Gaining muscle vs too many calories

[igneousisbliss]

I'm a new member here, so here is a little background on me: I am a 21yr old geoscience student in TX. I consider myself pretty active, workout (cardio and bodyweight exercises) 5-6 times a week, as well as hiking/backpacking regularly. I eat well; lots of fruits and veggies, limit wheat/oats to right after workouts or in the morning, avoid added sugars, alcohol, etc. And fitness goal is to become very toned and have a lot of muscle definition.
Right now, I think I am "skinny fat" ( )...meaning I am 5'7" and weigh 114 lbs, but BF percentage is 18-21%, depending on which calculator I use. I would like to reduce body fat AND build muscle, but I need some advice. A lot of what I read about gaining muscle tells me I need to be getting a lot more protein than I am right now, but that means a lot more calories...but I fear that if I up calories, I will gain body fat instead of muscle because I am a woman. For instance, if I actually follow "maintenance" calories that lots of sites calculate, I gain weight (in fat, not muscle). Now, I know there are a lot of incredibly defined women, so I must be missing out on something. I AM new to this, so I'm pretty ignorant on the "right" way to gain muscle, I suppose!
So...I guess question is, how do you balance getting enough protein without adding so many calories that you gain fat? Or do you just workout more to makeup for the extra calories? If so, what kind of workout...cardio or weights, etc?
I want those Jillian Michael shoulders
Please don't tell me I am "too skinny", etc. I'm not trying to lose WEIGHT, just . I don't care about the number on the scale and would actually be quite happy to see it go up as long as it's muscle But since I do not weigh very much, I am having a VERY hard time getting rid of body fat.

PS- Another random question that I can't seem to find the answer to: why is agave considered "healthier" than honey? I know. Quite off topic. But I figured someone here would know.

[Boss Man]

I'm not sure about the Agave.

1lb of added muscle burns another 45-50 calories, so don't worry about the Protein. Aim for a minimum of around 0.8g per lb of bodyweight a day, but you may find increasing at some is beneficial, in which case don't exceed around 1.2g a day, as I don't think you'd need to.

Geoscience. I guessed something like that, when I saw your user name.

I suspect though it doesn't get as nerdy, as whether you're in the Basalt or Granite loving camp, arguing the relative merits with the other group

Muscle gaining type exercise will provide conenctive tissue and bone density benefits too and for life as well, so a great choice to make and good luck with it.

We will support you when and how we can .