Jena's Journal.

[musculArgirl2]

I agree everyone should put in there best effort. I just meant with weight loss you may need to be a little less stringent because things don't always go according to plan. It will happen though.

[MissJenaKay]

I'll see what I can do, Becky.

[Boss Man]

It's okay to be dissapointed with your B- if you're used to A's, but it's still a great grade and it's what you achieve overall that mattes, not just one grade .

As for the weight loss a good way to counteract weight loss is stress, as Cortisol can contribute to Fat gain and you will sometimes potentially get no weight loss or a bit of gain, but it's about the long-term too and one week of not getting what you hoped for, shouldn't mentally derail you or mean you're going to keep getting dissatisfactory weeks, so keep believing and keep p8ushing okay.

You're doing GREAT .

[MissJenaKay]

A B- is a terrible grade, Boss.

Also, I really want to see progress every week.

[MissJenaKay]

Todays Totals

Calories - 1870
Exercise - 501
Net Calories - 1369
Fat - 52g
Carbs - 244g
Fibre - 15g
Sugar - 105g
Protein - 109g
Sodium - 2472mg

Sugar was very high today, much more so than most days even. I don't like this, I will admit though that I have indulged today on one of favorite foods ever: P'zone from Pizza Hut, I only ate half, and I have switched from the meat version to one that also has peppers and onions in it with only one type of meat instead of four. Lol. Not much of a consolation, but better than I could have done, this is also a one time in a long time thing. C:

[MissJenaKay]

I've come to the conclusion that I hate people. I'm sooooo sick of being nice to people and caring about people to be treated like shit and insulted at every opportunity.

[Boss Man]

A B- is a terrible grade, Boss.

Yes it probably would feel like that if you're used to A's, but you'll bounce back and as I said, it's about the overall aggregate grades not one grade.

So try not to look on it too harshly. There's probably people regularly getting B-C grades who would kill for a B-, just once.

Also people who insult you a lot, shouldn't put you off being cool with people. Forget those people and concentrate on the ones that think well of you, like we do, but don't let such people turn you into someone you might hate, I.E. a very anti-social, potentially bitchy type.

When you let yourself be, you can be a pretty beautiful person inside, so screw the people that act negtively, because they don't matter and if they change you into a negtive person, they end up winning to some extent.

You're better and more beautiful than those sorts of people, trust me .

[MissJenaKay]

I'm just so sick of being teeated badly, Boss. I don't understand why people ALWAYS take advantage of nice people. It makes me want to stop being nice. So what if they win, it keeps me from getting hurt. Also, Boss, why are you one of the only people that ever sees the good in me and thinks I'm worth the time of day it takes to reply to me? I must not be nearly as good as you think.

Todays Totals

Calories - 1839
Exercise - 669
Net Calories - 1170
Fat - 54
Carbs - 227
Fibre - 23
Sugar - 79
Protein - 117
Sodium - 2355

[musculArgirl2]

I'm just so sick of being teeated badly, Boss. I don't understand why people ALWAYS take advantage of nice people. It makes me want to stop being nice. So what if they win, it keeps me from getting hurt. Also, Boss, why are you one of the only people that ever sees the good in me and thinks I'm worth the time of day it takes to reply to me? I must not be nearly as good as you think.

We definitely think your worth the time of day Jena. I struggle with relationships myself so i guess i feel uncomfortable giving you advice that i myself still have problems with sometimes.

I do know though that your a talented, smart, kind, pretty girl and you have a lot of things to look forward to in life so just hang in there. I would also say you might want to reconsider relationships where you feel treated badly by the person or at least weigh why you are letting them treat you badly.

[MissJenaKay]

We definitely think your worth the time of day Jena. I struggle with relationships myself so i guess i feel uncomfortable giving you advice that i myself still have problems with sometimes.

I do know though that your a talented, smart, kind, pretty girl and you have a lot of things to look forward to in life so just hang in there. I would also say you might want to reconsider relationships where you feel treated badly by the person or at least weigh why you are letting them treat you badly.

Thanks, Becky. I let people treat me badly because I don't ever want to hurt anyone. I can't live with myself if I hurt someone. I never want to make anyone feel the way people have made me feel.

In other news, life might fall apart any minute as I'm at the mercy of someone that is angry at me as to whether or not he tells parents something that might get me disowned.

[musculArgirl2]

n other news, life might fall apart any minute as I'm at the mercy of someone that is angry at me as to whether or not he tells parents something that might get me disowned

Nice guy it sounds like. (I'm being sarcastic) I wish i was full of advice but i'm not i don't knw what to tell you. I'm sorry.

I do know we all do things we regret or are stupid. Things we'd rather our parents not know about. and really as adults a lot of stuff i don't think is necessary for your parents too know about. I hope this guy keeps his mouth shut.

[MissJenaKay]

I hopeso too, he's planning on outing me to parents. That will not end well.

Today was weigh in and.... I lost .7 pounds. A pathetic amount but better than gaining I guess. I DON't understand why it's so hard to lose. I'm not trying to shave off that last couple pounds, so why am I getting nowhere when I'm eating pretty well and exercising pretty much every day?

[musculArgirl2]

I hopeso too, he's planning on outing me to parents. That will not end well.

Today was weigh in and.... I lost .7 pounds. A pathetic amount but better than gaining I guess. I DON't understand why it's so hard to lose. I'm not trying to shave off that last couple pounds, so why am I getting nowhere when I'm eating pretty well and exercising pretty much every day?

That's a pretty jerky think to do, hopefully it works out for you.


.7 is definitely better than gaining. .7 though is good. And it did go down that's what matters.

[MissJenaKay]

Well, I have two options, I either have to come out to parents on own or he will out me. I'm so scared. I can't do this. I might lose everything. If that happens, I can't live with it. So let's hope like hell parents are accepting and loving. I don't think life could get a whole lot more fucked up right now, that is unless I do come out and I get disowned, then it can't get any more screwed up and stressful. And at that point, I'll no longer have anything to live for. I hate this. I can't handle this.

[fitoverforty]

Jena, I know this is certainly a very scary thing to be facing. I don't pretend to know all the answers, or what is the best thing for you to do in this situation, I can only offer thoughts on it so here goes...
first thought when I read your posts about this, was that right now that person has the "power". The best thing to do, if in fact you are pretty sure that he is going to out you, is to take that power away from him, so he can't threaten you with it anymore. And if you decide to tell your parents, then at least they will hear it from you and you will have the opportunity to tell them the way you want, and on your terms.

So let's hope like hell parents are accepting and loving

You know your parents better than anyone else, as to how they will react. It may not go well at first, it may be a shock, or you may be surprised that they may have already known, or suspected. But either way, it needs to come from you. And if you tell your parents, they may need some time to come to terms with it - they may worry that life may be harder for you, people will treat you differently, things won't be as easy for you - and that would hurt them to see you going through any of that.
When I was younger I got into some trouble (DWI) I thought I could keep it a secret forever, but it didn't work out that way. folks found out after the insurance company called them about it! dad called me at work one day and told me that he knew about the DWI - heart dropped to the floor, i felt sick and wanted to crawl under a rock somewhere - but he didn't yell or scream or tell me how disappointed he was, or that I had to move out, or any of that - he was sweet, and loving and compassionate ( Dad was not the "sweet" type, he was kinda strict and terse) and said we would get through this together. i cried some big tears that day, for the relief that they knew, sadness that it didn't come from me, and for myself for worrying so long over it and underestimating parents.
I realize your situation is different, but I just wanted you to know that sometimes in the "outing" of something - there is peace, and freedom - it may not happen over night, and it may not seem like the future holds any thing good - but I am an eternal optimist - I believe in the good of people, their ability to accept and love unconditionally. I had some hard knocks in life, lots of hurt and pain, people doing me wrong, but through it all I still believe that we choose our destiny, we make our own paths in life, we find our way, one day at a time, one situation at a time.
I am sending you all positive thoughts and energy your way, I wish you all the best in whatever decision you make.