Trying to Reject Body Shaming

[OfficeGirl]

hello! It's been a while, but you guys always know what to say to bring spirits back up. I'm very proud and happy to say that I've gained all the weight that I lost due to some diet restrictions I discovered a little over a year ago. To recap there: I found out that I am intolorant to gluten and oats and dairy products. When I cut them out of diet, I lost 20lbs and was "skinny fat". I bought a pair of Nikes and never looked back. I've put those 20lbs back on in muscle and some healthy fat, and I feel amazing.

the problem now is that I'm getting some comments on muscles. I wouldn't say that I have any serious bulk, but I do have muscular arms and legs (still working on that core!). I eat super clean (because of the things I can't have anymore, mostly) and on a pretty regular schedule. They comment on that too. It's like they're trying to shame me or some kind of peer pressure. I'm almost 30; I thought we were past high school! I reject the body shaming, especially since I'm not doing anything wrong. I am passionate about nutrition and a healthy lifestyle in general, but I'm trying not to give unsolicited advice or make anyone feel bad about eating the occasional donut. I'll admit to giving someone a hard time on the food, and the look on her face made me never want to say anything like that again. Lesson learned for sure! Maybe I'm over-zealous? Maybe they are trying to make themselves feel better by making me second guess myself?

Maybe I'm just venting or over sensitive. I'm proud of results, but I'm trying not to be self-concious at the same time. This body is still new to me, so it's strange when people point out "guns". Is this normal in the shift from regular to fit?

[Fitafter50]

Congratulations on your transformation, OfficeGirl!

No matter how the the comments are intended, try to see them as compliments. A big smile, and "thanks for noticing--I've worked hard on arms," will probably be enough to shut up anyone who is not genuinely happy for you. The bottom line is that you are eating well and working out for your own health and satisfaction. Some people will admire you for it, and others will resent you. Do what is right for you, pity the body-shamers, and enjoy your results.

Good call on not commenting on the choices of others, by the way!

[OfficeGirl]

Thank you! I think the other thing I'm struggling with is not being around like-minded people. Obviously it takes all types to make the world work, but not having the association is a challenge. I'm excited to embrace new body. Now, I just need to borrow your line to shut up the nay-sayers. Cheers!

[Fitafter50]

There you go--own your fabulousness!

It does help to have support from others with the same goals. You could get that here on the forum, or at a local gym or Y, or maybe find a running or fitness group on one of the sites like meetup.com. I'll be crossing fingers that one of your friends is inspired by your accomplishments and wants to join you because it's fun to workout with a buddy.

[Boss Man]

I am so proud of you for achieving that with your body. WELL DONE

Your hard work paid off and no doubt you look more beautiful. You're proving to people you're a superb sculptress with an artistic work of art you can call your body.

You deserve to be proud of yourself and the negative types are either jealous females who wish they could wake up tomorrow and look like that, or it's dumb jerk off guys who still live in the 18th century and expect their women to look like paint brushes and have an obsession with the kitchen.

You've worked hard for your results, so enjoy them, be proud of them and now your body is set for life and when the negative types potentially start to feel pain and issues with walking or even walking upright, standing up and getting out of bed when they're a lot older, you could be strong, shoulders high and possibly feeling 10 years younger than you are.

I'm happy for you and proud for you. You're a terrific person and you deserve to feel 10 feet tall for your achievements, so keep being good to yourself, work hard at it and let your body morphing skills keep working for you and helping you to find more of your inner amazing, because you ARE worth it and you DO deserve it.

It has been a while, but it's always good to hear from you and you are ALWAYS a welcome ray of sunshine around this place and we always, always want more of the positivity and inner beauty, people like you have to share and give, so don't leave it too long next time okay .

[MatthewCocking]

Hi there,

its funny you have posted this since it is something that I have always had a slight issue with.

Since I have started working at new job, I have received a number of comments myself. Everyone always has something to say about eating clean and whatever.

I therefore decided to do a test. for a couple of weeks I bought weight watchers ready meals to see the reaction. I thought, since a lot of them eat ready meals and things like that, no one would comment on them. I was wrong.

Taking the ready meals proved something to me. If people are jealous of something, they find ways to hide it in the form of teasing in other ways. They teased clean eating, then they teased that I wasn't clean eating and that I was "falling off the wagon". it was most likely their way of saying "haha good, ive dragged you down"

We should be proud of what we achieve, there are so few who are capable of living a truly fantastic healthy lifestyle. We are not teased for being wrong, we are teased for being a minority who is elite. We are teased because we are capable of much more than the average person.

How often do you see people with big muscles in a poor quality car? Thats because people who are in good shape and look after themselves and have the knowledge to do so are generally a lot harder working than those who "cant be bothered with it all".

Keep doing what you're doing, enjoy the teasing. It is simply a sign that you are doing amazing things

[OfficeGirl]

Thanks for the support. Matthew, I'm glad to hear that it's not just me having these issues, though I'm sorry you have to deal with it, too. I'm proud to be part of such a cool minority Normally I can let stuff like that roll off back and I don't care much for negative opinions. I think I just hit a bunch of it all at once, and let it wear me down. Thanks for dusting me off. I'll be heading to the gym in a few minutes. I just entered a tough mudder race for later this year, so now I have a goal to work for. Should be a good workout!

[Boss Man]

You have achieved what you have achieved because you worked hard for it and you can therefore be justly proud of the way your body has changed.

So you can be proud and carry on as normal.

[MatthewCocking]

You have achieved what you have achieved because you worked hard for it and you can therefore be justly proud of the way your body has changed.

So you can be proud and carry on as normal.

Exactly! And having a goal to work towards such as your Tough Mudder event is an excellent idea! It gives you a reason to look past all the comments. If you didn't have a goal then it may begin t make you ask "why do I bother?" but not you will be able to answer "well if I don't train and prepare myself, I'm going to fail at event" so there is your why!

Personally, I am working towards being 200lbs by Christmas. If i was to take on board what everyone was saying, that 200lb would probably happen, but it would be a nice chunk of fat rather than the high percentage of muscle gain I am hoping for!

Keep up the good work

[Eleuthera]

What other people think of you is their business and if they make comments then it comes from a place of ignorance or jealousy. I have always gained muscle (fat too!) quickly and for years I struggled with what I perceived to be a manly body, never went near weights and kept muscly legs covered and away from the high heels (I'm tall too). Well, I'm almost 52 and I now do weights and I LOVE muscly arms! Why? Because it means I don't have bingo wings! I truly believe you should be comfortable in your body, no one is perfect. In a world where pug dogs, great Danes and Chihuahuas are all considered cute we set very rigid goals for ourselves. To me it sounds like you are in great shape.

[dean90]

I am happy that you gained all the lost weight. Don't worry about the comments on your muscle.

[XxJassyxX]

Some people will never be happy with your physical appearance no matter what! So don't let them get to you. I wish arms would be a bit more muscly! I know the body shaming, since many people in high school told me I was too skinny. At first I felt really hurt, but when I grew older, I decided not to believe in all the things that people says simply because they are not happy with themselves. So just be proud of yourself, you have achieved so much!

[Vegas Jon]

They are compliments, but as others have pointed out you should be happy with the healthy transformations and changes in your life and only YOUR opinion truly matters.