noticing was more motivation to keep going. after awhile though.. i guess things just started to slowly fade away and it wasnt as important to me anymore. and by the time dad came home i had already gained the weight back. and actually homecoming is coming up in october, and i would love to look at the pictures afterwards and be happy with what i see. (prom is something to look forward to too! :)

help find faults?
cassiegose
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Re: a new direction, please help?

Post by cassiegose »

Hi again Tia,

This is great! It looks like we can just impliment a few changes and you should start seeing results quickly!

For your diet... The reason that youre hungry is because youre not eating enough protein and healthy fat and it apprears that you're eating WAYYYYY too many carbs (I'm assuming most are processed carbs which are not the best).

Do you have access to things like brown rice, whole grain pasta, oatmeal, legumes (black beans, chick peas, kidney beans, lentils, pinto beans), whole grain (high fiber) tortillas, chicken breast, fish, lean red meat, lean pork, turkey breast, eggs, fat free milk, fat free cottage cheese, fat free greek yogurt, natural nut butter (adams brand is great), nuts, avocados, olive oil, flax seed, fruits, and veggies?

What if we changed your diet a bit to look something like this:

Meal 1: bowl of old fashioned rolled oats with 1/2 cup blueberries cooked in (top with stevia and cinnamon), and 3 scrambled eggs
Meal 2: 1 low fat cheese stick, 20 almonds, 1 piece fruit
Meal 3: sandwich (tuna, ham, turkey, chicken) on whole grain bread. Top with things like lettuce, tomato, pickels, or other veggies of choice and mustard (hold the mayo unless its low fat). Side salad with low fat dressing or olive oil vinegarette
Meal 4: 1 whole grain (high fiber) tortilla with fat free refied beans and 1 slice low fat cheese OR some form of lean meat, nuts, and veggies
Meal 5: eat with the family... Try to load your plate with veggies and lean meats/proteins and limit things like pasta, white rice, white bread, white tortillas.... if you do have these things make sure they are whole grain and keep your portion sizes small. For instance, if the family is having hamburgers (if possible) have a 1/2 of a whole grain bun and ask your mom if shes using lean beef for the burger. Top with mustard and ketchup, lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion and hold the cheese. On the side you could have a large salad or some veggies. If the family is having tacos opt for whole grain (high fiber) tortillas, lean meat (chick and fish are great for tacos!), beans, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, olives, and salsa... Or you could skip the tortilla all together and have a taco salad instead of tacos. If the family is having spaghetti skip the pasta and have the meat, sauce, with things like mushrooms, zucchini, peppers, onions, and/or other veggies of choice.
Meal 6: if you feel like you need another meal before bed protein with some fruit or veggies is great here. If you have a sweet tooth you could try mixing greek yogurt, stevia, and peanut butter and having that with an apple. Its seriously delicious! Or you could do something like an omelette or simply have a bit of protein, some healthy fat (nuts, nut butter, avocado, olives, flax) and some veggies.

On this meal plan you're going to feel like you're eating a ton of food, and you really are. However you'll be eating the kinds of foods that your body needs. Eating the above plan would give you tons of energy and you wouldn't ever feel hungry (although you might miss the sugary/greasy foods for the first couple of weeks... these cravings should go away though and you'll find that you're quite happy eating the above foods). I'm suggesting that you eat 6 meals a day so you're putting food in your body about every 3 hours or so. This keeps your metabolism running smoothly and will prevent you from getting overly hungry and binging.
For workouts.. Instead of 3 days a week and 2-3 hours could you do something like 6 days a week at only one hour? You could do your weight training (focus on things like squats, bench press, lunges, lat pull downs, rows, pushups, leg press, over head press) 3 days a week (every other day) and do your cardio 3 days a week (every other day). Would something like that work for you?

When you go out with your friends just do your best to make healthy choices when possible. Pretty much every restaurant offers some form of salad and most will alter other dishes if you wish. You can always order a salad and have them hold the cheese and fatty dressings. I know its hard to have to eat a salad when your friends are all eating things like fries and hamburgers... and honestly theres just no way around that. Its difficult, it sucks, and its a part of life.

As for the things about yourself... those are all great things Tia! Optimism is SO SO SOOOO important! I'm please to see that you listed that quality! And the fact that you're up to trying new things! Thats great! It means you have a sense of adventure and you're going to be willing to try out new and exciting things as you get older... sometimes we have to "test the waters" a bit and push ourselves outside of our comfort zones to experience new things. And the fact that you're trustworthy, this must mean that you're also very honest. Trust is a very important thing in life and the fact that your friends and family feel that they can confide in you is great. Trust is something that really takes a long time to build so that is great. And being athletic is AWESOME! This keeps you active and is a great way to meet new people! :)

Ok so October. I want to be realistic in helping you set and achieve your goals. I don't think that losing 50lbs by October is a healthy goal. However, I bet if you REALLY tried you could lose 20 lbs by October. This is 2lbs per week so is a pretty intense goal. Its going to take a lot of hard work and dedication to meet that goal. What do you think? That would put you around 150lbs... I think I read somewhere that you're 5'5? So you'd be about a size 7/8-9/10. What do you think? I have a feeling you CAN DO THIS if you really want it badly enough.

Thoughts?

Cassie :)
ruerue17
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Re: a new direction, please help?

Post by ruerue17 »

these meal plans will be something different, but i am definately willing to give it a try. i will shoot for 5-6 small meals a day and see how it goes! i do tend to eat a lot of carbs and i am going to cut those out as best as possible. quick question, would eating too much cereal be a bad thing? last time i dieted and lost weight, i would eat cereal for two meals out of a day and that helped me loose weight... and as for the 2 lbs a week, i am going to try best. it would be soooo nice to lose 20 lbs by october. 6 days of excercising a week is also something i can do, the last time i lost weight i was working out from sunday-friday.
doing different things every three days and such will surely keep the workout interesting which i am glad about! i hate boring workouts or doing the same routine all the time. so this should be good. thank you!

i can not tell you how much i appreciate the help and advice, it means a lot to me and keeps me inspired and motivated to achieve the best.

Tia
cassiegose
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Re: a new direction, please help?

Post by cassiegose »

ruerue17 wrote:these meal plans will be something different, but i am definately willing to give it a try. i will shoot for 5-6 small meals a day and see how it goes! i do tend to eat a lot of carbs and i am going to cut those out as best as possible. quick question, would eating too much cereal be a bad thing? last time i dieted and lost weight, i would eat cereal for two meals out of a day and that helped me loose weight... and as for the 2 lbs a week, i am going to try best. it would be soooo nice to lose 20 lbs by october. 6 days of excercising a week is also something i can do, the last time i lost weight i was working out from sunday-friday.
doing different things every three days and such will surely keep the workout interesting which i am glad about! i hate boring workouts or doing the same routine all the time. so this should be good. thank you!

i can not tell you how much i appreciate the help and advice, it means a lot to me and keeps me inspired and motivated to achieve the best.

Tia
Hi Tia,

I REALLY like your positive attitude. Attitude is EVERYTHING when it comes to setting and achieving goals.... tell yourself you can do something and you most likely will be able to. Tell yourself you can't and you will most likely fail.

Yes I noticed that you do tend to eat a lot of carbs. Carbs do have their place in a healthy diet, but doing too many of them is not conducive for fat loss. Eating cereal for two meals is fine as long as the cereal is whole grain and has less than 5 grams of sugar per serving. Sooo plain cheerios, whole grain wheat chex, puffed brown rice, wheatabix are all fine. Also, if you do cereal you need to combine it with some form of protein and healthy fat (maybe skim milk with a bit of protein powder mixed in and a few almonds on the side or skim milk with a couple boiled/scrambled/poached eggs).

If you lose 2 lbs a week you're going to be doing great! If you can lose 1-1.5 you'll also be doing awesome! I would imagine you'll notice some FAST weight loss as soon as you impliment these changes... so the first 10 lbs or so should fall off really quickly. After that it will most likely become more difficult to continue losing the weight, however it is still totally achievable. It becomes more difficult over time as your body will adapt to the changes you're making in your lifestyle. When this happens, we simply need to adjust the diet/training to continually force your body to work and keep burning those calories. When we get to that point in the program I and others on this site will be here to help you along and make sure you continue to meet your goals.

I'm very happy to help you with these weight loss goals and I'm glad to see that you're motivated and inspired to make some healthy changes in your life! :mrgreen:

Cassie
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Boss Man
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Re: a new direction, please help?

Post by Boss Man »

I don't need to chime in about the training / diet as that's already been dealt with by others superbly.

What I wil say is, bear in mind that this is not just about your 50lbs of weight as well, this is about your future. The short-term goal is great, but don't forget that the benefits of how you're choosing to live are far more wide ranging than purely cosmetic, or what you can see to put it another way.

The last laugh is on you, it really is :). The chances are most if not all the people who have made pathetic comments about you are people who probably are not active and in some cases getting into bad things, that could one day ruin their lies or even kill them.

They're that age, so some will experiment with things they may pay for later, with the ultimate price.

You on the other hand have done something to be VERY proud of. You have stood up and realised you cannot continue to live the way you have bene doing. 50lbs overweight at 16 is one thing, but 150lbs+ overweight at 26?

You are doing something, very, very positive and when other people in years to come, start to feel bad or have a body to regret, you could have a body to feel so proud of and one that makes you feel special, alive, and happy.

Nobody has the right to treat you like you're a piece of trash, but if that isn't motivation enough to change physically and do on changing and redefining YOU, for the next X number of years, then what is?

This is a chance to make yourself look and feel more beautiful and to be a person, I think you deserve to be and I am sure that if you stick to the task in hand for the long-term, you can one day be a good rolemodel to others.

You don't need to do this to make anyone proud of you, because there will be other things you probably do already in that regard, but you can do this to make you proud of yourself and to prove to yourself that you undoubtedly ARE worth it.

First thing to do is to give yourself a pat on the back. You deserve it, for recognising your situation as negative, not something you can get comfortable with and for actually doing something about it, not making out you will then just don't.

You are someone with a lot of hope for the future, but don't ever think you'll be someone that tries and fails. That happened before in it's own way, but it does'nt have to be the case now. Now you're someone that has recognised the need to try, beyond the "doesn't seem to matter much anymore" phase, you went into last time, that caused the weight to come back.

This time it's about you giving yourself a great start to a hopefully long, fulfilling, strong, happy future. It's about you never having to feel like second best or not good enough, because I think you ARE good enough and you DO have the right, not to feel second best and settle for it.

Are you alone in this endeavour? NO, because you have made one of the most important and soundest moves you could have. You sought out the kind of people and environment that can be conduisive to a better you, instead of struggling along on your own.

I'm proud of your trying to change for YOU and you should be proud of you too. You seem like an intelligent, gentle and warm "young Lady", so don't stop believing in yourself and don't ever think you are not capable, because if you kepe believing then you CAN do this and you CAN make it a "life long" commitment and a something you CAN succed at.

You are one of us now and we WILL try to do our best to look out for you and support you for as long as you want us to, keep pushing and keep letting us know how you feel and how you are doing okay :)

The more you le us know and keep us updated, the more we can be here to support you and help you to make more of the things you want to do physically.

GOOD LUCK and very, very best wishes :).
Trish0102
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Re: a new direction, please help?

Post by Trish0102 »

Continue with the exercises you've been doing. You are still sixteen and your body is still making a lot of adjustments. Anyway, never lose hope and continue to have a healthy lifestyle.
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Boss Man
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Re: a new direction, please help?

Post by Boss Man »

Actually she's 19 now not 16 :wink:

just saying.
toddhicks209
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Re: a new direction, please help?

Post by toddhicks209 »

Curbing your urge to eat too much can be done if you work hard enough at it. One thing you can do is take a reasonable portion of a certain food out of its package or container then put the package/container of food back in the refrigerator or cabinet. Another thing you can do is snack on something healthy and appetite satisfying such as grapes and other fruits more than snacking on things such as cookies and potato chips.
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