I did hair and got all pretty and put on a mini skirt and lacy top.
I got some color.
Encouragment and Self Motivation
Moderators: Boss Man, cassiegose
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Voluptuousme
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- Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2009 4:55 pm
Yesterday didn't start great. I couldn't find anything to wear to the beach. I cried and bitched and decided that i would just stay home and clean the house. Anthony said he was going to give me some time alone to get dressed and do hair. He took Tori to the store and gave me 40 minutes to do thing.
I did hair and got all pretty and put on a mini skirt and lacy top.
I got some color.
I did hair and got all pretty and put on a mini skirt and lacy top.
I got some color.
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Voluptuousme
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- Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2009 4:55 pm
I am looking for a gym to go to with Anthony. I would really appreciate some advice on this.
First we tried LA fitness (just went in and discussed options and deals) and they just came off really bored with their job and then upon going online to ripoffreport.com we found many many many posts on how shitty that gym was.
I've been to 24 hour fitness before and i really loved it but it was SUPER expensive and we just don't have the money for a place like that.
Then there is the YMCA. Which is great too and they have a deal (no contract, 85 for the both of us per month, and no direct debit withdrawal. )
That last one is really the deal breaker...
Then there is a community center up the road which has a deal starting on the 26th of this month to september 6th of 09. three months for 50 bucks. Which is GREAT! but idk. I'm not really sure why i have a problem going to the community center. I'm just being stupid. but that doesn't change how I feel.
Any advice at all is super welcomed. Thanks a lot for taking the time. You guys have been great!
First we tried LA fitness (just went in and discussed options and deals) and they just came off really bored with their job and then upon going online to ripoffreport.com we found many many many posts on how shitty that gym was.
I've been to 24 hour fitness before and i really loved it but it was SUPER expensive and we just don't have the money for a place like that.
Then there is the YMCA. Which is great too and they have a deal (no contract, 85 for the both of us per month, and no direct debit withdrawal. )
That last one is really the deal breaker...
Then there is a community center up the road which has a deal starting on the 26th of this month to september 6th of 09. three months for 50 bucks. Which is GREAT! but idk. I'm not really sure why i have a problem going to the community center. I'm just being stupid. but that doesn't change how I feel.
Any advice at all is super welcomed. Thanks a lot for taking the time. You guys have been great!
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Voluptuousme
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i was just about to say did you send one? i didn't get it...
[email protected]
don't worry i'll respond
[email protected]
don't worry i'll respond
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cassiegose
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- Location: Prineville Oregon
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Voluptuousme
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- Posts: 90
- Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2009 4:55 pm
Bunch of other Fit people working out and judging me. I know they are not but I feel that way. And the workers/trainers are such dicks sometimes.
This week sucked for me. I really wanted Do this workout that boss put up on his site but i never got myself to do it.
I need to just pull hair out and do it. I'm so freaking lazy. Excuses come out of mouth like vomit. Its horrible.
This week sucked for me. I really wanted Do this workout that boss put up on his site but i never got myself to do it.
I need to just pull hair out and do it. I'm so freaking lazy. Excuses come out of mouth like vomit. Its horrible.
First of all, it's okay to have the feelings that you do. You are entitled to them without a doubt. That being said, the change has to begin with you. All of us on this site can encourage, offer you plans on exercsie and diet control, but truthfully, the change needs to come from within.Voluptuousme wrote:Bunch of other Fit people working out and judging me. I know they are not but I feel that way. And the workers/trainers are such dicks sometimes.
This week sucked for me. I really wanted Do this workout that boss put up on his site but i never got myself to do it.
I need to just pull hair out and do it. I'm so freaking lazy. Excuses come out of mouth like vomit. Its horrible.
When I first began getting serious about being fit, I was, like you, intimidated by the gym. I vividly remember walking into th gym which is local YMCA and feeling out of place, awkward, and really clueless about where to start. I thought everyone was looking at me and thinking that girl doesn't know what the hell she's doing and truth be told, I didn't. Now I could give a rat's what people think but that's due to a combination of confidence and turning 40
When I really thought about the reasons why I wanted to be fit, it far outweighted what others thought. I took husband with me and he walked me through the equpiment for about a week until I got bearings. He was wonderful. I then went to the library and got books on weightlifting and nutrition as I knew from reading before that you cannot have one without the other. Baby steps are the key. Once you begin to feel comfortable, it will come much easier to you to walk in there with the confidence you possess. Being a gym rat now, when I see a newbie honestly, I try to acknowledge them, notice that they are putting in a great effort because I want them to come back. I want them to feel the empowerment of being all you can be and more. People that are at the gym for those reasons will only offer you encouragement and a helping hand when you need it. Those that don't...screw em', not worth your time. But YOU are, so take the opportunity to educate yourself with all the information on this forum, ask questions, and still rely on our support. We will be here for you, but again, it has to begin with you. Good luck to you and all your endeavors!
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Voluptuousme
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To Swanso: Yes, I got your email. I had not responded yet because I was trying to figure out a way to answer your question. I met a woman in playgroup that wants to help me. So we went out to lunch and discussed anything underlying reasons why I don't like body or myself. We found that I have always tried to find some Validation from others. (mostly men). She thinks that I expect to be rejected and that's where I become unmotivated. But I want to be accepted so keep trying. It would seem its an emotional battle among myself.
To Boopster: You are an amazing speaker. You are so enlightening. You are so right about it being all up to me. Today after posting last post I got on about.com to look up some stuff on cardio. I got on stationary bike and did 10 minutes of interval training. Then I did yoga (in front of husband to get over fear of being in front of others) I did some crunches and leg raises, I felt pretty good about it. Somthing I read: Every little bit counts. I really need to believe that.
To Boopster: You are an amazing speaker. You are so enlightening. You are so right about it being all up to me. Today after posting last post I got on about.com to look up some stuff on cardio. I got on stationary bike and did 10 minutes of interval training. Then I did yoga (in front of husband to get over fear of being in front of others) I did some crunches and leg raises, I felt pretty good about it. Somthing I read: Every little bit counts. I really need to believe that.
Before I start this post, I want to assure you, I'm not saying anything here to be hard on you, but because I care .
That thing you talked about on site; you're still capable of trying that, you just need to believe that anything you try to do, is potentially the right thing, and if not you learn from it and move on.
Not trying, teaches you nothing. It reinforces an attitude within yourself, that you are potentially nothing, a physical waste of space, all talk and no substance, which you are not.
You managed to carry a small child for months, and give birth. I'd be the first to admit, if a guy could genetically do that sort of thing, I wouldn't say no, never, if such a situation could arise, but I'd rather not if push came to shove, no pun intended.
The responsibility for the child though, clearly doesn't end with the delivery, and I wouldn't dream of saying you're doing anything irresponsible by your child, as I don't believe for a minute you're anything other than a parent, who trys her best to be what their child needs from a Mother, and yeah it's going to be hard at your age, when you've not got as much life schooling, as some parents who start out 10-15 years later.
However your responsibility in part, is to show your child how to live. I'm not talking here about not being stupid with money, not having unsuitable partners, not committing crime etc etc, though that helps, but showing them how to live, from the perspective of not becoming the way you have.
I sincerely mean no disprespect by that, nor am I casting apsertions on your upbringing or your family, but if your child starts growing up thinking it's fairly normal to be chunky, and okay to eat certain things too much, it teaches them nothing, except how to slowly become unhealthy without guilt, or understanding of the potential consequences.
Your child could be the biggest motivation of all.
You need to think things like, I can't let child end up like I have, I can't be someone that can't interact properly with child sometimes, because I tire easily. I can't allow child to have a lifestyle I had.
Simply put, the lifestyle you had is a form of self abuse. It's hard to read I know, but it's true, and the human body wasn't meant to be overly burdoned with fat, and there comes a point, where what is acceptable stops being so, when you cross the thin red line to unacceptability.
You have to look at and interact with your child almost daily. Imagine 10 years from now, your child still being school age and weighing 200lbs+, because that's a real scenario, and don't necesarily expect that you'll find a school that gives them good stuff from day one, so they get used to having it, as that's not a realistic thing to expect from a school, probably as many would claim, an increased budget for that kind of food, would be unworkable.
Only when you begin to realise, the example your body, and failure to consistently attend to it's failings, are setting to your child, then you begin to see the potential reality your child faces, if your intended actions now, don't become more consistent, and properly applied.
You deserve to have a good quality of old age. Your child shouldn't have to become 40+, and knowing when they come to visit and ask how you are, you're going to reel off a list of grumbles about aches and pains, medications you hate taking etc etc.
So a good old age is something EVERYONE should be looking for, regardless of what they want to acheive in the first 5 years of starting out, but you should want good health and condition for your child too, and if you want it and I think you do, you have to make it happen for you first, so you can be the rolemodel they can look up to, and learn from, because right now, your ability to fall, and take a long time getting up, won't be the example they need and deserve to learn from.
So you need to start looking at things like excuses you make for stuff, and start justifying their relevance, as most of them will be unjusitifiable, and feel a little lame.
You have what it takes to do this, so beleive in that. If I didnt think so, I wouldn't say it, but you need to see that the will to achieve, is there for you, in your head, and something you DO have to understand and learn to master and control.
You need to be more honest with yourself, and you have the support of people here, and on site, but we can't do anything, if you don't tell us anything for long periods of time, when you potentially have time to tell us, and don't ever be afraid or ashamed to tell us when you messed up, because we don't mind. We're here to help, not make you feel like a useless dumb loser.
You're one of us, and you've proven you can respect what this and community stands for, so we WILL look out for you, and we WILL be here for you, but you have to start really assessing your approach to this, and seeing the example your falling down, and staying down has on your child.
Don't do this just for you, do this for TWO.
You're a great person, so don't be hard on yourself okay, but do keep us informed of what you're doing, and others on site too if you like. We WILL support you okay, but you've got to give more to yourself, for yourself and your child too.
Good luck yeah.
.That thing you talked about on site; you're still capable of trying that, you just need to believe that anything you try to do, is potentially the right thing, and if not you learn from it and move on.
Not trying, teaches you nothing. It reinforces an attitude within yourself, that you are potentially nothing, a physical waste of space, all talk and no substance, which you are not.
You managed to carry a small child for months, and give birth. I'd be the first to admit, if a guy could genetically do that sort of thing, I wouldn't say no, never, if such a situation could arise, but I'd rather not if push came to shove, no pun intended.
The responsibility for the child though, clearly doesn't end with the delivery, and I wouldn't dream of saying you're doing anything irresponsible by your child, as I don't believe for a minute you're anything other than a parent, who trys her best to be what their child needs from a Mother, and yeah it's going to be hard at your age, when you've not got as much life schooling, as some parents who start out 10-15 years later.
However your responsibility in part, is to show your child how to live. I'm not talking here about not being stupid with money, not having unsuitable partners, not committing crime etc etc, though that helps, but showing them how to live, from the perspective of not becoming the way you have.
I sincerely mean no disprespect by that, nor am I casting apsertions on your upbringing or your family, but if your child starts growing up thinking it's fairly normal to be chunky, and okay to eat certain things too much, it teaches them nothing, except how to slowly become unhealthy without guilt, or understanding of the potential consequences.
Your child could be the biggest motivation of all.
You need to think things like, I can't let child end up like I have, I can't be someone that can't interact properly with child sometimes, because I tire easily. I can't allow child to have a lifestyle I had.
Simply put, the lifestyle you had is a form of self abuse. It's hard to read I know, but it's true, and the human body wasn't meant to be overly burdoned with fat, and there comes a point, where what is acceptable stops being so, when you cross the thin red line to unacceptability.
You have to look at and interact with your child almost daily. Imagine 10 years from now, your child still being school age and weighing 200lbs+, because that's a real scenario, and don't necesarily expect that you'll find a school that gives them good stuff from day one, so they get used to having it, as that's not a realistic thing to expect from a school, probably as many would claim, an increased budget for that kind of food, would be unworkable.
Only when you begin to realise, the example your body, and failure to consistently attend to it's failings, are setting to your child, then you begin to see the potential reality your child faces, if your intended actions now, don't become more consistent, and properly applied.
You deserve to have a good quality of old age. Your child shouldn't have to become 40+, and knowing when they come to visit and ask how you are, you're going to reel off a list of grumbles about aches and pains, medications you hate taking etc etc.
So a good old age is something EVERYONE should be looking for, regardless of what they want to acheive in the first 5 years of starting out, but you should want good health and condition for your child too, and if you want it and I think you do, you have to make it happen for you first, so you can be the rolemodel they can look up to, and learn from, because right now, your ability to fall, and take a long time getting up, won't be the example they need and deserve to learn from.
So you need to start looking at things like excuses you make for stuff, and start justifying their relevance, as most of them will be unjusitifiable, and feel a little lame.
You have what it takes to do this, so beleive in that. If I didnt think so, I wouldn't say it, but you need to see that the will to achieve, is there for you, in your head, and something you DO have to understand and learn to master and control.
You need to be more honest with yourself, and you have the support of people here, and on site, but we can't do anything, if you don't tell us anything for long periods of time, when you potentially have time to tell us, and don't ever be afraid or ashamed to tell us when you messed up, because we don't mind. We're here to help, not make you feel like a useless dumb loser.
You're one of us, and you've proven you can respect what this and community stands for, so we WILL look out for you, and we WILL be here for you, but you have to start really assessing your approach to this, and seeing the example your falling down, and staying down has on your child.
Don't do this just for you, do this for TWO.
You're a great person, so don't be hard on yourself okay, but do keep us informed of what you're doing, and others on site too if you like. We WILL support you okay, but you've got to give more to yourself, for yourself and your child too.
Good luck yeah
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Voluptuousme
- SOCIAL CLIMBER
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- Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2009 4:55 pm
I am not upset by the message at all. I respect that you said it. And appreciate the reminder, It is easy to forget that someone is looking. I felt so good after doing so little today ( exercise I mean ). I know I can do this. I know that I will be a better parent, partner, and person when i'm healthy and happy. I intend to keep posting and do it more frequently.
Thank you boss. and the rest of you that take the time to care. : )
Thank you boss. and the rest of you that take the time to care. : )
I don't doubt you. As you can see from your more recent pictures, you're a great looking person, and I can see why your other half would have wanted to have you in his life.
I really like your personality and character, that's why I want you to succeed with these changes, for you and your child, because I think you both deserve it, and because it isn't about making you feel like crap for your past, but making you feel better about your future.
So I really hope this works, and I really hope we continue to a see a lot more of you.
GOOD LUCK and no worries okay.
I really like your personality and character, that's why I want you to succeed with these changes, for you and your child, because I think you both deserve it, and because it isn't about making you feel like crap for your past, but making you feel better about your future.
So I really hope this works, and I really hope we continue to a see a lot more of you
.GOOD LUCK and no worries okay.