best shot

[Boss Man]

Runway models may deal with psychological problems I would concur, but in some cases I believe not.

They could quite easily walk away and not do what they do, but they continue to do it and it's not like the people they work for take them back to some grotty bedsit and chain them to a radiator for hours. They're not performing seals, or slaves from Eastern Europe, they're people who should have some intelligence to question how they look and question the ethics of the people who think they should look like that, but one argument would be, some of those models don't care how that look may be perceived, or how such a physical state may hurt their health, because the money and fame governs their heads and hearts.

Such people have a way out, but I think many choose to continue doing it, because sadly the money, fame and adjulation, corrupts their idea of what beauty is.

[Bonnie]

Not even sure where perfection came into this, certainly wasn't me who said they were seeking it. When one follows a certain lifestyle of healthy eating & exercise CONSISTENTLY the results will be there, to motivate one further. Fitness isn't a hobby its like breathing, it shouldn't be a " separate " part of your life. Takes 45 minutes out of ones day & the eating part, well thats just common sense. This is where most people fail, thinking fitness is a " extra " in life,when in reality it should be an integral everyday habit.

There is no insecurity when one is on a path of health & the BY PRODUCT is the appearance of the body, when given proper fuel & exercise that is how it will look. Maybe some chicks in their twenties would be competitive in that way ?..Not sure. Though their goals may not be the same as mine, which is to be the best I can be & then teach others how to achieve it.Anyway good luck to you.

[Bonnie]

There are slaves in Europe ? !!

[fit-fanatic-2025]

Maybe some chicks in their twenties would be competitive in that way ?..

I thought you were like that?

As an overweight person I would see a fit person & think " bitch " wish I looked like that, most women DO think that way. Deny it if you want but its true. Now when those women give me dirty looks I smile, because they have no idea just how much work & sacrifice it takes.

Maybe i'm not understanding you correctly.

[Boss Man]

There are slaves in Europe ? !!

Sadly yes.

People lure females from places like Albania, Yugoslavia, Croatia etc etc, with the promise of a decent job like secretarial work and a better life in Britain, then most get here and realise they are living in squallour, being prostituted, not being allowed much, if any, of the money gained from it and sometimes abused and forced to take drugs and they have no way to escape very easily, which is hard.

Immigration people sometimes make inrodes into it, by jailing some people involved, but it isn't anything that will go away anytime soon, because the potential for the slave masters, if you can call them that, to profit off vulnerable, susceptable females, is there.

I think a lot of it started up after or during the Balkan conflict, because peoples lives after the split of the former Yugoslavia, were pretty grim, with bombed out untenable housing, lost possessions and no work, but to some people a pretty face is a commodity, regardless of the method(s) used to make money from it .

[fit-fanatic-2025]

Besides, I thought we already established that a lot of us on this board don't agree with everything that everyone else says and that makes other people get their bikini bottoms in a wad?

Don't want that to happen.

[Bonnie]

No it wasn't jealousy it was envy. So I did something about it to change myself, essentially those women ended up being motivational. Now I smile at the same ones whom give me the evil eye, because I know they to can change if they really want it. When I see an overweight woman I see potential, unfortunately I also see how hard their heart has to work & its a worrying situation.

Allison I didn't say if you are over 15 % body fat one shouldn't love themselves, not sure where that came from. Though I did drop by your journal lately & saw where you " ate the junk food " in the cupboard so you'd be safe for the weekend food wise. Really ? Now you don't have the monopoly on that behavior I've been there too & let me assure you I wasn't loving myself afterwards I was upset at feeling like a failure which usually resulted in further eating binges.

I stopped posting in here because this is a " feeling good about yourself..don't hold yourself accountable " site. Frankly to achieve some goals one needs to be hard on themselves, otherwise the behavior will remain the same & so will the body. I personally think mentally that is not healthy.

[fit-fanatic-2025]

x

[Bonnie]

I see people as heart & lungs, organs, functionality is why. I also don't feel the approach of " its okay " to keep doing destructive behaviors is appropriate, nor healthy for ones mental state. As you said deep down people are hard on themselves, is that healthy ? Why not make changes so its not necessary to ever be hard on yourself in the future ? I don't think being over weight is a social issue in terms of every overweight person should lose weight to " look " good. If the world is so pro recycle, green earth etc, why can't they see its just as important to recycle the body, no one was born to be obese. Its gluttonous, lazy lifestyles & it affects ALL of us in the end in terms of medical care overload etc etc...I'm done posting on this also, we all have our own individual personalities but our bodies are only vessels & should be maintained in a healthy state.

Btw your not just accountable to yourself, there is the entire world to think of each time someone sits down to woof down a doughnut because it affects all of us, domino effect.

[fit-fanatic-2025]

I disagree, we are only accountable to ourselves!

[Bonnie]

You always disagree with everything I say, normal. However thinking your actions only affect you in this world is selfish, typical in this society.

[Bonnie]

Boss man is the never ending supportive one here. I say it how it is. I refuse to enable people to not reach their true potential, by placating them. Not job. Whats going on for you is called " life " we all deal with it.

[Boss Man]

True enough, life goes on time marches, but I agree the individual is accountable to themselves a lot of the time, but sometimes not.

Such instances would be when there's children to consider. If you're a single person trying to lose weight, you have nobody but yourself to answer to. When there's children involved, you have them to answer to, because you don't want to be living in a way that might possibly rob them of a parent too soon, as I think most people would like to be at least in their mid 50's, before a parent passing doesn't feel like the theft of a parent, but merely natures way, plus if you're living a bad lifestyle, you'll cause your children potential worry, stress, maybe even bullying for how you look, or you make them think it's okay to be overweight, so they risk their health and perhaps get bullied.

So it's circumstance that to some degree dictates accountability and it's also circumstance that dictates what you are able to do to some degree. Sometiems things like life and work pressures make exercise hard to achieve sometimes, or eating at approximate times difficult, or you get put in situations where there's shared food, but it's not what you'd like.

It's easy to say it's black and white. You're overweight, so you make a bad impression on society and contribute to blame cultures, whether you try to change or not, or it's black and white that you ate something you know shouldn't have, so you should automatically feel like a piece of trash and admonish yourself for a week.

Sometimes people need a harsh reality, but it's how that is delivered by others that matters. One way is to say, you know that you need to change, because if you don't things will get worse and you deserve better than this. Another is to say, how the hell will you be able to change things, if you do dumbass stuff too often huh, what's the matter with you are you stupid?

I know what approach I favour. People know when they have made mistakes and are almost always able to give themselves grief, so I wouldn't favour a kick someone in the teeth approach.

I also would NEVER reveal PM's I get in 99.99% of cases, but in this case I will, (no nameing of the individual), as an example of someone taking an unfair approach to how I respond to people. Plus they haven't posted here for about 2 years anyway.

I actually had an individual on here once, a few years ago, PM me telling me they would not respond to or read things I said, because I was too negative.

When I politely responded asking them to clarify what they meant, or provide examples, so I could clarify why I would have said what I said, they never wrote back, so I ignored them.

I rationalised it simply by knowing that if I know someone is giving out dangerous, or highly misguided advice, or they aren't eating / training properly, I won't ignore it if I have a decent amount of time to respond, but if someone is eating 1,000 calories of fruit and veg a day and thinking that's okay to lose weight, because it's healthy food, you have to respond for their own benefit, but however tactfully you put it, you'll still have to be a bit negative, because giving someone the impression they tried to go it alone and got it a bit wrong isn't positive, but telling them they're doing great and to keep it up, is hurting them more and potentially letting them develop or worsen any health concerns, which is partially negligent, to make them think their half decent attempts are spot on and there's nothing to worry about, when there is or could be.

So there's support, but there's also a persons circumstances and differing ways to make a point or statement, that reflect well or badly on you, it's about helping people, but being smart and rational enough to recognise how what you do, might impact and therefore make what do have more value, in terms of how you're perceived and how what you say is taken by others.

Occasionally I may have looked a little tough with one or two people, but by wording it carefully, it doesn't look like a drill sargeant wrote it, because I don't want people to be driven away from the site.

People are entitled to view others circumstances in a different way to others, that's one reason why we're different and unique, not carbon copies, but what it boils down to, is how you choose to interact with others, not just how you feel and what you feel, because there will always be right and wrong ways to express your differing stance or viewpoint, but for me, the step up in intelligent responding, comes from working out the right approach for you and them and being able to clarifiy yourself when things get misconstrued.

I'm proud of attitude to others here and how I respond and that won't change, because before you address the individuals needs, you must be very mindful of the individuals circumstances and feelings, as what they expose of themselves in any given message, is a snapshot or soundbite only, not a carte blanche expression of their deepest emotional and mantal depths and feelings and therefore you cannot know exactly how they think, feel or respond, to everything that has gone on in their life to date, but if you don't factor in their uniqueness and their human differences into responses and use the same blanket responses each time, you will end up possibly being viewed wrongly yourself sometimes, or have your actions interpreted in a way you don't wish .

Hopefully what I said makes sense. All of it

[scottgaran]

I'm going to jump in here. I think Boss hit it on the head, there is definitely a certain way things should be handled, and blunt and straight to the point don't always work. As a fitness trainer I would quickly be out of a job if I told clients "the reason you are out of shape is you are too damn lazy to exercise and eat right." In some situations this may in fact be the case, but there are other things like emotions that come into play. The world is not black and white, and we simply cannot act like it is. Well, I guess if you want to be successful in life you can't anyway.
Scott

[fit-fanatic-2025]

I actually had an individual on here once, a few years ago, PM me telling me they would not respond to or read things I said, because I was too negative.

Are you sure they weren't just messing with you? I've read many of your posts and your pretty much the oppositie of that comment.