Involving son in this good life!

[splashangel]

Hello All ,
name is Angel and I lurked for a bit, and became a member about 2 weeks ago. I started working on self about 5-6 months ago I guess. I am happy with the changes in life. I eat clean,feel good,exercise etc. Most important though is how good I feel about self. I dont know what I weighed at first .I weighed for the first time in many years about a month ago. I have gone from a size 14-16 to 10. I weigh about 175 at 6'. I am 44 this month. son is 10 and a little chunky but real nice build. Broad chested. I am going to try and put his pic here but if not it will be in pictures. He is a very good kid. A-B honor roll every time.But.... He will lay in the bed watching T.V. or playing games till bedtime again. He will go all day with out drinking anything at all unless I hand it to him. He rarely rides his bike but I'm getting one so we can go together. He complains when I try to take him trail hiking. I have been taking him for walks and have to keep saying come on buddy. Where you at man? (you get it) I try to get him to throw and catch the football and he pretty much just stands there and lets the ball hit him in the chest(nerf) or go by him. Then he drags himself along to get it. I instead of being all nice and you can do it I just told him if he didn't throw and catch the ball and act like he liked it I was going to take his T.V for 7 days straight. I kid you not, he began to play like a pro. So yesterday, I took him to the beach, I decided to take him for a short run with me, not 10 min. in I looked around and he was really huffing and pouring sweat. I was running slow for him. The next thing I know, I hear this awfull wheezing.Over the surf. I then realized something more was going on then just him being out of shape. I stopped him and sat him in the water and shortly he was fine. I am taking him to a doctor on Mon. but I think he may have excercise induced asthma. I still want more for him then where he can end up if his attitude does not change but I guess I don't know how to make it fun. I have No problems getting him to eat healthy. Just excercise.I DO NOT want to shove it down his throat but I don't want to see him laying around all the time. I know this post is long and I apoligize for it . Thanks for any advice here.

[fitoverforty]

Hello! Welcome. First of all, congrats to you for making the positive changes in your life to become a healthier you. That is awesome. I can relate to your story very well. I am also in 40's - well, okay I'm 49, and hanging on for dear life!! and I have a son who is just a couple years older than your son. It is hard sometimes for us to understand that not everyone is going to respond to our enthusiastic zest for exercise the same way we do. It may take longer, or a different approach to get them off the couch. son has always been pretty active, playing outside, in the pool, etc., but I wanted us to have something more in common, and since running is thing, then that was the most natural thing for me to encourage him to do. Last year he started running with me in the mornings 5:45 a.m. at first he thought that was really cool, then it became a bit more harder and he started resisting, but he started to see the fruits of his labor and he really got into it - we entered a few 5K's together. Right now he isn't running, but I found another sport he likes we can do together and that is racquetball at the gym.
Finding what your son likes to do, not just what you want him to do, might be a way to get him started. If he is having difficulty exercising (the breathing problems) then I can imagine that to him the thought of exerting himself is a scary one, so maybe he self consciously avoids it or has a negative attitude toward it.

I try to get him to throw and catch the football and he pretty much just stands there and lets the ball hit him in the chest(nerf) or go by him. Then he drags himself along to get it. I instead of being all nice and you can do it I just told him if he didn't throw and catch the ball and act like he liked it I was going to take his T.V for 7 days

I know it is frustrating to try to get our kids to be more active, but in opinion this may not be the most positive way to go about it. The fact that you had to pull out the "parent threat card" (hey, we've all used it ) probably took alot of the joy away from the whole experience for both of you.
Is there a sport he like to watch? Baseball, tennis, golf, etc.? Maybe if you tried to involve him in something he enjoys he will respond better.
It's good that you have no problem getting him to eat healthy, that in itself is a big accomplishment!
Don't give up, I think it is a great thing that you are trying to involve him, and are doing things together - it just takes some time to find the perfect fit for the both of you.
Btw - his picture is adorable - he is a great looking kid - best of luck to you in your continued fitness and in your dedication in helping your son live a healthier life as well!

[Boss Man]

Be proud of yourself and know that when it comes to it you DO have what it takes to help him and you WILL find the right ways.

Keep believing and don't forget what you are both worth. I know you're trying to do your best and I have no doubts you're a very good parent. I'm sure deep down he doesn't want to be in a bad situation and because of you he will get the message.

As Lynne asked can you involve your Son in anything he enjoys?

[splashangel]

Thank you fitoverforty. No, I don't want to threaten him, I want him to want to go outside and play with me. I have kid's here often and I hear them begging him to go play outside and he never wants to go. I always make him. He will get in the pool but he just wants to sorta bob around. He is real laid back and easy going. He loves to hang out but not get to active with it. You might be right. It could very well be that he has had breathing difficulties before and it has had a negative impact. I just don't know.
Hello Bossman.I intend to keep plugging along untill I hit on something he likes but honestly, I don't know of anything. Er...Well, he does like to slip-n-slide. I guess I could give it a go.

[splashangel]

Just thought I would update. No more problems but I havn't pushed him AT ALL. We do have a Dr. Appt. on Mon.( First day of school) So, untill then we are laying low.I am interested in hearing how others spend time being active with their kids.

[gympamela]

12 year old is the same way. I get him the heck out of the house, use the premise of running an errand, and then do something like go swimming or walking in the park, or anything really. The trick with son is just getting him away from the xbox!!!

Good luck, welcome!

[splashangel]

Well, we have our answer. It is asthma. Since only the one attack, Doc says he thinks it is excercise induced but could have just been set off by it since people with asthma also have attacks during excercise. Anyways, son thinks the inhaler is cool They also think casts and braces are cool, at least, for the first few days. I ask his doctor did he think he might out grow it and he said it was possible.I really hope so.I thought maybe once I had an answer the fear would go away... But I still kind of cringe inside when I think about excercising with him. I havn't since that day and I really don't want to now.The sound of the wheezing and watching him pulling for air scared me. I know I can not let it stop us from being active. I am sure we have alot of good times ahead of us biking,hiking or even tossing a football, but I gotta say, this has kinda put a damper on it. I am going to research all the athletes I can who have asthma. This should help. Thanks for the responses I really appreciate them.
Angel

[Boss Man]

Don't lose heart okay .

I know it must have been scary and panicky watching him going through his episode, but knowing what befell him, shouldn't deter you from continuing to want progress for him and you.

He has a medical problem, though not a very serious one that affects his brain function or musculoskeletal system, so there are still plenty of things you can do for him .

I can tell you're a really good Mother and it shows in your wants and feelings for him and I wish you well, learning to adapt to what you now know, so don't let this put you off, because adding to his problems won't help him as much, as working around them to improve him in other ways will.

GOOD LUCK and best wishes to you.

Angel is an apt name for someone who cares so much for their Son, so keep flying high and helping your Son to find the best road ahead.

I'm sure you CAN.

.

[splashangel]

What a kind reply. Thank-you. I didn't know I needed that,but I guess I did. I am planning a hike for us this weekend. It should be fun. Life brings what it will,doesn't it?

[Boss Man]

Keep believing in what is possible for you and him. If you use your best judgement and natural maternal instincts, you will make what you are trying to do for you and him more likely.

I hope the hike works out okay for you .

[ketchuplover]

Hope things are going well for both of you

[splashangel]

Things are pretty good. Well,only I broke toe... I have changed approach with Kenneth. I changed life and a friend noticed.She was 5'5 269lbs. Long story short,I told her what I did. I started cooking for her. Low cal but healthy. She is losing. Someone else ask and offered to pay me to do the same for her. I am. I also am talking to a friend of hers about helping her. No, I don't know alot,but I love to cook and know the basics. Because I spend so much time cooking (not only them,but myself and familia,but also an 83 yr. old gramaw with dimensia is included) I decided to get him to help me. I explain to him how this" blank" food is going to help our friend have the energy to feel like walking etc. I also have a friend who has a feeding tube in her stomache and three days a week I go put food in it for her. This has allowed me to show him that even though we want our food to taste good, it is really more about our bodies need for it. I have been able to approach food in a new way through this.He has had no more asthma attacks. We have taken it easy. Right or wrong, it will take time for me to run with him again.

[Boss Man]

Only you can know what is best for both of you. Whatever guidance from this or external sources is given, can never be an automatic replacement for the warm, parental nourishment, you want to feed your Son.

However I know that through your own human abilities you WILL be capable of finding the right outcome(s), over time and I am not here to appear to judge, admonish, coerse or persuade you over any course of action, but myself and others will happily continue to support you and to give you some kind of emotional security, so you know you're not going to be going through things with little to no help

I think it's great that others want to cite you as a reason for change and want to be more involved in a better way of living. You may not have all the answers, but you're only human and it's not bad thing to admit it, because if you weren't, your Son would have one heck of a lousy Mother and he doesn't.

I'm glad you came back and mentioned things, because I want to tell you I'm really proud of you for continuing to value your Son and also yourself.

You and he are worth a lot to this world and I'm sure with you around, it can help him to turn out like you and I don't doubt he's probably a great kid and he deserves a healthy, happy future, just like you do, so being committed to each other and finding the motivation through other peoples interest in what you're doing, are all key things ot help you achieve your aims / goals.

I wish you a lot of luck and will reiterate this communites pledge, to try what we realistically can, when we realistically can, to support you and look out for you in a manner befitting of a true Lady.

Good luck to you Angel and very, very best wishes in your continued efforts to effect positive change for you and your Son.

He is very lucky to have you in his life, because you are a beautiful light to help him to see with .

[splashangel]

O.K Bossman, I just couldn't be more floored. I read your reply last night and I truely didn't know how to answer. I mean... It's just rare for people to be so thoughtfull.Carefull of others feelings. I went through the posts just to see if maybe you were just having a good few days. Nope. Looks like you are pretty much the same all the time. I am really glad I found this site. Thank you for the Encouragement and the positive words.

[Boss Man]

I always try to be mindful of others feelings, because in order to try and help people, I believe you must try to understand them and be respectful and flexible to different types of personalities. .