The main thing, is to try and create one of the best physical states you can, in a good timeframe, not a harsh one. If it takes another 3-4 weeks longer than you thought originally, you're learning something ,so it's still all good and if you have a long lifetime ahead of you, what's another 3-4 weeks of waiting for a goal to happen?
Nothing but a positive learning experience and a potential pressure release, so don't make things harder for yourself, when it's not necessary. You can be very proud of yourself and when you feel negative, we can feel that too in our own way, because we can understand it, even if it's not something we've been through.
It's that empathetic ability of ours, that also allows us to care about people like you. So keep caring about you too and don't be afraid of not doing something in a specific timeframe, if it's not meant to be. "Could but didn't", is different to "couldn't and didn't". If you become a "couldn't and didn't" person with goals, it's only because you set too harsh goals, not because you're a "could but didn't" goal setter, in that respect.
You're NOT failing yourself here, you're winning and succeeding EVERY DAY and when you feel good and you feel proud, we feel good and feel proud for you, because you matter to us and right now there's only one Lisa Newmami, who is a small but wonderful part of all of us and we couldn't and wouldn't ask for better.
So don't be so hard on yourself yeah. It's good to see you wanting to be more positive and less emotionally punishing. We're all proud of you and we DEFINITELY won't allow you to fail yourself, because we all think too much of you to turn our backs on you
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. It was very embarrasing. The firefighters automatically assumed I did it. One of them said: "Don't worry, wife did the same thing when we first got married. She didn't know how to cook nor use a microwave" 
Thank God for youngest. He said: "Oh no, mom CAN cook. But obviously dad doesn't" 
. Anyways, it was too late to go back to journal & honestly, I forgot what I did Yesterday. OH yeah, I have to tell you about the chair dance video. OMG! LOOOOve it! Couldn't remember the steps, but I did it. While doing it, couldn't get off mind hubby's reaction when I do it...priceless. I even thought of the song I'm going to play: Baby Boy by Beyonce & Sean Paul. Sexy & Hot. I get embarrased, excited & anxious just thinking about it 
. I've been cooking since I got married (what? 2o+ years ago) & every single family reunion. But noooo, now that I'm on a "diet" they think I forgot how to cook. So, I challenged them. I invited them for lunch Saturday. If they like the food I wanted an apology, but if they weren't happy...I'll have to wash ALL the dirty dishes on reunion date 
. family is HUGE! What was I thinking? Anyways, they said yes. Of course, like it or not, it was a free meal...right? So, Saturday, a very stressfull day! But, I put all love & passion to cooking. I made: mashed potato pie: (w/ ground turkey, onions, mushrooms, garlic, tomatoes, carrots, olive oil, garlic, etc) cooked it put it in a small dish (filling) & cover it with mashed potato (skim milk, omega 3 unsalted butter) & sprinkled w/ fat free mozarella (YUMMY!). Salad: Lettuce, watercress & spinach, tomatoes, olives, avocado & canellini beans w/ lt. dressing (honey mustard, olive oil, lemon juice & pinch of sea salt & pepper). Even though it was freezing outside, house was HOT, HOT &. So, I decided to make fruit creamy pop sticks (strawberries, orange juice, yougurt). They looooved it. 
. I hope I do, but if I don't, I'll continue journey & set a more strict one. So far, I have been doing more cardio & have increased weights. I started with 5 lbs on each hand & now I'm lifting 10 lbs in each hand. I know it's not much weight, but to me it is. arms were very, very weak. Now, I feel them stronger. I use to do 10 dips. I struggled trying to finish the 3 sets recommended. But it's easier now. Have seen a few improvements, but want more. Trust me, I'm working very hard at it. I'm loving how arms & butt are looking 
. I told him it was a surprised. He likes surprises, so he's anxious. He hasn't seen the merchandise, but has felt it