Confession: I have to eat EVERYTHING on plate

[asiaboo1224]

This has been a big struggle for me years and it all started when I was a young girl. During the hard times in childhood where parents struggled with drug abuse, uncles raised me. They were old fashion, southern cooks and believed that young children should completely eat everything on their plate before being able to have something to drink; in fear that we would get full off of our drinks too quickly. Until this day, even though I can drink whenever I want, I still have problems resisting food. No matter how full I am, If there is still food on plate, I feel I must eat all of it. This is where portions come into play, I know if it eat smaller portions this will not be such a big problem but I still feel like I would struggle in places like restaurants where you have no control over the portion size. It sounds so weird but I get so envious of friends who are able to just stop eating when they get full. Sometimes I dont understand how they aren't dying to eat the food..I mean it tastes so precious lol. I just want to be able to stop when brain tells me its time..and be able to leave objects on a plate uneaten. If anyone has advice, or just shares the same problem please share with me so I know I am not alone and I can get through this.

Good luck on everyone's journey.
-asia.

[crispiee]

Asia,

This is EXACTLY how I am. As a kid I had quite a strong heart and learnt alot about the third world countries etc. and ended up feeling bad about them, stepfather would use that for his...well, entertainment and tell me that if I didnt eat all the food on plate then it was as if I was just rubbing it in their faces, and they would hate me. Being a child this was the biggest thing in the world to me, so I never left anything on plate, hell sometimes I'd make myself have a second portion if I enjoyed the meal enough just to show that I was appreciating food no matter how full I was.
So even though the fact no longer bugs me as I know more about it and I'm older and wiser now etc. I still have problems with leaving food on plate, no matter how big or small.

Have you ever thought about maybe when going out asking for a kids portion? Or maybe, indulge that one time but cut back the next day to try to balance it out? Being healthy and losing weight doesnt mean you have to cut everything good and fatty out of your life, it just means be conscious to it, and try to make better choices of food when you can.

Just know that in any situation you are NEVER alone. Feel free to mail or chat with me for any support.

Regards always,

Emma x

[fitoverforty]

No matter how full I am, If there is still food on plate, I feel I must eat all of it. This is where portions come into play, I know if it eat smaller portions this will not be such a big problem but I still feel like I would struggle in places like restaurants where you have no control over the portion size.

Another suggestion would be to order the healthiest option on the menu - grilled chicken, steamed veggies, etc. Pass on the bread basket or rolls, stay away from sauces, gravy, toppings (as in baked potato extras) and chicken fried anything. And I also agree that having them half the meal ahead of time is a great idea, and it gives you two meals for the price of one!

so I know I am not alone and I can get through this.

You are definitely not alone in this. We all struggle with different things. I can relate to the childhood "eating everything on your plate" for sure. As a kid, I wasn't allowed to leave the table until I finished everything - didn't matter if I liked it or not, had to eat it. To this day i can not eat a garbanzo bean to save life!

[Nokie173]

family came from a 3rd world country where people are starving everyday. mom always tells me how fortunate I am for having food to eat every day!!! Of course I stuff myself to finish everything she cooked. Once we’re done eating, I get a comment, you shouldn’t eat too much because you’re getting big….. Uh…. Gosh, what am I suppose to do? Eat or not eat? And when I don’t eat… she complains… sigh…

Anyways, you got some great advice from people about portioning your food. However, I want to mention about drinks. Just don’t drink empty calories. You mentioned you can drink anything… I hope its water… because things like juice, hard liquor, beers contain lots of calories... I rather drink water and have a nice health meal for calories. I hope that make sense. Let me know so I can clarify better.

[Athene]

No matter how full I am, If there is still food on plate, I feel I must eat all of it. [...] I just want to be able to stop when brain tells me its time..and be able to leave objects on a plate uneaten.

It's tough. I have Ukrainian grandparents who drilled the same kind of habits into me. Here is suggestion: Look at the food on your plate and say to yourself "Whether I eat this or not, it ends up in the same place." You can dispose of it as human waste (!) by eating it, or as garbage, without eating it. The only difference is whether your body absorbs the calories or not.

This might sound totally stupid, but it has helped me; particularly when I am sent home with leftovers I feel guilty about throwing out, or when I'm at a restaurant.

[asiaboo1224]

Thanks you guys! you all really make me feel like im not alone!
Also I love that idea about asking for a box ahead of time at a restaurant
I really appreciate everyone's comment..it was all great advice..
But just to clarify nokie..i didnt say drink whatever I want.. I said drink WHENever lol..because trust me I used to HATE water but now that and crystal lite are the only liquids that go through body on this journey.

Thanks again! And please shoot me a comment or message whenever you feel like talking..we are in this together

[mini_me]

Hi Asia....

I agree with Fitoverforty, definitely try to pick the healthiest thing off the menu. I read somewhere (most likely here), that you should try to order first becuase if you wait for your friends to order you will tend to order similar to what they are going to eat. If you like to go to an Applebee's or TGIFriday's then they have healthy items on their menus and some of them even have Weight Watcher points on them. Also, if you are planning to go out to eat, check out the menu online so you know what items they have. It will help you to make your decision when it comes time for you to order.

@fitover40...I've never asked them to pack up food b4 hand...I will definitely try that out! Thanks!

All the best,

Mimi

[Nokie173]

But just to clarify nokie..i didnt say drink whatever I want.. I said drink WHENever lol..because trust me I used to HATE water but now that and crystal lite are the only liquids that go through body on this journey.

oops... mybadd Read it too fast.. hehehe

[Boss Man]

The plats things is a good idea. Having small sized plates reduces what portion size you cna fit on the plate.

Althuhg something like Mashed potato could be heaped up to Kilmanjaro proportions perhaps

You can also use the Palm of the Hand system. a portion of meat and a portion of Carbs around the size of your hand Palms.

The other option is, is have a 3 foodstuff approach based on palm sizes, so something like Mushrooms, Peas, Beans, Rice, Lentils, Peanuts, Low Fat Cheese, Soy products or Wholewheat / Protein enriched Pasta, in a palm sized portion and then because they are good protein and Carb sources, add half a palm sized portion of a Protien source and half a palm sized portion of a Carb source, to bolster the Protein and Carb amounts in the meal.

[Claudia007]

So husband was brought up to eat everything off his plate too. He now does it to his son, who is over-weight. He's now doing it to daughter which I do not like. I fear it will continue into her adulthood and she will become overweight. husband was raised not to waste anything, so all he sees are dollars signs flying out the window should daughter say she's full before finishing her food. So what do I do? I don't want to waste, yet I don't want her to grow up thinking she must finish all her food, and I do not want to argue with husband!

[fitoverforty]

husband was raised not to waste anything, so all he sees are dollars signs flying out the window should daughter say she's full before finishing her food. So what do I do? I don't want to waste, yet I don't want her to grow up thinking she must finish all her food, and I do not want to argue with husband!

I know it is a hard position to be in - trying to keep the peace & trying to keep your children from associating bad memories with food. Kids go through stages where sometimes they eat like a bird - and don't want alot of food and sometimes they eat like a horse and you can't fill them up! I can understand her feeling full sometimes, even if she hasn't finished her plate.
How old is your daughter? Do you fill her plate or does she serve herself? I would suggest, if you serve her and feel like maybe her portion sizes have been too large for her, then start out with smaller portions and she how she does with that.
If she is serving herself, then talk to her about her portion sizes and having her really think about how much she will actually eat.
Hope this helps some.

[Bonnie]

son recently commented that I also had the habit of saying " your not leaving that table until you've cleaned your plate " which of course stems from parents & the great depression.Had I been educated on eating earlier on in life, I would do as I do now, weigh meat or vegetables & measure with measuring cups, all portions of grains etc.

[Boss Man]

Simple solution is you control he portions.

You aren't wasting food per se if you control the portions. You might find some of the remains can be salvaged, like Lamb that can be reheated, or cooked Chicken that can be eaten cold, but if you're also cooking just learn to be more moderate on portion creation, I.E. don't use too much stuff in the intial instance.

If Hubby still persists in giving the kids too much food, then you need a quiet word with him, because an overweight child should be proof positive, that his hard to break habit on this is not good for people.

Try emphasising the point that just becasuse it's normal in the U.S. for people to be overweight, it isn't necessarily right.

You can gain more control over this scenario, it's just a question of how and when?

Good luck and remember they're your kids too, so don't give in and do what's not right to please hubby, because there's two of them and one of him, so put the majority first okay, because they will always be worth it just like your marriage is .

[fitoverforty]

just becasuse it's normal in the U.S. for people to be overweight, it isn't necessarily right.

wow, that is a sobering statement Boss Man. Do other countries really view the U.S. as being normal in being overweight? That is sad. I am not argueing your statement, just shook that it has gotten so bad in the U.S. that people from other countries think that it is the normal way of life to be overweight here I just hope in life time, and certainly in son's lifetime that we can turn that around - something has to change in our brains to get us to see that we are slowly killing ourselves with these unhealthy diet and food choices that surround us on a daily basis.
Hopefully this website and others like it can continue to raise awareness and provide positive help and support to those of us who are trying to change and stop the downward spiral.

[Boss Man]

I wouldn't say it's considered normal per se, but I think America is classed as the worlds most obese nation and although Britain may have similar statistics, our smaller population prevents such issues from being magnified as much in comparison.

We certainly have a way to go, to have the vast majority of people living with and maintaining, an acceptable level of physicality and wellbeing.