Breast Concerns During Fat Loss.

[Athene]

if chest stay large in proportion to body, like how it is now, I won't feel so miserable about losing chest. But there is honestly not really anything else that's feminine about me. And being that they are the only real womanly attribute I have, and the fact that I feel like I'd look like a dude without them scares the hell out of me.

Oh man, I just looked at your photos and you're completely feminine physically with a classically feminine face. Even if you lost your entire body in a fire, womanly shape and all, you couldn't look like a dude if you tried!

I know what other people say doesn't really make a difference, but I don't know you that well so you could view opinion as unbiased, if you felt like it ; )

[MissJenaKay]

Oh man, I just looked at your photos and you're completely feminine physically with a classically feminine face. Even if you lost your entire body in a fire, womanly shape and all, you couldn't look like a dude if you tried!

I know what other people say doesn't really make a difference, but I don't know you that well so you could view opinion as unbiased, if you felt like it ; )

Completely feminine? Me? You crazy? Also, what do you mean by "classically feminine"?? Also, I've been told I look like a guy. The only reason I look feminine in those photos is because I'm wearing a prom gown and I'm wearing makeup. I don't look life that every day. Also, photo anglees change the look of facial and body shape.

Thanks for the compliment, though I highly disagree.

[MissJenaKay]

When I was bigger, people used to call me Al. Or Big Al, take your pick. I have a very masculine frame. As I've lost weight, I look a ton more feminine because curves are more visible.

You will also gain more femininity as your face thins out.

BUT why do boobs make you a woman? I don't think any physical feature defines womanhood.

I really have sat here for ten minutes trying to figure out to write, but I have no clue how to answer your first two lines. . . .
But in opinion, breasts make you a woman due to the fact that they add soft curve to your frame, they're something that men don't have, something that attracts men and something that are so uniquely feminine. But then again, It's been proven many times in the past that what I think is either stupid, wrong, or doesn't matter. So take that as you will.

Maybe if you try working out and eating the right things you'll start to feel better. Confidence goes up. Health (and brain function) improves. You'll feel better...

Vicious cycle.

You are determined to put up road blocks which is totally fine. I wish I'd had this community in life when I was 18. I was in a bad spot and I have no doubt the love and support here would have helped. If you're not ready, then you're not ready (which believe me I totally get), but you don't have to poo on everyone every time you get a compliment. Eventually you end up just insulting them.

The thing is, I don't mind compliments on things I agree with. I actually kind of like being complimented on intelligence or clothes that I chose. Things that I had control over. I don't like compliments on things that just sort of happen, things driven on genetics, and things I disagree about. I'm working on learning to accept compliments, I really am. I've actually come a way since being here, at least I can say thank you and "I disagree" I used to just rip into people and call them liars. :/ I'm trying to do what I can, but I only have so much time in a day and I have limited food options. I'm working on it though.

[MissJenaKay]

Bodyrock takes 20 minutes (or even four, just hop up and get your blood flowing) and as for the food... work with what you have and make the best decisions possible. Just remember you can eat more salad than pizza, because pizza is packed with calories (provided you don't go nuts on the salad dressing at least). Keep the calories under control and pack in as many veggies as you can. It will work itself out if you let it.

I do eat as well as I can, going as far as to buy the outrageously priced healthy foods at the grocery store instead of relying solely on meal plan. I've only eaten pizza twice since I moved in in September and I try to avoid the unhealthy foods. The working out part is where I have trouble, mainly just this quarter because it's too cold to walk all the way to the gym and roommate never freaking leaves and I'm not going to embarrass myself by exercising with her here.

[Athene]

Completely feminine? Me? You crazy? Also, what do you mean by "classically feminine"?? Also, I've been told I look like a guy. The only reason I look feminine in those photos is because I'm wearing a prom gown and I'm wearing makeup. I don't look life that every day. Also, photo anglees change the look of facial and body shape.

Thanks for the compliment, though I highly disagree.

Haha okay then we agree to disagree on this one. "Classically feminine" = "typically female as viewed throughout human history" is what I was going for. Unquestionably female. Who told you that you look like a dude anyway? Some douche?

[MissJenaKay]

I wasn't criticizing you or saying you eat too much pizza, it was just an example. Seemed more relevant than cake, but who knows.

There's always a way you either find it or you don't. I wish you the very best of luck and I hope that you can find success and happiness in your journey. This is different for everyone, but that doesn't mean we don't have something to offer, or that we don't understand.

Good Luck, Jena.

Thanks.

Haha okay then we agree to disagree on this one. "Classically feminine" = "typically female as viewed throughout human history" is what I was going for. Unquestionably female. Who told you that you look like a dude anyway? Some douche?

Who told me I look like a dude? Quite a few people. Friends, family, strangers.

[Athene]

Who told me I look like a dude? Quite a few people. Friends, family, strangers.

Do you think it's just clothes? Comments like that from friends and family are usually not designed to hurt your feelings, so it was probably about something like clothes, or your tomboyish bearing (read your profile page, sorry if this is getting creepy!). Do you think your friends and family would really tell you that you look like a dude and mean it about some unchangeable aspect of your physical appearance? No way. I dress in a typically "masculine" way myself because I like it, and even friends with short hair that are more "butch" than I am still look like women, just not girly girls. I would say that if you are worried about looking like a dude you are totally feeding into those comments in a way that is not how they were intended. When a dude wears a prom dress, he does not look like you in those photos! Only a woman does.

This is a side note, and I don't know if it helps, but I know a lot of cancer patients go through this when they undergo mastectomies. grandma said that she felt less like a woman after hers, and it was as crazy to me as this situation is now. The breasts don't make the woman, baby, the woman makes the breasts ; )

[MissJenaKay]

Do you think it's just clothes? Comments like that from friends and family are usually not designed to hurt your feelings, so it was probably about something like clothes, or your tomboyish bearing (read your profile page, sorry if this is getting creepy!). Do you think your friends and family would really tell you that you look like a dude and mean it about some unchangeable aspect of your physical appearance? No way. I dress in a typically "masculine" way myself because I like it, and even friends with short hair that are more "butch" than I am still look like women, just not girly girls. I would say that if you are worried about looking like a dude you are totally feeding into those comments in a way that is not how they were intended. When a dude wears a prom dress, he does not look like you in those photos! Only a woman does.

This is a side note, and I don't know if it helps, but I know a lot of cancer patients go through this when they undergo mastectomies. grandma said that she felt less like a woman after hers, and it was as crazy to me as this situation is now. The breasts don't make the woman, baby, the woman makes the breasts ; )

It might just be clothes, it just hurts that every once in a while if I dress in "nicer" clothes or I straighten hair, or I do makeup, or do anything, I get the "Oh gosh! You look like a girl!" comments from roommate and mother and friends and such. I hate dressing manly, but it covers what I want to cover. I want to dress like and feel like a feminine, beautifulwoman, but I really don't have the body for it...

If you say, dear. I still don't want to lose them, I'm quite fond of them.

P.S. I don't find it creepy that you're reading profile and such, if I didn't want it read, I wouldn't write it.

[MissJenaKay]

Actually, looking at her diet logs, it looks like she's not eating nearly enough calories at all. I'd imagine the weight isn't dropping because she's starving.

Also, Jena, you can't blame genetics. I was given the short end of the gene stick as well as hypothyroidism (which creates an even slower metabolism), but I don't ever use them as excuses. You say you can accept compliments for things you "have control over," and I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you are 100% in control of your weight and the way you look.

I'm not starving, am I?? I eat quite often... Wtf. I honestly can't stand to eat anymore. I feel like a fat (pardon choice of words here) eating every three hours as it is...

I don't have control over the shape of eyes, the natural color of hair, skin tone, height, and where I gain weight. Those are the things I'm talking about. I get told all the time that I "have a pretty face" or that I "gain weight in the right places to make me curvy" or stupid crap like that. I'm sick of being complimented on things I don't have a choice about. I'm not using genetics as an excuse, I'm just saying I don't want compliments on things a randomly generated sequence of nucleotides dictate.

[MissJenaKay]

If you're not eating enough calories, your body thinks it's starving and will hang onto all that fat. You should start out aiming for about 1,800 calories. From looking at your logs on some days, I don't think you clear 1,200.

And I can see how those compliments piss you off. Someone saying "you have a pretty face" or "you put weight on all the right places" translates into "I think you're a fat-," or at least that's how I would take it. I always hated hearing that I had a pretty face because that meant that the rest of me was ugly, so wtf?!

But be glad you have a pretty face because it will do you a lot of favors when you do lose the weight. There was a bumper sticker that I used to like: "I might be fat, but you're ugly, and I can diet."

But I eat every three hours and I try to get enough calories. I do what I can... But it's evidently not good enough... Some days food just doesn't taste good. I get days where I just don't even want to eat, I don't know why, but I hate eating.

And the thing that pisses me off is that people look at me and I bet they think I eat all the time. And I don't. And I don't know what to do, and I hate body, and I hate life, and I honestly find nothing I like. That why the compliments piss me off so much. I feel like when I get a compliment, the person thinks that I'll be all "Oh gosh, thank you so much, I never get complimented, you're the best person ever." or that they'll be able to get more out of me. It makes me sick. I hate it.

Also, I don't think I have a pretty face, feature are all too soft, there's nothing that's attention grabbing or anything that is actually striking enough to be pretty.

[jordy91]

I went from a B cup to a DD cup gaining weight (on the pill at the time too) and I lost 12 kg last year and cup size didnt decrease... Im kind joping as I get to a healthier weight that they will shrink a bit...I dont like bouncyness!!!!

Doing Chest Exercises will firm your pecs (muscles under your Breasts and this WILL Lift your breasts - how much this will work im not sure but it will happen

[MissJenaKay]

You don't hate your life. You love school and you love what you're doing there.

We all have days where we don't feel like eating, but we eat anyway. Brent has been encouraging you to post your calories/protein/carbs in your journal so you can start to count them up and see where you're at. If you see you're at like 1,000-1,200 calories, you know you need to pick it up a bit, maybe add in another grilled chicken breast here or there or whatever. If you see you're at 2,500 or something, you can easily pinpoint the problem (for me, it was cheese).

Also, I really hope you can eventually get to the point where you don't care what other people are thinking. I'll bet you that 99% of the time, they aren't even thinking about you at all, much less what you are or aren't eating. Such is the way of the world.

And those "soft" features will come out a bit if you lose weight. I also had very soft features, and now I have a defined profile. That's what happens when your bones come out to play.

There's a difference there, I never really have liked eating, so if I decide I don't feel like it, I just don't.... :/ Also, for a lot of the things I have to eat (like the stuff from the student center) I don't have nutrition facts for...I'm counting for what I can...

I don't think there will ever be a day where I will stop worrying about what other people think. It's always on mind. It's terribly stressful and I wish I could stop, but I can't seem to, no matter what I try.

I certainly hope so...

[MissJenaKay]

That was actually already a plan. I can do a service trip, but they are usually in the US, I can also do quarters and full years abroad and I really want to spend a year in either London or Sheffield (I would ideally get to spend a year in Ireland, but school doesn't provide a year abroad in Ireland for studies.

[MissJenaKay]

Thanks.